My new life has began... I am definitely growing up, I have to take control of everything and start re-organizing my life and take responsibility for every aspect of it. It’s hard and exciting at the same time. I spent the whole weekend along, Yuri was with Harry, so I had time to get things done in the house.. the best thing was the feeling, that I am actually always going to have time now, and I do not need to be stressed out at all. With empty living room and the feeling of space, I felt that my mind has cleared of clutter and I can finally see things clearly and I have the energy to sort it out. I managed to get through large amounts of paper and I got going with Natasha’s album again. Though at the end I did not feel very satisfied. I am looking at other ideas, and may need to re-do it again completely, it has to be something outstanding, otherwise I won’t be happy. Dinesh came on Sunday to help me hang the frames. He is so knowledgeable and so kind, he gave me lots of advise too. Again I was a bit disappointed that I chose clear frame and not frosted one.. also the long frame has two much reflection and I would have to move it, but things are progressing and that’s what matters.
Today was so good at work, only 5 hours and they went so fast! And when I came out, the sun just broke through the clouds as if it wanted to welcome me to this new life with free time during the day when the nature will be all mine to enjoy. Yuri was excited to see me, but then he had a terrible tantrum at home. I could not do anything until he went to bed, but that’s fine, as the whole purpose of this is to spend more time with him, and not tear myself apart between him and everything else. His Russian is progressing so well, he is so ego to learn the words and the letters, we spend about an hour playing, he loves it. He still has a very funny foreign accent, and he always confuses gender and tenses, it’s such a hard language, but he is willing to speak. I am delighted that my plan has worked – power of my thinking is yielding results yet again.
Out TV does not work – so I have no clue what’s going on in the world. I am feeling impatient to get some furniture.. I know I need to check what I can afford first. One part of me is being cautious, and the other is saying that I will have enough money and should not worry. Which one will win?
The heating is working again thanks to Dinesh, it was so silly of me not to check the thermostat.
I have to learn to live on my own, and I will make this home beautiful and it will be wonderful to be in it. I am getting used to the space now, it no longer feels empty.
I also need to break the old habits that Harry imposed on me, on how to handle my clothes, how to cook, clean, etc. I need to re-discover who I am and have a fresh start. I’ve got the green light!
Sam keeping sending me texts at least once a week, he does not want me to forget him? I actually stopped thinking about him. I cannot get distracted right now. Just need to cheer up a tiny bit more.
Day off tomorrow, need a good sleep and will be good as new again!