Harry is trying hard to confuse me; he is acting as a very loving and caring man. And he keeps brainwashing me, and begging me to “let him love me…” I think he does not realise how ridiculous he is, as he had me and my love for many years, but did not give any love in return, but now when I finally do not want to do anything with him, he decided to “make up” for all that lost time. He keeps saying how much he loves me and how much he is sorry that he has hurt me so badly.
It bothers me, I wish he was just the way he’s always been. What’s the point being so nice, when it’s already too late? I feel very uncomfortable when he hugs and kisses me, and when he is expecting some kind of warmth in return. On the positive side, his relationship with Yuri seemed to have improved, and they are spending a lot more time together : counting learning colours and paining. He is also behaving much better then before, though on Saturday he went back to his old ways, and then spent all evening apologizing and asking for understanding and forgiveness. Yesterday he went to a work meeting in London, so I had a very peaceful morning with Yuri. I had enough time to get ready for my guests, and we even popped down to see Sophie for a cup of tea. Andrei, Tamara, Claire and girls came around 1pm. And they stayed quite late, think must have been after 7 when they went home. Harry came after 5. And to my big surprise after they left he did not start the usual torture and complaining. He helped to tidy up, and did not make any comments neither about the mess, nor about them staying so late. It really was nice that he was just normal, and he seemed to have enjoyed playing with the girls and chatting with Andrei and Clair. I was quite tired at the end of the day, but it really was lovely. I am so glad that Yuri did feel more comfortable at the end, and that they had so much fun together with the girls and really got along well.

I am very excited about the photography course next week… Just keeping my fingers crossed that all will go well. Deborah has warned me today that Joe has a chicken pox, and Yuri might have caught it from him last week. I am hoping for the best.

I’ve been having very vivid and very happy dreams again lately. I am always in love with someone… may be that’s why I always wish I could sleep longer?

Still not in the best of moods, kind of mentally preparing for the battle which will start when Harry will receive the divorce papers. I have to stay strong and not let him confuse me.