Please
Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I
11-10-2003 09:05
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Please
Don't be fooled by the face I wear, for I wear a thousand faces, and none of them are the real me, for I have a different face for every one I meet. I give the impression that I'm secure and confident in everything that I do, and that I need no one, but deep within me lies the truth. Deep within is where the real me lives, hiding deep inside so no one can hurt me again,
Like a child scared of the dark, I live in a corner of myself so deep within and have put up so many walls that I can't find myself any more. I've forgotten who I really am. Every time I am alone I cry a river, deep inside with frustration. There are no feelings left inside of me. Please somebody help me. I don't know how much more I can take.
I stretch out my hand for someone, anyone to help release me from this prison. But no one hears my cries. There is only the emptiness of the world I have created. When I am alone in my own little world away from prying eyes, I feel a rage deep within me, and hate, but hate for myself because it's all my fault or so I'm told. I can't stand to see what I have become.
Why don't they listen to me and try to understand and see where I'm coming from. I'm afraid that deep down I'm nothing, and that I'm just no good, and that you will see this and reject me. And so begins the many faces.
I idly chatter to you. I tell you everything that's really nothing, and nothing of what's everything, of what's crying within me. Please listen carefully and try to hear what I'm not saying. I'd really like to be genuine. But you've got to help me. You've got to hold out your hand. Each time you're kind and gentle and encouraging, each time you try to understand because you really care.
My heart begins to grow wings; very feeble wings, but wings to bring me out of the prison I've built through no fault of my own. With sincerity and kindness and your understanding, you alone can release me from this lonely world of shadows and doubts from my lonely prison. It will not be easy for you. The nearer you approach me I may strike back.
But I am told that love is stronger than strong walls, and in this lies my hope, my only hope. Please try to beat down these walls with firm hands. But gentle hands for a child lives within these walls a child that has never seen daylight, but only knows darkness. Who am I, you may wonder? I am someone you know very well. For I am every man, woman and child you will meet, from all walks of life, rich and poor. I am also you.
The Highway to Recovery
Through no fault of our own the situations that have happened in our life, through the people that have entered our life from birth, our emotions begin because we learn from the teachings that we receive from the people who we have been trusted to.
We look up to these people to protect us and keep us from harm. We did not make these emotions that live within us. It just happened now they are stored within us and causing us much pain and misery. Our life is not going anywhere It is at a standstill and has been for a long time. How we wish for change, we need to sort our feelings out and find our true selves; and only then will our life begin to move forward and the changes enter our life.
Through the emotions that have happened to us, we have built these emotional walls. It has caused blackness inside us, how we would like to break free and release ourselves from the darkness that we have made. We need to find the light switch so we can begin our journey through this emotional maze.
But where is the light switch, and if we have built walls are there any doors? And if there are, will we find the keys to open these doors, and who has these keys? There seems to be so many obstacles in the way and we have not even started our journey back yet.
Where do we start our journey to recovery so we can get through this turmoil of emotions? We have built a maze of emotional tunnels to protect ourselves. This is where we hide ourselves in our own little world. And this is the beginning; it is the first key of many. Are you ready to take that first step into the unknown, and use your second key?
If you are, then let us begin our journey and let the changes begin so we can live again and find the happiness that has eluded us for so long. It seems like an eternity now. Because it has been denied us for so long, we know there is going to be a fight like we have never known before. This fight is within us because there are inner changes to make we will have to conquer our fears. We will need courage and the strength to see this fight through to the end.
And yes, some people around us will not want us to change, because these people are the ones who made us what we are today. They took away our confidence and made us weak and frightened. But it is them that are frightened now because they know they can not push us around anymore. They are scared of what we might say and do.
We are going to change and stand up for ourselves and do something with our lives, to build a better future for ourselves and the people who really love us for who we really are. And not what we have become. because these people know that deep down their lies a child waiting to come out. And they will be there to lend a helping hand and help us on the highway to recovery.
Meditation
Through meditation we can release the emotions which have lead us to where we are in our lives now. You see emotions live in our subconscious, because of all the things that have happened to us over the years. We have unknowingly stored them in the subconscious side of the mind. Now a lot of these emotional memories we will not remember because we are not in tune with the subconscious side of our mind. Please take your time with these steps. Do one every other day. There is no need to rush this meditation. Please do as I ask of you and this will work.
The First Step
First we need to sit or lie down in a quiet place somewhere we can feel at ease making ourselves comfortable. Now close your eyes and begin to look inside your mind. You're looking for a tree that lives in the subconscious side of our mind or the imagination side of the mind as some people call it.
The Second Step
I want you to take a good look at your tree when you find it and do not worry if it has fallen over or appears to be dead. It does not matter at this stage because the tree represents you and your feelings and where you are at now in your life. It represents the way you are feeling inside yourself. And now you are going to make the changes that are needed to bring your tree back to life by dealing with your own emotions and releasing them safely because as the tree grows you will grow inwardly.
The Third Step
Now I want you to take a few steps back from your tree, and with your thoughts I would like you to say to your tree, I am going to sit down and lean my back against your trunk. When you lean against the tree you will feel a strange sensation inside yourself. It is like nothing you have felt before. It's a strange kind of emotional feeling. It's as if you and the tree are blending together becoming one.
The Fourth Step
All the emotional feelings that you have live deep inside your Solar Plexus, which is the area of your stomach, which is just above the belly button. Now as you sit with your back leaning against the tree. I want you to imagine that your belly button has opened slightly, like the shutter on a camera, and suddenly a black sticky liquid has started trickling out very slowly. Seeping into the earth it's self which in turn will feed your tree. And as your tree grows so will you and your confidence will begin to grow.
TheFifth Step
As your emotions begin to come out in this black liquid form you will begin to feel sickly as if your stomach is upset. Please do not worry about this. It just means it is working. It will take time for you to free yourself of the emotions that lie deep within you, because your solar Plexus will only release so many emotional feelings at any one time. If it allowed all the emotions to come out at once you would become very ill so it is a slow process.
The Sixth Step
Now we need to take this meditation a step further onto an advanced level. This time when you visit your tree, I want you to stand by the tree and have a good look around. You should see some kind of clearing. I would like you to begin walking in the direction of the clearing. There you will find a circle made of either stones, twigs or leafs. This is what's known as the sacred circle. You're Sacred Circle I want you to step into your sacred circle and sit on the mother earth in the lotus position. Now I would like you to imagine there are two golden snakes on either side of your chest coiled up on the inside of your body with their heads facing downwards. They slowly start to uncoil moving down your body towards your root chakra, which is located at the very tip of your spine.
First Stage
When they get to the root chakra the heads of the two golden snakes come out either side of the spine and bite into the mother earth itself. They begin drawing energy up from the earth and into your body filling every square inch of your body with golden energy. By now you will feel as if you are elevating 3 or 4 inches off the ground. You will feel so light on the inside. After about five minutes you will begin to slowly float back down to the ground under your tree.
Second Stage
Once you have done this, bring the heads of the golden snakes back into your body. They will now begin to move into your solar plexus chakra area. Where they will begin to help clear any emotions that are still within you by feeding off them. I would like you to do this meditation two times a week only please. Meditation
Tree of Life
Meditation
This is a very old meditation dating back to the times of Atlantis it was taught to me by one of my spirit teachers. For this meditation you will need to make yourself comfortable, either by lying down on a bed or sitting in an armchair. The first thing that I would like you to do is take three deep breaths. Now close your eyes and make your way to your tree, once you get to the tree I would like you to just listen to the different sounds that you can hear for a few minutes.
Step One
You can hear the sound of a waterfall near by; I would like you to set off in the direction from where the sound of the waterfall is coming from. As you approach the waterfall you can see a large lake with trees and shrubs all around the edge of the lake. First of all I would like you to stand by the tree at the edge of the lake and just lean against the tree and close your eyes .You can hear the birds singing, you can feel the warm sun and the gentle breeze upon your face. The sound of the water moving against the embankment, You can smell the beautiful fragrances of the different types of shrubs and wild flowers. You can hear the sound of the wind blowing through the trees.
Step Two
When you are ready I would like you to walk along the edge of the water and begin to feel the water under your feet. The water feels so refreshing as you make your way to the waterfall. You are feeling calmer and slightly relaxed it's as if you are in a daydream. When you get to the waterfall I would like you to stand under it and let the water run all over your body. You should start to feel strange as if you are being given new life energy. Please stay there for as long as you like and just let any negativity that is around you just wash away
Step Three
Now for the last part of this basic meditation I would like you to begin to walk towards the center of the of the lake. As you walk further out into the lake the water will go over your head. Please do not worry about this because no harm can come to you. As you walk on the bottom of the lake you will see in front of you what appears to be a force field or barrier. The water on the other side of the barrier is quite rough this is because the area you are looking at is known as the sea emotions. Now all I want you to do is open your heart chakra, solar-plexus chakra and the sacral chakra. The emotions that live in these three chakras will start to come out and be drawn to the other side of the barrier. You may feel slightly sick when you do this meditation for the first few times. But of all the people who have tried this basic type of meditation we have had good results.
Also we would be grateful if we could have some feedback, to see your opinion on these meditation and to tell us how you are getting on with the meditation and what is happening to you. And if you have any problems please tell us so that we may help you. All information received is strictly confidential we do not keep records all the people who come to us for what ever reason do so because they have been recommended to us
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