2014 was one hell of a year. Apart from awesome stuff already described in the previous entry there were so many.

One: I did it, I found a job in charity. And the wage is not so small as I expected. Solution to the flat question is on its way I hope. Morale? Don't you ever listen to people who tell you that anything is impossible or/and that you can't achieve smth.  Everything is in YOUR hands, not in their small narrow minds. Many things just need to be fought for in many alternative ways. It is just on you if you stopped fighting for them.

Still I'm not sure that it is what I want to do for the rest of my life, but for now it is more than ok.

I'd like to mention (again) some turning points of the year. 

Second (again): positive thinking is awesome. It's nice to see it as a rational instrument not some pink-glasses shit, you know? 

Because... Quote in a quote: Ernest Hemingway once wrote, "The world is a fine place and worth fighting for." I agree with the second part.

Third: I finally understood what pisses me off the most about people. It's their ability to lie to themselves and not even a little acknowledge it. I know that it can be said about many of us, but sometimes it is so damn hypocritical and transparent that I want to pierce one's eye with a fork.

Still even with this positive stuff sometimes I just feel this deep wide empty hole inside me. Like you know it starts somewhere near the collarbone and goes down and down. It has already devoured my heart, my soul, everything.. And it is fucking botomless.. But probably I had this feeling practically all the time before and now it just appears sometimes. Maybe some more time and I will be cured or smth like that. Maybe someday love will fulfill this fucking funnel. Oh God, I have just understood how does it sound. Never mind.

Fourth: Be careful with second chances. And I can't force you but don't give third ones. They never work.

Fifth: Do what you want eventually even if it takes you smth like 5 years to start. It took me 5 years to just start looking for a jazz club in Moscow and it took smth around 5 minutes to find one but it has already given me tons of magical pleasure during the year. And I think I have visited it for like 40-50 times already and will do it again and again. FYI:   jazzesse.ru

Sixth: Friendship is not endless. Sometimes it just dries.. i don't know. And if all you can think of is a number of years you have known your friend then you can let them go. A number can't be a reason. It is stupid to hold on just to that. Sometimes you just become two different persons which are connected only by that number and memories that don't matter anymore. I suppose that that also can be said about love and family.

Seventh: Family. You can choose your own destiny. You wasn't able to choose your parents but you are able to choose if you want to treat them like family. If you don't - it's your choice. Blood is not everything. It is just blood.

Eighth: Happy Birthday in Rome ;) Beautiful city.

I'm glad this year happened. I've become a more integral person. A more accomplished one, a more harsh one, a happier one inside myself. I deserve good things and good people to happen to me. So they will.