Going back to today's conversations, more specifically the second one (which actually happened first) with my professor. I'm pretty sure he wants me to apply, otherwise why would he keep mentioning that I can still meet this year's deadline. The thought of not making any money for the next five years is pretty scary. Although, I'm pretty sure I can still do something part time. My biggest scare is emerging at the end of the process with the feeling that I've wasted five years of my life. That's how most of Mishka's friends feel after four years of med school and not even half a year of residency. I think most of it the shock of just having a real job. Surprisingly for many of them it's the first they've ever had. Amazing how there are still ppl out there who don't start work until they're 27. And they still complain about it.