I hope that you read all of this before turning away. It has been difficult for me to talk to you through all this, though that has nothing to do with you or the things that were going on. It has everything to do with being unable to cope myself, I find it difficult to react to stress except with silliness or anger, not the most usefull ways to deal in certain situations. You may feel that I have pushed you away, this is not true. I never pushed you away, I just gave up when you stoped talking to me. To an outside observer it would seem that you burnt most of your bridges long ago, this is also false, I have allways been here if you needed to talk. I wouldnt and still wont push you. I cant do that, its not in my make up to force someone to talk I will wait for them. I suppose im just not good at conversation. However the fact still stands that I do care for you, and I am here (cept when im out :) ). I have always been up for a chat but felt that you didnt want to talk to me. Hopefully this will clear up what I percieve to be a miscommunication on my part.
I am writing this here as I lack the confidance to say it to your face. As I said I'm just useless at communication.