I had the weirdest dream last night. Haven't had one of those in a while. In my dream, I find out that I'm pregnant and then there's an automatic fast forward to the delivery. Next thing I know, I'm in labor in Misha's hospital. I'm actually somewhat excited about the birth of the baby but very scared at the same time. I even call my mom and tell her that I'm very scared. But I only see the first contractions and then there's another fast forward to the bris. At this point I'm in stupor and denial that I had a boy. I just refuse to admit that I had a boy and not a girl. I keep saying that there's no way I could have had a boy. I even refuse to name the child, because I refuse to acknowledge that it's a boy. I just couldn't get over it. It was so weird. I kept thinking that I'm completely insane.

Of course I've been thinking non-stop about it for the past three hours. So this is what I've come up with so far. The dream was basically my unconscious telling me what my biggest fears are about having kids and why I'm refusing to have them. My biggest fears (I think may be in this order) are to be pregnant (really not looking forward to the whole nine months thing of puking, farting and looking like a whale), labor (don't even get me started on this) and having a boy to top it all off.

Emailed my mom to tell her that I had a weird dream. She right away guessed that it was about having a baby. And then replied with this "ya tebya tak dostala chto tebe yze eto snitsya."