It's been so busy that I had slipped a week of my records. Would need to be brief today, as seriously lacking time.
Main point is that my mental fatigue has accumulated to the level where I feel I have no more resources left. Harry managed to "get to me", he has used every possible weapon to make me feel bad about myself. And he is equally manipulating Yuri in a very disgusting way (like on a day when I was very tired and did not want to give him a bath, he would say to Yuri "mommy hates you, mommy is bad"). I am constantly and constantly being criticized and blamed, and I can not take it any longer. I know that he is only doing it because he wants to feel that he can still control my emotions.. I know he wants a reaction, and he gets it... But I am too tired of all this, and my energy is running low. I had a sleepless night because of all that before Natasha's wedding, and therefore was so tired that day, that I could hardly enjoy it, I really struggled. The wedding was lovely though, really well organized. I arrived without any problems and found Natasha in a room with all the girls. She was breathtakingly beautiful! We had some time alone while all the ladies went off to have some food, I took some photographs of her there. Then all of a sudden everyone arrived and they had a simple civil ceremony with the ring exchange right there in that classroom.
Then her sisters brought a bit of food, but it was time to go...We entered the big room (temple), and everyone had to queue up to put some money in the "money box" and then bow. After that I sat down with all the women on the left side of the room. I could not understand anything at all, but it was quite soothing listening to the priest. Then bride and groom had to walk 4 times round the alter, and that made them married to each other. Natasha seemed very frail when she was walking, I thought she was very emotional and almost ready to faint. Gill was super confident and chilled out all the way. He looked very impressive with a big turban and a beard. After the ceremony there was a speech about the school, and everyone went off to donate money. And then all the guests queued up to congratulate the new weds and give them money.
When all was over, I went to the reception venue with Natasha's family. Natasha realised she lost her ankle jewellery, and she was very upset, as it was given by her grandma. But apart from that all went really well. Her sisters went to change into the party outfits, while we waited for Gill, who also had to change and get his beard shaven off. When he arrived, they made an entrance into the reception hall. Straight into cutting the cake, which followed by the first dance and then the party started. Loud music and fast dancing followed non stop after that till 17:30. If I was not so tired, I would have enjoyed it even more, but even in my state, I did dance quite a lot and took lots of pictures of everyone. Natasha was so happy, and she was acting like a queen, very graceful, it was a pleasure watching her. And I danced with her sisters, and her friend Shandy, and other ladies, who I did not know but who were friendly and smiles in return to my smiles. Overall it was a very good experience. I did watch the professional photographer, I think he was annoyed by my presence and the fact that I was taking picture at the same time as him, and even more than him. We had a quick chat at the end, he told me he's been doing it for 10 years, and "it pays the bills", I was really turned off..I feel most excited when I am taking pictures, and for his it's "just a job", I hope I will never think that way even after many years of doing photography.
Journey back again was full of troubles, trains were cancelled. The only advantage of a very long wait at the station was the fact that I could catch up with everyone, and confirm arrangements for next weekend.
At least next weekend I will not be dependant on Harry, and I will enjoy it much more as I won't have to stress out.

Apart from the above, Saturday was a lovely day. Lunch and a boat ride with Nicola, really enjoyable time with them. And then Henley with Stef and the kids, again, nice time outdoors. And if Yuri did not have a big tantrum at the end, it would have been just perfect. Stef kindly agreed to take car of Yuri next week, I am very lucky!

Can't remember much of last week anymore. We went to see Marianne on Thursday night.. And the rest is kind of vanished from my memory. The weekend before we were at Andrei's on Sunday, which was nice as usual. I told them about the divorce, it came as a big surprise to them. Last Saturday I did a photo-shoot at Carolyn's, it went well, but she did not like the pictures, and also thought that I re-touched them too much. She commented that backgrounds were not chosen well, I tried to explain that I was concentrating on her, as I know I can change things around in Photoshop, but I don't think she really understood. I was a bit upset about it I think, but I am over it now. I learn from every mistake, and every feedback will help me to be successful.
I have only two weekends left before my big break from Harry, and both weekends I will be away most of the time, so will minimize seeing him as much as possible.