Rodney Dangerfield... The great comic (R.I.P.)
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I went into a bar feeling a little depressed, the bartender said,
"What'll you have, Bud"?
I said," I don't know, surprise me".
So he showed me a nude picture of my wife.
...
I went to a wild party last night. I tell ya, it was so wild, we played
a new version of Russian roulette. We passed around six girls and one
of them had V.D.
...
If it weren't for pickpockets, I'd have no sex life at all.
...
I'm a bisexual; I get it maybe twice a year.
...
Life is having a mother-in-law that sucks and a wife that don't.
...
My mother didn't breast-feed me. She said she liked me as a friend.
...
My wife and I only smoke after sex. I've had the same pack since 1967.
She's up to three packs a day.
...
I told my kids, "Someday, you'll have kids of your own." One of them
said, "So will you."

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