Borrow money from a pessimist- they don't expect it back
Time is what keeps things from happening all at once
Never answer an anonymous letter
I don't suffer from insanity; i enjoy every minute of it
Always go to other people's funerals, or they won't go to yours
Few women admit their age; few men act it
None is listening until you make a mistake
Campers: NAture's way of feeding mosquitoes.
Always remember that you're unique; just like everyone else
Conciousness: That annoying time between naps
There are three kinds of people: Those who can count and those who can't
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
Out of my mind. Back in 5 minutes
Sometimes I wake up grumpy; other times I let her sleep
You can't have everything; where would you put it?
I took an IQ test and the results were negative
If at 1st you don't succed, destroy all evidence that you tried
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges
i just let my mind wander, and it didn't come back
Don't steal. Government hates competition
if you don't like the news, go out and make some
I can handle pain until it hurts
No metter where you go, you're here
It's been Monday all week
Gravity always gets me down
It's bad luck to be superstitious
According to my best recollection, i don't remember
Despite the cost of living, have you notices how it remains so popular?
A day without sunshine is like night
The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese
Corduroy pillows: they're making headlines!
Gravity: it's not just a good idea, it's the LAW
Nobody's perfect. I'm nobody
Ask me about my vow of silence
The hardness of butter is directly proportional to the softness of the bread
Diplomacy is the art of letting someone else get your way
I used to have open mind but my barins kept falling out
I have had amnesia as long as I can remember
Bills travel through mail at twice the speed of checks
Evolution: true science fiction
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time