What's up with all those romantic movies? They all make me so upset, I was watching Coyote Ugly today & it all just seems so unrealistic. The girl in the movie overcomes her fears thanks to her bf. She has a phobia of the one thing she loves most, she love singing. The Jersey girl gets stage fright every time she overcomes her fear of facing an audience. One time, when her tape is excepted to a club, she gets her first gig. & when the music comes on, she freezes, not surprisingly the lights go off, & she realizes that it was him, he remembered that she told him she can only sing freely in the dark. So basically, in reality, that guy would have to go backstage, find the thing that provides electricity, turn it off, & actually THINK of doing all that. I know, I know, only in movies.

Or...the typical, the girl comes home & to her surprise she sees her whole ro0m filled with different roses. They everywhere, on her bed, on the floor, in vases, on the window sill, EVERYWHERE. Of course a guy must have $ for that, & again, he would actually have to think of that first.
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One time I'll actually LEARN the words BEFORE the concert, not during.

You know those girls that always pick up the phone, when you decide to call up an old friend of yours. Well I am now one of those girls, tho I hated it when it was done to me.

If there is one thing in the world that I refuse to tolerate is disrespect. & if you mistakingly do it to me, God help you. Especially I hate when people do something on purpose, & pretend they never meant for that to happen, when in reality it was what they were aiming for all along. In those kind of cases I usually strike back, & it won't be pretty. I'll go to the fullest to show that person I have as much respect for them, as they have for me. Whether that means I'll tell the world that person's deepest, darkest secrets, or just make him lo0k like a fo0l in front of his friends.

& once again, guys, please, if you currently have a girlfriend. PLEASE, stop lo0king for trouble, stop offering help to people you barely know (especially those who don't give 2 shits about you.), & mind your own business. You have someone by your side, take care of THEM, the rest of the world will wait, or survive just as fine, W.O. your help, believe me- its possible.

& ladies, if you're dying from jealousy, make sure not to show it. If you suspect someone is after your love, pretend you don't know it. The more jealous you act, the more you show that the other girl MEANS competition, & the more your loved one sees that you consider her that, the more HE starts to think about her, & notice. So, in conclusion, jealousy will only push your bf/gf farther away from you, because, without realizing it, YOU'RE pushing them away from yourself.

В колонках играет - Sestra- Kasta.
Настроение сейчас - on top of the world.


& just for a second I actually thought I heard him say what I wanted to hear, & not because he knew that was what I wanted to hear, but because he meant it. Then again I fully understand, that in reality he was just testing me, & if I'll say yes to him. I don't like when people manipulate me into me decisions, by saying first one thing, then another. He tells me he wants something, & when I don't approve of it he says he won't do it, or will only do it with me. When he sees that made me less angry he tries to ask again if I would mind. I don't appreciate that.
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В колонках играет - Mas Que Nada- Sergio Mendes/BEP.
Настроение сейчас - hoplessly romantic

I was watching the most romantic proposal ever. She's dating a criminal & he brought her like fruits & peaches to bed. When she opened one of them, there was a rose petal, & on it was a diamond ring. The next morning when she decided to miss work, he told her to get dressed because he was obviously expecting someone. & when the doorbell rang, two people came in which he hired for them to take pictures, music, & all that stuff, for the wedding...@ home. Can you imagine? So she comes out & she was so happy that he surprised her with all of all of that. & he wanted her to keep her last name. THAT'S LOVE. (once again, no I didn't witness this, it's all on tv, unfortunatly.)

Liviu Lebrescu Is My Hero (Virginia Tech)

As Jews worldwide honored on Monday the memory of those who were murdered in the Holocaust, a 76-year-old survivor sacrificed his life to save his students in Monday's shooting at Virginia Tech College that left 32 dead and over two dozen wounded.

Professor Liviu Librescu, 76, threw himself in front of the shooter, who had attempted to enter his classroom. The Israeli mechanics and engineering lecturer was shot to death, but all the students lived - because of him.

Liviu Librescu was killed as he blocked his classroom door to keep the gunman out as students escaped out the window.

"When he heard the gunfire, he blocked the entrance and got shot through the door," his daughter-in-law Ayala Schmulevich said.

"He realized he had to save the students," she said. "That was the kind of man he was."

The hero educator was beginning a class on solid mechanics when all hell broke loose on the second floor of Norris Hall.

"It wasn't like an automatic weapon, but it was a steady 'pow,' 'pow,' 'pow,' 'pow,'" student Richard Mallalieu, 23, told The Washington Post. "We didn't know what to do at first."

The students in the class dropped to the floor and started overturning desks to hide behind as about a dozen shots rang out, he said.

Then the gunfire started coming closer. Librescu, 77, fearlessly braced himself against the door, holding it shut against the gunman in the hall, while students darted to the windows of the second-floor classroom to escape the slaughter, survivors said.

Mallalieu and most of his classmates hung out of the windows and dropped about 10 feet to bushes and grass below - but Librescu stayed behind to hold off the crazed gunman.

Alec Calhoun, 20, said the last thing he saw before he jumped from the window was Librescu, blocking the door against the madman in the hallway.

He died trying to protect the students.

Librescu taught aerospace and ocean engineering but focused much of his time on research.

He leaves a wife and two sons. His family is planning to bury him in Israel.

Professor Librescu and his wife, immigrated to Israel from Romania in 1978 and then moved to Virginia in 1985 for his sabbatical, but had stayed since then.

Thanks to his heroic effort almost the whole class has survived.


Please spread the word, among your friends, about this great man.

Don't know why I've been feeling like this lately...
Sometimes I just get pissed off that I don't have anyone who's always by my side AND ON my side. Not that I can't stand up for myself, but sometimes a lil extra someone doesn't hurt, would actually be kinda nice.
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omg I keep seeing that kotik v tramvaichike, its like people are talking to me about something serious & all that's running thro my mind is the lil black cat that takes public transportation, & walks on two FEET, for God knows what reason.
My mom's like what do you think of the movie?...Im like its scary, the kotik
is following me lmao. I'm sober, I swear.
About to watch the 2nd part haha..
But I consider it normal, to be disturbed by an overgrown cat/demon. No?
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Feeling like this really sucks, especially when you've never felt like this before. & just before writing this, I read her blog, & it basically summarized what I was about to write here. It didn't make me think ''aww we think alike'', it actually made me pretty mad. Don't like when I am somebody reminds me of myself, or when I remind myself of someone, ironically recently I did the opposite of what was just written.

This is what happens when you try to get back @ people. Everything turns against you & hits you in the face, when you least expect it. Though I know I got through tougher shit, in comparison, this is N0THING.
I always know things in the back of my mind, always, but I never let them actually get through to me, so I spend months & months lying- to myself. I know right off the bat, who wants what, & why. Honestly, right now I'm not sure of anything, w.e. happens- happens- oh well. I know I got a long life ahead of me, so I know it ain't the last time. So I'll make sure to be ready next time...

I got my 1st call back!!! wow, out of the 20 others 1s I sent lol, just like my modeling teacher told me it would be
these are the pix that I sent them:
& guys who actually knew that my dance school from 100 years ago had a website & was like worldwide lol I just thought it was a russian school then I lo0ked @ the award thingy & it said United Kingdom Alliance, so I searched lol
www.ukadance.co.uk/
I still think the jugdes were like homophobic we would have gotten 1st place if my partner wasnt a girl, hey not my fault guys dont join...but yeah I kinda included that in my resume thing but the callback from the hip hop audition still didn't call back'' lol lets hope they do hehe *exited*

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but I am thankfull for
having the best mom in the world...
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В колонках играет - some gypsy music LOL
Настроение сейчас - fckd uppp

ahhh wtf its 3am & ever sinse I woke up, exaclty an hour ago & I can't fall asleep...maybe it's the medication, I don't even know anymore.
I went to my doctor today- he said I can go to school tommorrow, he also told me not to od on the drugs lol...I'm trying not to.
...still I don't understand, I wake up in the middle of the night, my head hurts like crazy, no one interesting is on to talk to... so I'm just sitting here drinking cups of tea one after the other :/
...still don't know if I'm gonna go through w. my plan. on Sat.
b.c. the fact that I'm 5o% proud & 50% stubborn just makes me think nahh, but then again...thanks to Toliy who got me all confused, 1st he's like you do it- ''I'll take out my bat, don't temp me...okay allright tempt me & see what happens pal...'' (LMAO!)
& s0 the next day which was yesterday he's like ''do it!'', I'm like if I do it I'll feel like shit, he's like ''you'll feel like crap if you don't''...allright he made his point.
besides all that going on... I gotta start my research paper some time this weekend, even though its due after XMas break, we all know I luv to procrastinate.
& lately I've been running into ppl I know online...tell me how this kid who Asya used to like from JCH knows my bf? mdaa hate the stupid russian circle!...I think he thinks I must be crazy though, I rem. I made up a random nick name for him- ''sky'' so everytime I'd go yelling around omg SKY! omg the sky IS BLUE! Asyas like I'll kill you. lol
ugh 1 thing I actually AM kinda happy bout is my mom, we talked & it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be...
like I don't understand Anna's like ignore it, I can't ingore someone I live in the same house w. esp. if it's my mom...kinda hard to do, besides it's much more easier to just make up w. her.



what I'm NOT happy bout it the fact that no matter how much I excerise I'm not lo0sing much weight, & I don't even eat that much, seriously it's so weird.
I've been bellydancing to like gypsy music & stuff lmao, which reminds me of ...
NO. lol
reminds me of- the times me & Alya to0k belly dance...haha we came in we didn't know SHiT...& then she's like I think we're getting better...but no0o0 I HAD 2 quit that to0.
ahh somehow when I write all my shit here I feel a lil better...
its so cold in my ro0m

In a dark room full of fears
With you & I full of sensless words
Only now I understand your question- was more than it appeared
You wished to go without causing me pain...
But that was impossible, your answer was vain- to my questions too hard to explain...now.
You lied to keep me away from further gettin hurt,
But I denied everything, when hate into love I tried to convert.