''send everythin to hell''
OR
''do myself a favor''
? thats like...''to be or not to be'' ... LOL

why is it once you get somethin, you dont want it anymore? ;)



I hate when ppl do things b.c. they ''feel bad'' . . .



lol I would never get a real tattoo . . . a- duh

I tend to dramatize things 10x than they really are, da mne nujno leg4e otnositsa k jizne, that is true. & before I start convincing my self Im in love Ill ask myself a question, what if . . . ITS NOT? anyway before I start obsessin let me not take this any further w. the topic, all the rest goes in my DIARY..shh lol Im kiddin I dont really keep 1, but I guess Ill start tod. why not? but 1 thing I know for sure, I ALWAYS get my way, you know it.

I think I now understand . . .
We all want one thing, hapiness, to love & be loved, to live. Sometimes life makes you choose, between friends & best friends, crushes, bfs, & true love . . . none of the choices life gives are easy to make, I guess fate & destiny will decide for us. I guess what goes around- comes around, gotta deal with it. I guess that each one of us should decide for ourselves, whats true, & whats not, whats more important to us & what we really don't need. I dunno . . . its like every one of us is different no ones bad & no one is perfect, we all are not ideal people & make mistakes, some big, some small, some that just dont matter. I guess crying is just another way to express our emotions, whether it is love, hapiness, or sadness. I guess tears come & go . . . inside jokes are always remembered & some frienships do last forever. I guess conflicts can be resolved, I guess love is more important than money, & frienship is more important than love- in some cases. I think hate always comes from jealousy, & when people are given too much they just get used to it. I know years from now I'll laugh . . . AGAIN?

okay NOT. Because sinse the moment I woke up my day went wrong, kak s ne toi nogi vstala, Alya, ya srazu vstayu LOL!
K didn't im me lol, then me & Alya made an attempt to go to the MOMA museum but it was like overcrowded, then we went to her casa & to the movies @ like 10pm & my mom started callin me & bitchin cuz she found out we had alchohol & Alyas mom wasn't home. So she's like you better get your ass home right now. lol & so as always I call V for moral support, but he's mad, so I call SourEX lol & he's obviously not home. Then we went back to Alyas w.e. & K finally offered help but w.e. my mom came over...
The funniest thing happened we were sittin @ Alyas before all this shit happened & she's like you're not drunk yet, how much do you need? & I'm like A LOT, the next secong I was layin on her bed & I couldn't get up, but we had to leave so I was laughin the whole time we were walkin & ppl kept starin @ me, prob. cuz I couldn't walk straight. . . lol we video taped it 2 hehe
The sad part is I fell again on the same ankle I sprained while dancin, not to blame Dima or anythin but still lol I didn't fall when I was drunk but I fell before that...yeah weirdo haha.
Music oh yeah we were listenin to Photograph by Nickelback & it made me cry, reminds me of him, reminds me of summer...anyhoo
''vot eto bil ebnutiy den'. '' < said by Alya but I TOTALLY agree.

I've got to keep my feelings inside, & if I can't then I'll just have to try . . .
(Don't think bout it- you WON'T GET IT)


What do you do when you like someone but you know you really don't in fact you really don't like that person but you still do? *

hmm well all I know is I gotta bring my grades up, because everyone I meet is like freakin smart lol its pissing me off so yeah tom. is the 1st day of the new semester, now's a good time to start. ;)



My Horoscope ForToday~ ''Today it may be easier to make a clean break from some aspect of your life that is no longer serving you well. But more than leaving something behind, think about what you can pull into your life that is new. There is an exceptional depth to your attractions now and you should take your desires seriously. The potential is high for entering into a joint venture--romantic or business. Whatever you do, above all else, be honest.''''Don't let a power struggle early in the week put you in a bad mood. This is just a test to see if you can stand up for yourself without putting someone else down, which is perfect practice for a relationship. Staying strong and sweet can be your ticket to love now, Leo.''

OMG guys I have a new obsession- again, I wanna learn to play guitar ! lol I'm not crazy but I really wanna do this. N0w. . . who wants to teach me? (I'm slow learner. . . ehm) 0=)

hmm I wonder if the guy I like can play guitar lol, I don't even knw (shows just how much I know him . . . )

wow I don't know whats wrong w. my ankle because it still hurts. I was probably sleepin in an uncomfortable position because I had a dream that Dimitriy broke my foot! hahaha Asya was laughin @ that for a while...well it is funny, I mean wow how jealous do you have to be to actually break my foot. nah he wouldnn't. . . but then again no one knows =P
well anyhow I woke up in pain, guess I shouldn't have kissed my bf in front of him lol!
I wonder if people actually mean somethin by sayin ''I love you.'' ? cuz if they don't then I don't need that kind of love . . .
BTW have you guys heard the song ''Ameno'' by Era? Do any of you know what language they sing in & how to translate it? cuz I heard that its Latin, but sinse its a dead language some say it might be old Egyptian, but then again others say that its useless to translate it because they sing nonsense & its not meant to be translated. I dunno why I think ''Ameno'' means amen because their music sounds a lil like a church choir, & I actually wasn't wrong beacuse I did some reasearch & turns out their music is based on religion only they add more musical instruments to it. I love their song ''Enae Volare Mezzo'' I don't know but ''Volare'' means to fly in Italiano, in that song you also hear them say ''Cantare'' which means to sing, also in Italiano, but really its impossible to make something out of it even if you really try. I do think that their music is a lil depressin & gothic but I actually like it. *(o0hh Lena's turnin punk-!sh)* lol well me & Alya found some links so here it goes...
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfmfuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=33359541 http://home.ural.ru/~eRa/news.htm
Warning- don't listen to it before you go to sleep, I'm speaking from personal experience here. =]
u- ha ohhhh...CANTARE.....oh ..ha CANTARE u - ha . . .

yay I finally saw ''No4noi Dozor'' w. my fave actor Konstantin Habenski <3 !!!
Well it's good for the most part, I love the theme- ''good against evil.'' But like they say there's no pure good, & no pure evil, there's a lil bit of each in everything.
btw,* for those of you who have not seen The Matrix, Gladiator, Star Wars, Harry Potter . . . shall I go on? Well No4noi Dozor kinda stole a bit from each of those movies, which I think totally sux b.c. the movie is pretty good, (esp. w. him lol) but if you haven't seen all those movies, you won't even notice.
I'll prob. get the ''Dnevnoi Dozor'' book tom. so I can read it before the movie comes out, but I dunno if there's even a point to that sinse the movie is mostly all about special effects . . . oh & they're filming part 3 in Hollywood ! I'm very exited, can't wait!
What I still don't get is why ''No4noi Dozor'' is supposedly against evil & ''Dnevnoi Dozor'' is against good, I mean I'm sure it's supposed to make sense, I guess I'm just a lil slow. =]
< The evil & the good have a contract lol
< the movie is mad violent
lmfao, okay I'm done w. my movie review now,
thank you<3 L.L.<3

Maybe I'm not meant to be a dancer...
Last time dancing to ''Thriller'' by Micheal Jackson I twisted my neck & couldn't move it for like two days, & thank God I didn't break it!
Yesterday I was home alone cuz everyone eles went to the Jazz concert & I decided to practice some of my dance moves, & so I kind of jumped up & I landed really badly & twisted my ankle. =[ So I called Asya & she's like don't dramatize it, but being he drama queen that I am, I imed Sergey & he came over, so they both told me to see what happens in the morning. I just came back from the hospital & they said it's just like my muscle, nothing serious =]
It still hurts!!! =...[ the doctor was really nice though lol =D

Here's a LOT about me:

I love poetry, writing, design, photography, psychology, art, drawing, sketching, painting, singing, acting, dancing, drama,
& of course, last, but not least...music.

I know 3 (2 of them which I learned), languages which are Russian, English, & Italiano.

I am in love with... life, my family, my best friend Asya (who's my home girl from MockBa) even though we have our bad moments, which don't usually last for more than five minutes.

I was born in the center of Moscow (yeah people do like to joke about that.) Before I turned 5, & until I moved, we lived in a really old (ancient is more the word) building. Our walls were decorated with numbers of old friends & close relatives, kinda became a habit that my mom started lol. I never attended kindergarten, but I did go to pre-school, (where believe it or now, did learn a lot of cool stuff.) Now that I think back, THAT was the ''school'' that I actually enjoyed going to lol. Besides that, I loved waiting till my mom got home from work, she would always bring me something that would make any little kid happy. I had two loving grandparents, & probably the best aunt in the whole world. All of this sounds fake, & I know everyone says this, but, I have to admit I was born into a really loving family. I guess since I was (& still am) an only child, I got ALL the attention. There are many things I remember from way back, like always wanting a pet, planning on becoming a famous ballerina, my mom teaching me how to sing & dance, & many, many more. Right before I turned six, we moved to The Big Apple- New York City. I went to 1st grade, for the first time, we were renting an apartment on ave U, & the roof WAS our balcony. I remember realizing that the guy next door was apparently in all of my classes also. lol it took him a good two months to realize that too. Most of the time I spent torturing my babysitter, while my mom worked, & my dad picked my up from school. School wasn't bad, I used to love the library, haha maybe it's because the books included more pictures than words in it. The best part was planning the graduation dance, we all got to wear feathers lmao. I got pink, that made my childhood, along with being student of the month. I still have pictures from every one of those events, which I, for some reason never look at. Right after my mom sent me back to live with mt grandparents. (Which I am thankful for, now.) & so I started going to a Russian school, & couldn't speak a word in Russian, let alone read or write. So I ended up being the oldest one in the whole class, as I got used to school & new friends my grandmother made sure I never had ''too much'' free time lol. I started taking ballet classes, which I guess led to gymnastics, which ALSO lead to Latin dance classes. As if that was not enough, I also took additional science classes, & an art course. It's not that I hated any of them, I guess it was just overwhelming. I remember my gymnastics teacher her name was Lena too, so was my ballroom teacher lol. My gymnastics teacher was really young, now that I think of it, she was like 20, & she was mad pretty. I guess out of everything I pretty much started hating ballet cause in the beginning, when you just start out, EVERYTHING hurts. Then, ballroom, the teacher ALWAYS found a problem with the way I hold my arms, plus my partner was a girl lol, not enough guys, unfortunately. She was older than m, & if my memory is correct, I think her name was Anna, or Eva, some shit like that. My other grandmother made me this really pretty pink dress, & since the girl's dress was open in the back, I got the stupid number lol. Then again, no complaints here, we did get second place, actually if one of us was a guy, we would have gotten 1st. I think thats bullshit. So get this- RIGHT after the competition, my babushka goes, okay do you want to do table tennis now? I'm like ha...ha...nah. After that came my art show, in which I got in & was pretty satisfied with the results. The pieces that actually did get it, was a butterfly made out of broken glass, & a portrait of my grandmother.