В колонках играет - propaganda - okean
Настроение сейчас - FEELING LIKE DIRT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what do you know about pain???

i wish i could remove that part of my heart that hurts... i could leave the rest.. let it keep beating, keeping me alive, eventhough, at this moment i have never felt so dead...
so let me rip it out, let it be dead... so i can live... so i can breathe without my chest wanting to cave in... please... let me rip it out... so i can just forget about him.

i really hate myself now... im crying about feelings all the time and then acting like a bitch to people i care for... what is that about? fuck it. bastian was right when he said that my life is fucked up... i shouldn't even be here... im so sorry... bitch! i mean, how can i tell people that their life is pathetic? im the most pathetic person i know... sometimes i feel like i have no place in this world... maybe i deserve to suffer... i mean, bitches like me should die or something... hide, and never go out to the big wide world. not like anyone wants to see me there... and even if im wrong, i dont deserve people's company... i am a bad person... ruining people's lives, destroying relationships... and it's killing me, ripping me apart to pieces... im dead emotionally, should die phisically as well, and then everything will be just fine. the world will be happier without me. but i can' t do that. the only person who stops me from killing myself is my mom... i can't do that to her, though, every day i care less about it...

" yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away..."

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В колонках играет - ...some dance to remember, some dance to forget...
Настроение сейчас - nikakoe

vsé, on ushel... bez slov, prosto ushel. dumaju ushel poslednij raz i bol'she ne vernetsya... a mne 4to delat'??? ya zhe ego kazhdij vtoroj den' v univere vizhu, mne ewe snim kak minimum 1,5 goda u4itsya... interesno on zavtra pridet? nado bint kupit', a to ewe ruku uvidet i togda to4no nikogda ne vernetsya...ya emu obewala 4to bol'she tak ne budu delat'... v4era ne viderzhala... on ushel, mne stalo ploho... uzhe nevazhno

В колонках играет - Nirvana - Rape me
Настроение сейчас - empty

Your elegant face ceasing to exist.
Your heart numbed to the afterglow of life.
Your soul never to express its beliefs, and given no chance to live.
The position of innocence lost.

Your eyes never to view the rainbow left by the sun.
Your ears never to listen to the music...
I will miss the love I thought we had for a brief moment.
I will want what I can't have...and wish you were by my side.

The greatest misfortune is not knowing you anymore...
not knowing your laugh, your tears, your smile.
I will always desire the image of you...
the happiness I would have felt with you.

I will always miss you, my friend... my lover...
the soul that I wanted to discover through mine.

...I hope you're ok...

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В колонках играет - Kraski - on neznaet ni4ego
Настроение сейчас - hihihi

"...Мамочка что же такое
Мамочка что со мной стало
Небо как будто другое
Неба как будто мне мало
Мамочка я все забыла
Что же мне делать не знаю
Ты мне всегда говорила
Я не того выбираю
Только когда его вижу
Только когда я с ним рядом
Хочется быть еще ближе..."

slushaju popsu... obi4no ne slushayu, no v dannij moment prikol'no. kstati pesenka pro menya...

В колонках играет - МНОГОТОЧИЕ - что-то другое
Настроение сейчас - :(

В жизни так бывает

Зачем я помню те дни когда с тобой мы окунались в море солнечной любви?
Тогда мы чувствами не игрались! Это было как в сказке.
Вся жизнь перед глазами ,казалось,
была заполнена сбывшимися мечтами!
А ты сидела рядом, меня гладила рукою,
И тихо говорила:"Я всегда буду с тобою!"
И тебе почему-то я верил, хотя знал что все проходит!
Но влюбленные глаза, не видят того, что происходит!
Обманутые счастьем, боятся его потерять!
Что в тряске на дне перестают его ощущать!
Не спорю, я сидел один на краешке надежды,
С мечтами о том что может будет всеё как прежде!
Но ужасающая реальность мою остудила кровь!
И, казалось, на ВЕКЕ я забыл,
Что такое любовь! Что значит любовь!

В жизни так бывает,
Что любовь приходит вновь!
Только, пламя догорает,
И не льется в венах кровь!

Да, так бывает! Любовь умерает!
Но вроде бы манит опять! Манит!
И непонятно, куда же ушло все тепло!
Холод в глазах, ветер в словах...
Страх перед болью старых потерь!
Обыкновенной любви захлопнуты двери!
Теперь, когда в сердце нет больше огня,
Теряется смысл каждого дня!
Брошен озноб от лжывых ветров,
Сменяющих доверие к цветку нежных слов!
И голос, вроде бы, и милый и родной,
Почему нет любви?!. Ответ простой:

В жизни так бывает,
что любовь приходит вновь!
Только, пламя догорает,
И не льётся в венах кровь!

(c)

В колонках играет - Ahata Kristi - Kover vertolet
Настроение сейчас - prigaju ot radosti!!!!

Jeff is back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Nakonec to on vernulsya! Ura, ura!!! Ves' den' prigaju ot radosti! Skoro pojdu v gosti vot tol'ko neznaju kak ya zavtra prosnus' v 7 utra i pojdu na u4ebu, no sej4as eto menya ne volnuet.

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Настроение сейчас - feel kinda better

Oh god... every year it comes, driving people crazy... the Valentine's Day... the second loneliest day of my life (first one is christmas)... i don't hate it, moreover, would love to get a pressi or a flower, or maybe a few nice words, a smile and a hug...
in all of my high schools i used to get a LOT of flowers and cute postcards with love confessions from secret admirers.. it made me feel good.. but it was long time ago.
this year the only guy i want to be noticed by on that day, will, i'm sure, ignore my existance... and i am not being pessimistic! it's a fact. he's not romantic, or at least, not with me... well, doesn't matter, i'm not gonna die. but it will be HARD to survive Valentine's.

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i want to remember
the rain
whispering on the streets,
the moon
breathing in silver silence,
the stars
falling like broken tears.

i want to remember
the smell of your skin,
the taste of your kiss,
the sound of your heart beating madly.

i want to remember
lying in your arms,
your lips on my body...

even this pain,
this complete and utter anguish
feels like ecstasy
because if i close my eyes,
i'm back in your arms
again...

В колонках играет - Sektor gaza - Lirika
Настроение сейчас - v shoke!!!

ya emu pozvonila... ne uspela ni4ego skazat' potomu 4to on srazu zhe poprosil prowenie za svoe povidenie!!! ya 4ut' v obmorok ne svalilas'! otkuda on uznal??? o4en' stranno... ya kone4no rada is vse takoe, nu vse ravno v shoke. on ewe nikogda ne izvinyalsya!!!!!


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ps - gulyat' ya ne pojdu, golova zabolela...

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В колонках играет - Avril Lavigne - Happy Ending
Настроение сейчас - :(

,,,All this time you were pretending,,,
so much for my happy ending,,,

В колонках играет - Nickelback - Do this anymore
Настроение сейчас - huzhe nekuda...

nastroenie vse huzhe i huzhe... i vse izza nego! nu po4emu on takoj kozel? neuzheli, posle 4h mesyacov, on vse ewe dumaet 4to ya ni4ego ne 4uvstvuju? 4to mne ne obidno kogda on prosto menya nezame4aet i flirtuet s drugimi dev4onkami??? nashla v kogo vlyublyatsya... dura! a u nas tipa otnosheniya... mi vstre4aemsya... 4 fucking moths!!!!
vobwem neznayu 4to delat'... mozhet pozvonit'??? ne mogu, nel'zya. vot takie u nas strannie i huevie otnosheniya. pora brosat', no ne hvataet sil, slishkom bol'no.

ladno, fuck him, ya poshla gulyat'... odna... how sad is that? nadeyus' vodka-tonik pomozhet...


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,,,Make this go away, please...

"ТЫ АНГЕЛ..Самый оригинальный результат."

Они жили в мире добра и зла. Они выделялись среди других не примечательных героев. Ангелы славились своей преданностью и красотой. Но
для привычного мира Ангелы оказались слишком прекрасны и их изгнали на небо. Они взошли
по воздушной лестнице в небеса и теперь от туда руководят нами. Это ты. Ангелов никак не
называют им дают номера. Твой номер будет счастливым 7 или 13.


Пройти тест "Кто ты в Средиземье ?"

Настроение сейчас - dying

Segodnya ya nenavizhu ves' mir! Depresnyak konkretnij...


Reshila brosit' svoego parnya... On eto neznaet, no dumaju emu vse ravno. :(

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В колонках играет - 3 Doors Down - Here without you
Настроение сейчас - nothing special


"A hundred days had made me older since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lights had made me colder and I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles had separate
They disappeared now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby but your still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby and I dream about you all the time
I’m here without you baby but your still with me in my dreams..."



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Настроение сейчас - sleepy

I'm.dreaming.my.life.away...
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В колонках играет - SPLIN - Vihoda net
Настроение сейчас -

Alone, sitting, watching the rain fall, I give myself away to the water, to the flames of the drops... The darkness creeps in, my reality is shattered and I fall, I fall into the dark, into the deep, into an illusion. The Illusion of me and Him being together...

When I stand near Him, yet so far away, I realize He is like a continuous wave crashing against my feet. From a distance, I'm watching His every move, His beauty, His spirit. Whether it be the calm before the storm or the rage during. Amazingly, I stand directly in His path. He runs all around my feet surrounding, engulfing me. Yet, if for a moment, I reach out just to feel His presence, feel Him trickle through my hands leaving me with just a hint of His existence. He vanishes as quickly as He appears, never noticing what I really feel for Him. Again and again until the realization sets in that I can never have his heart.
If only He would know... but He should not, because it will scare Him away, and I don't want to risk losing Him. I can't, it's just... the sudden rush of emotions would be too much for both of us. He would disappear, and I would... blame myself for making another stupid mistake... and then... you don't want to know... not like it matters.
I keep asking myself if it's love... Is it? He broke through the barrier I had up around my heart and actually brought back the feelings into my life. For 3 years nobody could do that! So, suddenly, out of nowhere, He appears in my life, turning everything upside down and inside out!!! Obviously, He didn't want to do that, but, oh well, I'm sorry, I didn't plan to fall in love with Him either... Life is unpredictable.

And the rain keeps falling...

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В колонках играет - Radiohead - Creep
Настроение сейчас -

I have seen our love
on the cold damp floor
in the darkest of rooms
lying in a pool of blood
still, as my broken heart

and I approached it
I knew...
softly ...a kiss
a pause
a tear
a touch
carress
still nothing

once a love shared [показать]
now abandoned
alone, dying
cold and grey
only hope
a wish, a dream
could find it again
and awaken
this lifeless mass

I weep some times
I lay myself at it's side
and wait...
time will pass
and so will I stop
waiting..
wanting
hoping
I wait..

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В колонках играет - Delfin - Nadezhda
Настроение сейчас -

,,,On the dark side of the moon, there's a comfort
A cold place where I can hide my heart
Protect it from another round of mutilation
And the things intent on tearing it apart
On the dark side of the moon there is frost
So much that I can't feel that from your heart
It numbs the pain of the ripping and the tearing
As my love for you burns and falls apart
On the dark side of the moon there is no sunshine
No warmth to heal my aching heart
Though I thought the cold had numbed me
I still feel your love ripping me apart,,,

В колонках играет - Live - Dolphin's Cry
Настроение сейчас -

Saliva - Always

I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"...
it's telling me all these things...
that you would probably hide...
am I... your one and only desire...
am I the reason you breathe...
or am I the reason you cry...

Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...

I feel... like you don't want me around...
I guess i'll pack all my things...
I guess i'll see you around...
Its all... been bottled up until now...
as I walk out your door...
all I hear is the sound...

Always... always... always... always... always... always... always...
I just can't live without you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't get around you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...

I left my head around your heart...
Why would you tear my world apart...

Always... always... always... always...

I see... the blood all over your hands...
does it make you feel... more like a man...
was it all... just a part of your plan...
the pistol's shakin' in my hands...
and all I hear is the sound...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
I breathe you...
I taste you...
I can't live without you...
I just can't take any more...
this life of solitude...
I guess that i'm out the door...
and now i'm done with you...

I love you...
I hate you...
I can't live without you...
Always


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,,,Bottle up inside, is the anger, tears, and lies...The emotions I try to hide,,,

cute, very cute... ahh...
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*Jude Law*