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The Funniest Bumper Stickers...



*I fish therefore I lie
*I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha
*Chess players "mate" better
*Constipated People Don't Give A shit.
*That is so five minutes ago!!
*If you can read this, thank a teacher
*Don't mess with Texas
*I will mess with Texas
*Don't pray in my school and I won't think in your church
*If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.
*Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?
*If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.
*Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.
*If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

*My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.
*Thank You For Pot Smoking.
*To All You Virgins: Thanks For Nothing.
*If At First You Don't Succeed... Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.
*Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".
*If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.
*Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger
*It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.
*If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.
*You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me
*The Earth Is Full - Go Home
*This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me
*So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time
*Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult
*If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?
*The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name
*Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway
*Illiterate? Write For Help
*Honk If Anything Falls Off
*Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes
*He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit
*I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person
*You! Out Of The Gene Pool!
*I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To
*Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?
*If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong
*Fight Crime: Shoot Back!
*If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over... [Seen Upside Down On A Jeep]
*Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.
*Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge
*If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like Jabba The Hut?
*Necrophilia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.
*Ax Me About Ebonics
*Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel
*Boldly Going Nowhere
*Cat: The Other White Meat
*Caution - Driver Legally Blonde
*Don't Be Sexist - Bitches Hate That
*Heart Attacks ... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.
*It'll be a great day when our schools get all the money they need and the air force has to hold a bake sale to buy a bomber
*Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window
*How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He is lost
*If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.
*Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch
*Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!
*My Hockey Mom Can Beat Up Your Soccer Mom.
*GROW YOUR OWN DOPE --- PLANT A MAN.
*All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.
*Some people are only alive because it is illegal to shoot them
*I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
*WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.
*BEER: It's not just for breakfast anymore.
*o you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.
*I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?
*Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

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