I’ve had a week’s gap in my writing, and now need to catch up. Don’t know what to start with, it’s been a very busy and eventful week.
Last weekend I had Steph A over for lunch.. it was great, she got me absolutely gorgeous flowers (lilies) and I am enjoying them all week. She told me the touching story of her boyfriend kissing another girl.. I would have never though this could happen to her, such a great couple.. but life is full of surprises. We had really interesting conversations, while Yuri was asleep for 3.5 hours! One thing Steph shared with me that the gossips reached Cyntergy, and Claire asked her “how my divorce is going”.. I have to ask Alex, who she talked to and what did she say, as this is getting a little out of hand, the divorce have not even started, but “broken telephone” is already spreading the news around. Wonder what Harry’s reaction would be if he hears about this!
The rest of that day I spend with Stef and Steve, and as usual it was very nice, and boys played together. At the end we all played Pictionary, and Yuri totally impressed my with the number of words that he knows and things that he could guess. It was very funny, when almost anything was “airplane” for him, we had a really good laugh all together.
Sunday was a quiet day, which was good. On Monday my busy 3-day holiday started.
I went to Waitrose first thing in the morning after dropping Yuri. The weather was terrible, so it was well justified to go by car. The car park was empty, o it was not hard at all to find an easy spot. My fear of supermarket car parks now seems well exaggerated, I know I can do it now! After the shopping I went to see the nursery school behind our house… It seems really small, and there is no room for children to sleep. Yuri’s current nursery is 100% better.. I then went to Reading for my appointment with Buchra and Sue – my new outreach worker. We have spent about ah hour together, and discussed my situation, and options. They have confirmed that I can go to a refuge, but only if I quit my job. They strive for total confidentiality, and can not compromise it by allowing the possibility of him following me from work to the refuge. So I have an option “if the worse comes to worse”, and if this is going to happen, I will leave my job. Though this is the last resort, if this is meant to happen it, will, but first I will try other options. Both ladies, for so nice and understanding, I almost cried at one point, I was loosing control, and sadness about the past was hitting me again, but I managed to regain control. I returned on Wednesday and spent ah hour with the solicitor, I liked her much more than Rey. She also insisted that I should try to kick Harry out, though she agree that the courts may not grant the Occupation order, as there has to be some very serious evidence of violent behaviour. Anyways, I have a way out and this is the main thing.

The rest of the Monday I have spent running around the shops and having a hair-cut (which turned out very disappointing, but I am not going to grieve about it too much).
Tuesday morning I took for with Deborah and did good 3 hours of driving. She is really a great instructor and a very good person, I was very lucky that I met her. She was very supporting and encouraging to me. I know I was not always driving perfectly, but she said that I am fine, and she does not see any problems with my driving, she agreed that I am lacking confidence, and need practice. After driving to Heathrow, we returned to Twyford, and then went to Camay’s place. It was not difficult at all. I now know how to get to my escape place! We had a cup of tea, and a good chat and laugh together, we both encouraged Camay to learn to drive.
I came home just in time to cook lunch for Sophie. She came just after 1pm, and we had a very good time. She is a very lovely person. I had to tell her some of the things about my situation (as otherwise my excuses would no longer make sense). She was very supportive, and very understanding.. I got to know her much more, and there is a very good connection between us, I would love to stay friends with her.
When she left, I shoot off back to Reading and managed to do a few very quick and successful purchases, so I finished with all the shopping – great relief!
On Wednesday morning I went to see the play in the nursery. It was very touching, and the children did so well, costumes were beautiful. Yuri was not performing, and he was sitting in the corner with other younger children, I could not even see him. But when occasionally I was able to catch a glance of him, and he also saw me, he have me the happiest smile ever! I really enjoyed the play.. and the after the solicitor’s appointment I went to Hayes and passed my britishness test there. I am now eligible to ask for British citizenship – reaching my goal is just a few months away now… I am very happy…
Harry has not been great lately, and yesterday he announced that he has lost his job. I am not sure what will happen now, but at least I know that if things get worse, I have a way out…another 5 days at work and I’ll be going home. I am positive about the New Year, I think it will be even better than 2006.
Work has been quiet today, and I am lacking motivation. Holiday mood is spreading around already.