At old times young people would take chances and challenge their destiny, while those of mature age would choose to be more reasonable and prudent.
Nowadays, some are still boys at 30.
I realise, now I'm authorised to do anything and take risks. Hitherto I lived my life without purpose, I wasted my time and health for things that eventually matter a little less than nothing.
That made me unhappy, seeing no reason in anything happening, with every passing day being just as useless, frustrating and dull as all those before it.
Thus whatever I do I know I risk the same doom and gloom existence that might terminate at any moment.
No fear. That helps. That would. It must.