I ...am very confused...
Everyday i feel myself like addicted girl ...
Either euphoria and happiness, or just depression and sadness...
You know i wrote before we decided to marry with Randy..and i was so happy ...and had a lot of plans, party ...wedding dress...rings..
This day ruined all my plans((Today I was at the church..to set the date of my wedding..after all questions were answered...even I managed to do this without marriage certificate..we began to set the date...
And...on daddy's vacation we cannt do this, because of damned post...you know...period, when you cannt eat meat ..and all such things..
And this period finishes on 13July...just the date when daddy is flying back( 8.45 am)...can you imagine?
And the only one way ( very expensive) us to marry is to do this at 6 am in the morning..and right after the wedding ceremony we to go straight to airport...God..i cannt still believe in this..
Am i cursed?
What did i wrong to this world?It seems like god is testing our love again..but this is painfull...to make me to dream first..and then to destroy all of my dreams..
I .. don't know what to do...
what to say to dad..
Told this to mom...so she decided not to come.
what for i have all these?
I ...I am lost..
I only hope it is possible to change fly tickets with one day later...i mean flying from here..I already don't need any party ..just want to be with my husband..after our wedding..To have our first night...
Are my dreams too big??
I dont know how daddy will react...I know he loves me..But he wanted nice wedding, party..meet my relatives..