january 2 - 2006
22:30
At night

I feel really bad ., I dont know How express it in English....I feel bad not phisical...., its pain inside me ., my heart can not stop thinking about him....

Strangely but a few years ago, even a few months ago I thought that the best life, its life When you live alone, without anybody., but now I think that I was wrong...

I used to be near him ....I used to see him and right now I feel empty I fel that my life is empty...
I know that I have to be strong, hard but its so fucking difficult, I cant do it

I know that I can not make him to come back and be near me, i can not make him to love me again..., even if I want it so much..
I can not fucking hide my fillings....
I cannot stop crying every 5 min.....i can not stop crying when i see places where we've been together before...I can not stop to remember about all our time together....Everything remind me obout him....

I never behaved like now...I always hide all my pain inside me . maybe before it was no pain, maybe right now its real pain...., pain which I can not stop
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