Two guys meet after not having seen each other for many many years.
First guy asks the second guy, "How have things been going?"
The second guy speaking very S L O W L Y tells the first guy, "I was almost married"
The first guy says in amazement "Hey; you don't stutter any more."
The answer comes, " Yes, well I went to the doctor and he told me that if I spoke s l o w l y I wouldn’t stutter."
The first friend congratulates him and than asks again about how he "was almost married".
"Well, my fiancee and I were sitting on the sofa and the dog was scratching his back and I said to her that when we are married she could do that for me - and that’s when she threw the ring in my face”
"Why should she throw the ring in your face for that?" asks the first friend.

"Well I speak so slowly that by the time she turned round to look at the dog...... he was licking his balls”