Оригинал - http://www.fleetmack.com/rants/trees.htm

Творения в My Mind довольно забавные...


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Save the trees, kill the animals

by Bryan Mack

10-22-02

Hippies really suck. Aspects of hippies are cool, don't get me wrong. TieDye shirts, Pink Floyd, Volkswagon vans - sure, these are cool. But man, they reek and say we need to "save the trees". They are partially right, we do need to save the trees - but not using wood as a resource is not the answer. We need buildings, we need furniture, we need paper - all of these are derived from trees. So yes - we need to cut down the trees and use them, but you know how we can save the trees? Kill the animals!

That's right - we need to start killing more animals in an effort to save the trees. There is nothing wrong with a bulldozer going out and plowing down an acre of trees if the result is lumber for my home, paper for my office to use, and furniture to make my house livable. Now why do you hippies think that is so wrong? In fact - the place where I bought all my furniture from is Oak Express. Do you realize that they actually plant trees? They aren't going out just selling wood they chop down - they sell it then re-plant it. So while they are using resources, they are replenishing them as well. Hell, I have even planted trees before - so I help the environment.

Now let's look at it this way - a beaver is walking through the forest and sees a tree. "Hmmm", says the Beaver, "I think i'll knaw on this beast until it falls down." Sure enough, within a matter of minutes - TIMBER!!! Down comes the tree. Not only has the beaver just knocked down a tree, but he now drags it into the water to build a home out of. Now - don't get me wrong, I did say earlier it is ok to build a home out of wood - but explain this to me. How come he gets a home in the middle of the river and moves every year - actually, several times each year. He just knaws down trees, drags them into the river - which as a result messes up the water flow - lives there awhile, then moves and cuts down more trees. Does he plant any trees after he knocks them down? No - he just chops them down, floods the area with his dam, leaves, and plants nothing. What a selfish little prick. I hate beavers, they suck. We should kill them all - they are depleting our forrests.

You animal rights activists need to make a choice here - as the Murderdolls say .... "In 197-6-6-6 I killed an animal rights activist, because animals - THEY AIN'T GOT NO RIGHTS!!!" And as maddox says on his page - "animals are only good for eating." damn right they are. animals suck. Now if you can tell me one GOOD reason we need beavers in this world (and i mean the animal you perverted fuck) and maybe i'll reconsider this thought. But seriously - is anyone going to have a conniption if we rid the world of beavers? I think not. What has a beaver ever done for you??? We need year-round beaver hunting worldwide - nukes are allowed.

Woodpeckers really fucking suck. They drill holes in all our trees causing imperfections in the wood that might otherwise be used for my new entertainment center. Why does a woodpecker do this? I don't get it - they drill holes in wood to catch bugs and insects to eat. Hey woody woodpecker - i have news for you - it turn's out that all insects don't reside in trees. you're damn beak is making too much noise. do you see me go ruin perfectly good trees whenever i'm hungry? no - because i'm concerned for our foilage in this beautiful world. you show no respect, woodpecker. you just peck and peck and peck holes in all our trees becuase you're hungry. I think we need to starve all the woodpeckers in the world - or just shoot them, either way is fine with me. Seriously - will you miss woodpeckers? If you think they're pretty to look at, I can assure you that somebody, somewhere has a picture of one. You can look at that. Screw woodpeckers. Even cartoon woodpeckers suck. woody laughs like a jackass. man he sucks.

Does this make sense? I honestly think it does. here are some figures for you that i completely made up, but consider them facts so this may seem more convincing...

average amount of trees used by a beaver in its lifetime: 50
average amount of trees ruined by a woodpecker : 1000
average amount of trees uesd by a human in a livetime: 150
average amount of trees EVER planted by a beaver or woodpecker: 0
amount of trees I have planted in my life: 3
amount of trees planted by environmentalists yearly: countless

as you can see - the "countless" number planted by environmentalists more than makes up for my personal lack of tree planting. On the other hand - the animals just destroy destroy destroy and never give back to the environment. Fuck them and they need to die. Keep knocking down the trees - just kill the animals who think they have a right to do so as well