In limbo again. Jobless loser. Something like that. 

Insecurity is overwhelming. Fucking complexes of childhood are back again. Did they ever leave? Soul-destroying bitches. Some people can tell you that you don't have problems really. That is just in your fucking head. I hate those morons. Nobody will ever understand if he/she hadn't been in your shoes. Your EXACT shoes. So NOBODY will ever understand you really. Even if somebody was in worse shoes than yours they wouldn't understand you either. They would think that they deserve more understanding.  But each fucked-up situation is fucking unique. And most of all it is unique for the one suffering from it. And people don't really have empathy nowadays. Not chic, you know. It is a lot more effective and comforting to be cruel, stony-hearted, self-observed, shallow person who will do anything to be approved on instagram nowadays. Fuck, why the fuck can't I be like others? My life would have been a lot more easier that way. Ok, that's not true. I don't want to be like that. I am a total masochist.  

Winter syndrome again?

I've read Brave New World. I'm really on Savage's side. And my dream - the lighthouse.. Very sad ending of the book for me and my points of view. Probably I'll end up like that too.

The world has gone mad. Explosions, war, situation with migrants, currency exchange course, crisis, national conflicts. It is like everything is gathering into an enormous funnel that will swallow the earth at some point. Nice. I really don't mind all people dying, you know. All and simultaneously. I think our planet will dance jigga-jigga right after that.

I always try to motivate people around me you know. Why the hell these stupid motivational speeches don't affect me AT ALL?! There should be some stupid auto-infusion, shouldn't it? Where the fuck is it?

Practically all people in the world have their opinion on everything and most of all are always trying to force that opinion on you. I hate them too.

So hate again. We are always coming back to one universal statement: I HATE PEOPLE. I really do. And I know that blah-blah man is a blah social fucking animal. But let's assume that I haven't been raised by people but by animals like Mowgli. I AM NOT SOCIAL. People can just go to hell. With all their disapproval, shallowness, envy, greed, prudence, artificiality, stupidity, snobbery, cruelty.. Fuck it. Fuck it all.