AUDI - Always Unsafe Designs Included

BMW - Big Money Waster

BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Compact Killer

CADILLAC - Can't Always Drive In Lanes Like Another Car

CHEVROLET - Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Valves Rap On Long
Extended Trips
- Cracked Heads, Every Valve's Rotten, Oil Leaks
Every Time

DODGE - Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater

FIAT - Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
- Fix it again, Tony!

FORD - First On Recall Day
- Found On Road, Dead

GM - Great Mistake

GMC - Got A Mechanic Coming?

HONDA - Had One, Never Did Again

HYUNDAI - Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And
Inexpensive...

JEEP - Just Eats Every Part

MAZDA - Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along

MERCEDES - Men Express Really Crazy Egos Driving Expensive
Sedans

MG - Money Guzzler

OLDSMOBILE - Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of
Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment

PLYMOUTH - Please Let Your Mother Out Under The Hood

PONTIAC - Poor Old Nigger Thinks It's A Cadillac

PORSCHE - Piece Of Retired Scrap, Continually High Expense

SAAB - Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown.

SUBARU - (backwards) U-R-A-Bus

TOYOTA - Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto

VOLVO - Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object

VW - Virtually Worthless