i'm alone.
practically, i'd become lonely when i'd started to think a lot about this fukin life.

lonelyness.. is it a bodom of lonely wolves like me?
im much alike diexa in this situation...
but.. something goes wrong.
i don't see where could i find a power to be alone anymore..
it seems i become weak and powerless =/
am i old?..

and one more period of demotivation.
ohhh how do i hate demotivation..
but it was my own mistake, i should think about it before planing my closest future life.
now i have no future at all.
but from the other side - i have nothing to lose now. and im not afraid of death again.

but anyway now this pain is inside me.
i know i'll pass it like i'd passed it before.
but holyshit, how much will i do the same mistakes?

ehhhh..
and one more shit
i'd noticed that ppl write in their diaries only when they feel pain or when there are a lot of positive emotions but they have no one to tell about it..
and ppl never talk about life when everything is ok.
but if something goes wrong they're glad to speak about..
why? =/


i wanna fly way somewhere very far from here
but now i'll stand up and go to to work on the factory.
becoz so is this cruel world.

i should imagine new motivation and everything will be ok, but what motivation should i choose?
what life goal?
i have no one..
gimme an advice somebody....

PS
tanok, put a smile here if u read this achinea)
sure, u understand me, loox like u hav the same trouble