I realized, that my life has no sense. My thoughts and mood are like sinusoid. One period of time my life is full (though, it is never full) and I have some dreams, there are people near me who seem to be my friends and so on. But the other moments - my life is done and Iwant so much to be dead. My face is wetof tears and heart is full of sorrow and pain. It comes from inside and I can't manage it.

And I allready know, that nothing's gonna be better. Beacause it was already the beginning of the end. Of my end. So it's irreversible. And I know, that every day it's gonna be worse and worse. However pleasent it can seem to be - life is betrial.

And this time I actually understood, that it happens not to everyone, but to some group of people. Like me. We have nothing. Nothing special in this life - no talents, no beauty, no brains. Nothing what can distinguish us from the crowd. [It's in short] That's why WE aren't suppose to live. Our birth WAS a mistake.