Telling your kids how they were born is not that hard anymore............

A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"

The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:

"You got Male!"

 Dr. Mark Farber the investment guru, concluded his monthly bulletin with the following comments.

Dr. Marc Faber tells it how it is

"The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer, it will go to India. If we purchase fruits and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car, it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap, it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy.
The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in the US.
I've been doing my part....."

Трудности перевода или почему фильмы надо смотреть в оригинале...

Смотрели с мужем кино, по-русски называется "Среди акул" с Кевином
Спейси в главной роли. Скачать получилось только погано дублированный
вариант. Сюжет вкратце - подчиненный берет своего доставшего до печенок
начальника в заложники у него дома. Идет диалог, не имеющий никакого
отношения к представителям нетрадиционной ориентации. Один другого
спрашивает: "What do you want from me?" (что тебе от меня надо?) Ответ:
"I want you (пауза) to think" Это элементраный оборот в английском
языке, дословный перевод которого "я хочу, чтобы ты подумал". Что
переводит этот толмач: "Я хочу тебя. Подумай."
С тех пор эта фраза в нашей семье крылатая. А фильм очень рекомендую...

 Ребята,подскажите,пожалуйста,к какому типу условных предложений относится такое предложение:'Если бы он не знал английского,это было бы проблемой.' (Имеется ввиду 'Если бы он не знал английского,для него была бы проблемой поездка в Лондон'). Я запуталась и нахожусь в ступоре ) Заранее спасибо всем!

 Здесь можно найти много полезного: http://www.whitesmoke.com/english-lessons.html?d=7...2276&prId=249&sId=1185

I saw your face today, in the face of a stranger
But when I looked again, you were not there anymore

I heard your voice today, in the middle of a crowd
I turned arround to listen, but did not hear a sound

I felt your touch today, in the blowing wind
I clung to that moment, held it to its end

I cried over you today, drowned in my own sorrow
Then I came to realize, there is always a tomorrow. (c)

Three-Word Phrases, can be tools to help develop every relationship. 

There are many things that you can do to strengthen your relationships. Often the most effective thing you can do involves saying just three words. When spoken sincerely, these statements often have the power to develop new friendships, deepen old ones and even bring healing to relationships that have soured.

The following three-word phrases can be tools to help develop every relationship.

~    Let me help:
Good friends see a need and then try to fill it. When they see a hurt they do what they can to heal it. Without being asked, they jump in and help out.

~  I understand you:
People become closer and enjoy each other more when the other person accepts and understands them. Letting your spouse know - in so many  little ways - that you understand them, is one of the most powerful tools for healing your relationship. And this can apply to any relationship.

~  I respect you:
Respect is another way of showing love. Respect demonstrates that another person is a true equal.  If you talk to your children as if they were adults you will strengthen the bonds and become closer friends.  This applies to all interpersonal relationships.

~  I miss you:
Perhaps more marriages could be saved and strengthened if couples simply and sincerely said to each other “I miss you.”  This powerful affirmation tells partners they are wanted, needed, desired and loved.  Consider how important you would feel, if you received an unexpected phone call from your spouse in the middle of your workday, just to say “I miss you.”

~  Maybe you’re right:
This phrase is very effective in diffusing an argument.  The implication when you say “maybe you’re right” is the humility of admitting, “maybe  I’m wrong”.  Let’s face it.  When you have an argument with someone,  all you normally do is solidify the other person’s point of view. They, or you, will not likely change their position and you run the risk of seriously damaging the relationship between you.  Saying “maybe you’re right” can open the door to explore the subject more.  You may then have the opportunity to express your view in a way that is understandable to the other person. 

~ Please forgive me:
Many broken relationships could be restored and healed if people would admit their mistakes and ask for forgiveness. All of us are vulnerable to faults, foibles and failures. A man should never be ashamed to own up that he has been in the wrong, which is saying, in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday.

~  I thank you:
Gratitude is an exquisite form of courtesy. People who enjoy the companionship of good, close friends are those who don’t take daily courtesies for granted. They are quick to thank their friends for their many expressions of kindness. On the other hand, people whose circle of  friends is severely constricted often do not have the attitude of gratitude.

~  Count on me:
A friend is one who walks in when others walk out. Loyalty is an essential ingredient for true friendship.  It is the emotional glue that bonds people. Those that are rich in their relationships tend to be steady and true friends. When troubles come, a good friend is there indicating “you can count on me.”

~   I’ll be there:
If you have ever had to call a friend in the middle of the night, to take a sick child to hospital, or when your car has broken down some miles from home, you will know how good it feels to hear the phrase “I’ll be there.” Being there for another person is the greatest gift we can give. When we are truly present for other people, important things happen to them and us.  We are renewed in love and friendship. We are restored emotionally and spiritually. Being there is at the very core of civility.

~  Go for it:

Top 25 by circulation

http://www.usatoday.com/ - USA Today
http://europe.wsj.com/home-page - The Wall Street Journal
http://www.nytimes.com/ - The New York Times
http://www.latimes.com/ - Los Angeles Times
http://www.chicagotribune.com/ - Chicago Tribune
http://www.washingtonpost.com/ - The Washington Post
http://www.nydailynews.com/index.html - New York Daily News
http://www.nypost.com/ - New York Post
http://www.denverpost.com/ - The Denver Post
http://www.dallasnews.com/ - The Dallas Morning News
http://www.philly.com/inquirer/ - The Philadelphia Inquirer
http://www.chron.com/ - Houston Chronicle
http://www.freep.com/ - The Detroit News / Detroit Free Press
http://www.startribune.com/ - Star Tribune
http://www.nj.com/starledger/ - The Star-Ledger
http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/ - The Boston Globe
http://www.azcentral.com/ - The Arizona Republic
http://www.ajc.com/ - The Atlanta Journal-Constitution
http://www.newsday.com/ - Newsday
http://www.plaindealer.com/ - The Plain Dealer
http://www.sfgate.com/ - San Francisco Chronicle
http://tampabay.com/ - St. Petersburg Times
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/ - The Seattle Times / Seattle Post-Intelligencer
http://www.stltoday.com/ - St. Louis Post-Dispatch
http://www.jsonline.com/ - Milwaukee Journal Sentinel

 Papers focused on serious journalism
 

Broadsheet format:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/ - The Daily Telegraph (est. 1855) / The Sunday Telegraph (est. 1961) – owned by David and Frederick Barclay – Very

conservative.
 
http://www.ft.com/home/europe - Financial Times (est. 1888) – owned by Pearson PLC. A business-oriented daily. Economically liberal.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/ - The Sunday Times (est. 1822) – owned by Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation. Centre-Right.

Berliner format:

http://www.guardian.co.uk/ - The Guardian (est. 1821) / The Observer (est. 1791) — owned by the Scott Trust; The Guardian switched to Berliner size on 12 September 2005, followed by its sister Sunday paper The Observer on 8 January 2006. Left Wing.

Compact format:

http://www.independent.co.uk/ - The Independent (est. 1986) / Independent on Sunday (est. 1990) – Daily compact from May 2004, Sunday paper from October 2005. Centre-left, liberal views.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/ - The Times (est. 1785) – Daily compact from November 2004. Owned by Rupert Murdoch's News Corporation. Centre-Right Wing.

Middle-market papers:

http://www.express.co.uk/home - Daily Express (est. 1900) / Sunday Express (est. 1918) — owned by Richard Desmond's Northern and Shell plc; broadsheet until 1977, now published in the compact format. Conservative.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/index.html - Daily Mail (est. 1896) / The Mail on Sunday (est. 1982) — owned by Lord Rothermere's Daily Mail and General Trust plc; broadsheet until 1971, now published in the tabloid format. Conservative.

http://www.metro.co.uk/ - Metro (est. 1999) — owned by Daily Mail and General Trust plc; distributed free; working towards national status, wide availability in the major cities makes it the UK's 4th highest circulation paper. The Metro enjoys high circulation among users of public transport, with newspapers placed on trains and buses and distributors operating near stations.

Tabloids:

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/home/ - Daily Star (est. 1978) / Daily Star Sunday.

http://www.people.co.uk/ - The People (est. 1881) — owned by Trinity Mirror.

http://www.mirror.co.uk/ - The Daily Mirror (est. 1903) / Sunday Mirror (est. 1915) — owned by Trinity Mirror. Pro-Labour.

http://www.dailystar.co.uk/sport/ - The Daily Sport / The Sunday Sport.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/ - The Sun (est. 1964) / News of the World (est. 1843) — owned by News Corporation. Right-wing and populist.

http://www.morningstaronline.co.uk/index.php - The Morning Star (est. 1930) — a socialist newspaper owned by the People's Press Printing Society (an independent readers' co-operative).

• Наиболее употребляемые выражения в начале письма
• Наиболее употребляемые выражения в конце письма
• Наиболее употребительные формулы вежливости

  ---

 Подскажите сайты иностранных газет, где можно посмотреть education и employment в UK и USA.

 If you hate yourself, you will most likely fail. If you love yourself, your chances of success are much higher.

So what can you do to increase your love for yourself?

Simple!

“If you love others, you will love yourself.”

“If you hate others, you will hate yourself.”

“A healthy state of being is to be a friend to yourself.” — L. Ron Hubbard

 Еще один сайт, на котором вы можно найти примеры употребления редких и странных слов, узнать происхождение многих идиом и фразеологизмов.

 Before you start some work, always ask yourself three questions.

Why am I doing it?
What the results might be? and
Will I be successful?

Only when you think deeply and find satisfactory answers to these questions,
Go Ahead.
(c)

 Greatness comes not when things always go good for you.
But the greatness comes when you’re really tested,
when you take some knocks, some disappointments, when sadness comes.

Because only if you’ve been in the deepest valley
you can know how magnificent it is to be on the highest mountain.
(c)

 Сила в правде,а у кого правда, тот и сильней.

Если ты не готов умереть за меня - не учи меня жить.

Орлы летают одиноко, бараны пасутся стадами.

Мы докатились до того что джентльмены здороваясь с дамой не шляпу снимают, а наушники из ушей вынимают

Весь мир - театр, а люди в нем актеры.

Нет недостижимой мечты, если вы дерзнёте жить ею.

Красота требует жертв

Подсажите пожалуйста как это будет звучать на английском