Настроение сейчас - some dance to forget

I felt the hair on my head slowly turning gray when I thought of the past. and of what could have been.
I felt like such a shit that I had to get out of my bed and go smoke salvia to distract myself, it always helped before. but this time it was such an idiocy. somehow it didn’t get me at all. it just didn’t work! I felt so stupid and helpless) nonetheless, the whole situation looked funny and ironic, so I felt definitely better. quod erat demonstrandum, as a matter of fact.