Chaos. That is what in my head. I'm in confused madness. I don't have a clue about what I want. I always thought that a person can be happy if he/she has a good job, interesting relationships, friends and simply time to live. But now I don't know. Job is exhausting, relationships just don't click, time tends to slip away, Friends? Some are still here and I am grateful. Some slipped away and I don't even care.

Of course autumn has some impact on my dreadful mood. It's as always cold and gray without the light in the end of the tunnel. 

I just want everything to be easy and light but it seems like I just can't see anything in that way. It becomes more possible in summer and spring but in this cold darkness.. Never.

I want to go somewhere where is light, blue sky, vast green fields, sea and this infinite freedom. 

And I want to stop meeting the wrong people because one day I'll just loose the ability to even believe in the existence of the right ones.