A Woman's Rule of Thumb: If it has tires or testicles, you're going to have trouble with it.
(Women's restroom - Dick's Last Resort: Dallas , Texas )

At the feast of ego, everyone leaves hungry.
(Bentley's House of Coffee and Tea: Tucson , Arizona )

Beauty is only a light switch away.
(Perkins Library - Duke University : Durham , North Carolina .)

Don't trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die.
(Men's restroom - Murphy's: Champaign , IL .)

Express Lane: Five beers or less.
(Sign over one of the urinals - Ed Debevic's: Phoenix , AZ. )

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
(The Bayou: Baton Rouge , Louisiana .)

God is dead. - Nietzsche
Nietzsche is dead. - God
(The Tombs Restaurant: Washington , D.C. )

God made pot. Man made beer. Who do you trust?
(The Irish Times: Washington , D.C. )

If Bush were captain of the Titanic, he'd say we were stopping for ice.
(Smoky Joe's - Philadelphia , PA. )

If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted and have the time of our lives.
(Armand's Pizza - Washington , D.C. )

If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress? CONGRESS!
(Men's restroom - House of Representatives: Washington , D.C. )

If voting could really change things, it would be illegal.
(Revolution Books: New York , New York )

It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
(Written in the dust on the back of a bus: Wickenburg , Arizona )

I've decided that to raise my grades I must lower my standards.
(Houghton Library - Harvard University : Cambridge , Massachusetts .)

JESUS SAVES! But wouldn't it be better if he had invested?
(Men's restroom - American University : Washington , D.C. )
Make love, not war. Hell, do both, get married!
(Women's restroom - The Filling Station: Bozeman , Montana )

No matter how good she looks, some other guy is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.
(Men's Room - Linda's Bar and Grill: Chapel Hill , North Carolina .)

No wonder you always go home alone.
(Sign over mirror in Men's restroom - Ed Debevic's: Beverly Hills , CA .)

Remember, it's not "How high are you?" - it's "Hi, how are you?"
(Rest stop off Route 81, WV.)

The best way to a man's heart is to saw his breast plate open.
(Women's restroom - Murphy's: Champaign , IL .)

To do is to be. - Descartes
To be is to do. - Voltaire
Do be do be do. - Frank Sinatra
(Men's restroom - Greasewood Flats: Scottsdale , Arizona )

What are you looking on the wall for? The joke’s in your hands.
(Men's rest room - Lynagh's: Lexington , KY. )

You're too good for him.
(Sign over mirror in Women's restroom - Ed Debevic's: Beverly Hills , CA .)