Настроение сейчас - Nostalgic
I am at a breaking point again. But it is a good one. I think. You know, like they like to say, changes are for the better and no matter what happens it is always for a reason/for the better.
I am quitting my job as a travel operator. I've been longing to do it like forever so in the end everything has built up to it. And I'm glad. I mean I don't have any idea what will be my next job but I'm sure I'll find one. Maybe I would be disappointed again. And again. Maybe not. You never know. Doesn't mean that you should stop trying though. You know those smart words: "The only person who doesn't make mistakes is the one who is not doing anything".
I want to take a dog from a dog foster. His name is Tyler and I am already in love. It took him quite some time to get used to me but I think he is getting there. And probably it was partly my fault as I was afraid and not sure about anything. I thought I had conflicting wishes like having a dog vs studying abroad; studying abroad vs leaving my greatgrandmother.. But as one good friend loves to mention: "Life is (fucking) now". And yeah she is definitely right. Maybe all those contradicting reasons were just excuses not to do anything I don't know. But I want to do things, I want to try things, I fucking want to have a happy interesting full life. So yeah, I definitely want a dog. It is funny how my allergy stopped being the 1st reason to doubt myself but practically became the last one of them. Yep, I think humanity excels at excuses.
Last time I wrote here was before my big trip to South-East Asia. And I can say so many beautiful magical things about it. It was so nice to skip a big part of a cold-cold winter and replace it with hot heaven-like 40 days in the southern hemisphere. I can tell you that I've been a completely different person in this trip. I was an easy social funny relaxed version of myself. I've met so many magnificent people and really felt myself interesting enough and worth spending time with. You know this strange feeling: "Really? Are they really interested in things I'm saying?? Me???" I have never been like that. I was just smiling at people and they smiled back at me. People usually say that Bali is full of unique energy and you know what? They are right. The island takes some but gives you back a lot more. They also say that this island gives you back what you give to others so if you had bad experiences here you probably should think about how you treat your life and most importantly other people.
My december unfolded in Kuta with my first ever couchsurfing attempt. God, it was so much fun! Staying with an awesome gay couple and another courchsurfer =D We've celebrated my birthday and went to a gay club. I think it has been the best birthday in my life so far. Apart from that I've slept with a canadian writer of a shitty tv-series The Travellers. Not that great experience. But this experience partly pushed me to make a tatoo "Treat others as you wish to be treated. Karma's only a bitch if you are". So it was totally worth it. Funny thing is that these words are not as transparent as they seem: the first part is for me, I don't really give a damn about consequenses. I am more about "I feel good when I treat people in a good way". So yeah, it kind of coincides with my theory that all things people do are purely selfish ;) About the second part: I don't really believe in karma in the present life but I desperately want to.
So the tattoo was made in Ubud where I also drove a bike for the first time in real life. FUN! Beautiful place with its own unique ambience. Land of action for me. Rice terraces are awesome btw. Even in the rain) On my way to Ubud I've met an astrologist finn guy who was going in a kind of different direction. A little bit more about him later.
Wow I have so much more to write.. I'll continue in the near future.