The Moral of Auntie Sharon

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: To get their
parent to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their
stories.

Ashley said, 'My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg-laying
hens. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the
front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the
eggs got broken.'

'What's the morale of that story?' asked the teacher.

'Don't put all your eggs in one basket!' 'Very good,' said the
teacher.

Next little Sarah raised her hand and said, 'Our family are farmers
too. But we raise chickens for the meat market. One day we had a
dozen
eggs, but when they hatched
we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, 'Don't
count your chickens before they're hatched'.' 'That was a fine story
Sarah.'

Michael, do you have a story to share?'

'Yes. My daddy told me this story about my Aunty Sharon. Aunty Sharon
was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got
hit.
She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a bottle
of whisky, a machine gun and a machete. She drank the whiskey on the
way down so it wouldn't break and then she landed right in the middle
of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun
until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the
machete until the blade broke. And then she killed the last ten with
her bare hands.'

'Good heavens,' said the horrified teacher, 'what kind of moral did
your daddy tell you from that horrible story?'
'Stay the hell away from Aunty Sharon when she's been drinking.'