The Iraqi Ambassador to the UN has just finished giving a speech, and walks out into the lobby where he meets President Bush. They shake hands and, after a brief chat about world affairs, the Iraqi says, "I have a question that I think perhaps you can answer."
President Bush says, "Well, I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I'll do my best."
The Iraqi ambassador continues, "My son watches this show 'Star Trek' and in it there are Russians, Blacks and Asians, but never any Arabs. He is very upset. He doesn't understand why there are never any Arabs in Star Trek."
President Bush laughs, leans toward the Iraqi, and whispers, "It's because it takes place in the future...."

Bush, Blair and Chiraq in a hot tub, a beeper goes off. Bush shuts it off by touching his forearm.
Bush: That's my implanted beeper. I have a message.
A phone rings and Blair lifts his hand to his ear.
Blair: That's my phone. I have an implanted telecommunications chip.
Feeling foolish about his lack of importance and technology Chiraq leaves the hot tub and comes back with toilet paper hanging from his butt.
Chiraq: Mon ami! I have a fax!

An American guy is sitting in the isle seat on a plane and 2 arabs are sitting in the inside seats. At the beggining of the flight, the American man removes his shoes. The 1st arab announces he is going to get a beer. The american man tells him sit down while he goes to get the beer for him. While he is getting the beer, the 1st arab spits in one of the American's shoes. The man returns and gives him the beer. The 2nd arab announces he wants a beer too, and once again the American offers to get him a beer. While he is getting the beer, the 2nd arab man spits in his other shoe. The man returns to his seat and gives the 2nd arab his beer. At the end of the flight, the American man puts on his shoes and immidiately realizes what has happened. He calmly toward the arab men and says:
"Why must this hostility continue between Americans and arabs? This constant fighting...this spitting in shoes...this pissing in beers.."

A blonde woman sees a young boy playing in the park and decides to kidnap him and demand a ransom. Her ransom note says, "Put $10,000 in a brown paper bag underneath the oak tree in the park by 10AM tomorrow or you'll never see your son again!" Signed 'the Blonde'.
She then pins the note to the boy's jacket and sends him home. At 10 o'clock the next morning she goes to the park and finds the paper bag stuffed with 10K and a note:
"Here's your money! I can't believe one blonde would do this to another!"

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed. To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."