Why do holidays always end so quickly? You wait and wait, and then before you know it, it’s all over?
Never mind, at least this time it was very happy and eventful. I am already beginning to forget everything that I did, so will try to put my notes down before all memories start fading away.
The flight there was quite smooth. Though just before the flight Yuri really tested my nerves, he was throwing the most unbelievable tantrums while we were queuing up to check-in.. it was embarrassing, but what could I do? We arrived 3 hours before the flight, and there was already so many people there! The security checks were severe, but I was prepared, and had no troubles at all… Once we have checked in and had some snacks in the coffee shop, Yuri has cheered up, and he was playing happily in the waiting hall before we boarded the plane. A women suggested to help me just before we boarded the plane, and we ended up swapping places in order to sit together, and chatted away almost all night, while Yuri slept peacefully in my arms.
Her name was Lyudmila, and she told me her whole life story.. and it was very interesting – better than reading a book! Single mother, she had her baby in Portugal and met her future English husband there… she was very open, and gave me lots of details about her private life.. very sad in many ways, but she is a very positive person, striving to move forward and achieve something in her life. I left my telephone number to her in case she needs any help in the UK…
We arrived on time and came out so quickly that we had to wait for Favad, who came on time at 6am. He took us home, I was surprised by the amount of traffic that early in the morning, Moscow is another city that does not sleep. It looked more cheerful than in April though, not as grey and gloomy.
Everyone at home was awake and waiting for us. We had some tea and cakes and it was all a very happy reunion! But I desperately needed sleep, so I went to bed, and so did Yuri. Saturday was mainly about getting some rest… and I managed to get some sleep and feel “human” again. We went out for a walk too, the weather was just perfect and everything around looked bright and happy.
Tanya’s baby was so lovely! But Yuri was terribly jealous whenever I took her in my arms… he is so possessive, my little boy. He got on very well with my mom’s friend Ira, it was nice to see them interacting… but Yuri would not leave my side, though he recognised the place straight away. He kept holding me, and he would always demand my attention.

Sunday was a big family reunion day. We placed the food order in Utkonos on Saturday night and went to pick it up on Sunday morning. I took the responsibility for cooking off my mother this time. Still she decided to do the meat (from Madina), and we did all the rest with Tanya. So we went to pick it up with my father, my sister and Yuri… and then everything was ready, but my father confused everything after talking with Madina over the phone and the first guest arrived at 5pm instead of 2pm. So we spent long 3 hours waiting at home. Our neighbour Lena came with her little boy, and we chatted and played with the kids… finally my cousin arrived, and after that Madina and Polina came too and we all sat down around the table. Lena wanted to be the centre of attention, and she got frustrated with Madina and my mother’s constant interruptions. I was hoping to hear Polina talking (my sister told me so much about her and about her studies of numerology), but she hardly stood a chance…
Still we had a few good laughs, and I found Lena’s stories about her yoga and newly discovered spirituality very interesting. Many things were corresponding to what I’ve been recently reading and thinking, so I could very much relate to it… The main focus of celebration was the new addition to the family… I was not much in the picture, and was a little surprised that Lena has not asked me one single question during the whole evening. I sat there and listened to everyone, I do not mind this role, especially when I am around people who need to take the lead in talking. My mother got upset about girls ridiculing her about her beliefs that cheap soviet wine is just as good as the French wines, my mom is really funny sometimes when she is very stubborn in her convictions.

Overall is was a good evening, though I felt more like an observer rather than a participant.
The next day, we took it easy and went for a walk again. While Yuri was asleep I took off and went to a big book shop. I chose the wrong time… It was the beginning of the peak hour – it was terrifying. I was stuck in the big hot sweaty crowd of people waiting to get on an escalator, those ten minutes seemed like an eternity… on the way back it was even worth. I was exhausted from travelling on the tube… and I did not envy those people who had to do it after the working day. I felt blessed that I found a way to escape from this city and life style.
I got lots of books for myself and Yuri, and I was very happy about it!

On Tuesday we had Larissa and Glen visiting us. Again I cooked, and they arrived at a good time, so we could chat while Yuri was asleep. It was lovely to see them, but conversations were very general, and we had to speak Russian, as my father was with us, and would not leave… so Glen looked a bit “out”, hopefully he could at least follow the conversations.… They brought very beautiful and thoughtful presents, and Larissa was her sweet and wonderful self. We agreed to meet one more time tete-a- tete, in order to be able to talk about personal things.

We had to go the OVIR in the afternoon with my mother, to submit papers for my new passport, so Larissa and Glen went out for a walk…We found each other outside after that, and my father joined with Yuri when he woke up. The weather was absolutely beautiful!

When they left we went for a walk again, and then Olga arrived. I did not want to ask her anything this time, I was determined.. but she started herself.. she said to me that I was angry and had devils inside, and she said that it’s affecting Yuri… She started chasing them away from both of us… I did not feel anything at all. But when she finished, Yuri was remarkably more relaxed. He rushed into the room and started kissing little Ira, and he was smiling a lot more and showing his affection to everyone. Then suddenly he had a big very loose poo, and Olga said that it’s because all evil is being cleared out from his body.. She told me that I should not be angry, that it’s very bad for Yuri…
I had been very calm during the entire holidays.. really calm. And I was unable to think about Harry or our problems… it was unexpected, but I think it was a good thing. Only once I got annoyed at my father (when he went into the room where Yuri was sleeping to show Glen the view from the balcony), but for the rest of the time I was observing other people’s irrational anger… calmly and with conclusions that I can apply to myself.

On Wednesday we had a quiet morning. It started to rain, so we stayed home, and then we went to the local beauty saloon for pedicure that was booked a couple of months before.. my sister did it first and I was after her.. It was an interesting experience, first time! The room was very basic, and I did not speak to the women who worked on my feet, I just sat there and read a magazine. The feet looked great after that! I also stayed on and had a hair cut, just as well. As I was coming out, my mother came with Yuri, and we walked home together.
In the evening I called my friend Larisa (neighbour) and she came over… we had some wine and some snacks and ended up chatting till almost midnight. It was great fun, we have not seen each other in 5 years! She opened her own business in the meantime, and is leading a life of a busy and successful young women.
I was tired the next day, but I did not regret it!

On Thursday I went to see Oksana, and again it was a very happy encounter… another friend who I have not seen in 5 years. Her both daughters were there, and our children played together… It was a very enjoyable day.
Yuri was very excited about riding on the tube, and also about all the new toys he got to discover, and about a beautiful 5 year-old girl who played with him, made him laugh and hugged him!

Friday was long and tiring, the weather was not good and Yuri was very grumpy and did not want to let me do anything. I was tired of him at the end…and I was glad that my parents wanted me to go and leave Yuri with them. I had two exciting days ahead of me!

On Saturday we met up with Madina and had lunch in “Propaganda” one of those popular nice places in Moscow that you would only know if you live there. Food was great and not expensive, and the atmosphere was very pleasant with a lot of character.
We had some Chilean wine, and chatted away about everything. After lunch we went for a long walk (it was the “day of the city” – and there were many people attending concerts on the Red square and on major streets), and then had another drink in one of those new coffee houses that recently opened all over Moscow and have extortionate prices and slow service.

In the evening we went to see Larissa’s (neighbour) place and met her daughter, who impressed both Tanya and me by her beauty and graceful manners. They had a little kitty cat, and Yuri was very excited, though a little scared (as he is now of all animals).

On Sunday we had a coffee with Larissa in Philippovskaya, beautiful coffee place in the central city…it was way too short but we exchanged the main news, it’s clearly not all easy in our lives at this moment.
After that I rushed to Baltchug… Lunch with Elena was clearly the highlight of my trip.. I was treated like royalty! Gorgeous restaurant with the river and Kremlin views, champagne, caviar, delicious seafood and all sorts of temptations on the buffet tables.
Live music was playing and we were just chatting away about everything.
Before lunch I had a chance to see a few rooms, some old style ones and some newly renovated, with futuristic contemporary style… It was very interesting, I love being inside hotels – this is something I do miss in my current job.
At the end of the lunch Elena introduced me to the general manager, I was already a little drunk and mumbled something about building strong relationships…luckily we did not have to talk for long.
Time went really fast and I realised I was going to be late for meeting Lena B. I quickly said good bye and rushed off. I was about 10 minutes late (the first time in Mocsow, and this time Lena B was on time! Ironically all others were late while for our meeting while I was on time.. Time is just different in Moscow, 15 minutes is acceptable, and 30 minutes is still within the norm.. but I hate being even 1 minute late…). I suggested to have a look at the new Hyatt Hotel (my other client). I’ve heard about the bar on top with a nice view, so we went straight there and took the lift to the 10th floor bar. It was still warm enough to sit outside… we had the view onto the Red square right in front of us, and also some cranes and scaffolding – lots of construction work is happening in central Moscow. When we looked at the prices, it was a total shock, 15 pounds for a non-alcoholic drink? Is it a joke? At the same time, I felt like I wanted dream life to last a little longer, and I told Lena that I’ll get the drinks.. so we stayed, and we chatted there and enjoyed the view. I found that though she has not changed, she was tired… she was expressing no emotions. She is still critical of everything and everyone, and this has been as amusing as usual.
She decided to accompany me to my tube station, and ended up coming over for a cup of tea. She stayed for a couple of hours at the end. She gave some good advice to my sister on breastfeeding and other baby-related experiences… but again she has shown no emotion on anything… not even on Tanya’a baby…
We cancelled meeting up with Larissa (neighbour), as it was getting late.

The last day I went to the International post office with my mom, to get some gifts. There was not much choice, and prices have increased since the times I used to buy presents for friends. My mother went back, and I continued on the trolleybus towards Polyanka. I managed to exchange the book with missing pages without too much trouble, and got 2 more books (one for me and one for Tanya). I then headed to Yulia’s place… It was a very nice encounter, and time together went too fast. She was disappointed when I had to go. I met her two sons – they are so big! I was impressed by Yulia’s philosophy of acceptance of difficulties and gratitude for the good things she has in life. They have a very beautiful apartment, and she really at the top end of the society. But she remains very humble and simple… still very religious too. She confessed that her husband is also abusive when he drinks, but she has learned to live with it…Sometimes I feel that abusive behaviours are more of a norm rather than an exception – there are examples of it everywhere.

I stopped by Kolomenskoye on my way back and got a couple more souvenirs. The sun suddenly came out and it felt so warm… It was very quiet in peaceful in the park, I love this place so much. That was our only regret – Tanya and me did not manage to come and spend a day there.
When I got home, and as soon as Yuri woke up, we went out for a walk. My father wanted to get some presents for Yuri, so we went into the children’s shop and selected a few toys.. I felt a little odd, as my father does not really have any money, but he really wanted to buy something, and I knew he did not care about the money at all. We all helped picking presents, and it was fun.

Then we continued to the river-side, and we took more “last minute” pictures of each other. Ira was crying at times, so we had to go back, though Yuri really did not want to go.
That evening we finally all gathered together around the table, to celebrate everything: my arrival as well as departure, everyone’s birthdays and everything else we could think of. At the end we sang songs, and Yuri was dancing and shaking his head….

My trip back was very smooth…Mom went with us to the airport and it was nice to have that extra time with her…Yuri slept most of the flight and behaved himself after waking up (unlike other children on the plane).
I did not sleep and was extremely tired when we got back.
When Harry came home, Yuri got so excited. I can’t recall ever seeing him that happy.. I watched them playing and laughing with some kind of sad fascination mixed with a very warm feeling of being deeply touched. I am not sure what I was thinking…. My thinking processes seemed to have become very slow, reflecting the calmness that has settled in my heart…

There have been so many moments that I wish I could just stop and re-live again.
Our walks with Tanya, or just sitting and watching our children together.
Singing songs for Yuri with my father every day.. I loved every second of it, and Yuri has been so joyful and so expressive when the music played. He moved and even tried to sing along… When a song stopped, he pointed his finger at my father – ordering him to keep playing…
I was glad when Yuri overcame the fear of my father, and started communicating with him again.
I was sad to see how competitive the society has become and how everyone is judged and compared with each other by how much material wealth they have accumulated.
I am glad I found a way out and do not have to be part of this society.
Anyways, holidays are over and I am back to reality.