A man walks into a poker room and notices two men and a dog playing poker. The dog was playing exceptionally well and the man comments "Wow, that's one smart dog!". "Not too smart." one of the men at the table replies. "Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail." Antonius played only 273 hands but still managed to crack his opponents for $193k. The Finn resumed his rivalry with Gus Hansen playing a series of $300/$600 heads-up PLO Hi-Lo matches against the Great Dane. Once again it was Antonius who got the better of his fellow Team Full Tilt Pro. From there he joined a 6-Max table of $300/$600 PLO against Hansen and online upstart XWINK.  Antonius was essentially unstoppable at that table as well and flattened both Hansen and XWINK. Antonius won the biggest pot of the night when he flopped a straight flush against XWINK, who had the misfortune of flopping an ace-high flush. The money went in on the turn and Antonius raked in a $102k monster pot.... rake in holdem online

Some people have luck that goes from good to bad in an instant. Take this one friend of mine for example. He almost always draws whatever card he needs to win a hand of poker, but almost always loses big at the horse races! I asked him about this and he once replied "Well, they don't let me shuffle the horses." Blue Shark sunglasses have been worn by players like Jonathan Little, Young Phan, Humberto Brenes and Hoyt Corkins and they claim to do things no other eye-wear can. “Dark sunglasses may hide the eyes, but they also restrict your vision inducing mistakes and, perhaps more importantly, eye fatigue," says Monica Lee, Director of Operations for Blue Shark. The new WSOP sponsor's sunglasses are designed to hide the eyes while still allowing maximum light to enter, seeking to give players a clearer look at what's happening around them than with traditional sunglasses. Since the early days of televised poker sunglasses have been a staple at the poker table, making this partnership a natural... holdem poker online

A homeless man asks another man for two dollars. The man says "Will you use the money to buy booze?" The homeless man replies "No sir, I don't drink." The man then asks "Will you use the money to gamble?" The homeless man replies "No sir, I don't gamble." So the man says "Do me a favor and come home with me. I want my wife to see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble." With its $25,000 price tag, the final stop on the WPT schedule guarantees big names and a big first-place prize. This year the winner will receive $1,618,344. The first two days are done and 220 players in total registered with pros like Doyle Brunson, Erik Seidel and Daniel Negreanu headlining. Entering Day 3 in first position is Bellagio fixture Abe Mosseri, who stacked 685,000 in the first two days of play. Mosseri's one WPT final table was at the Bellagio in 2003 when he finished fourth in the Five Diamond Classic for $174,000. Mosseri also won a WSOP bracelet in 2009 when he took down the $2,500 2-7 Triple Draw event. This year's WPT Championship is a seven-day event with the final... holdem poker online

A brain surgeon receives a phone call from a colleague on a Saturday night. "We need another poker player for tonight" the friend says. "I'll be there right away!" the doctor replies with a sense of urgency. As he puts on his coat and makes his way out the door his wife asks him "Is it serious?" and the doctor replies "Oh, very! There are 3 other doctors already there!" A few smaller stories may have slipped through the cracks as a result, but fortunately, we've complied them below in our weekly Poker News in Brief feature. This week, Jason Mercier wins again, PokerStars pays out, PartyPoker offers more ways in the WSOP and more. Mercier Wins EPT Champion of Champions The EPT's seventh season wrapped up this week with Team PokerStars Pro Jason Mercier taking down the first ever European Poker Tour Champion of Champions event. Mercier, 24, who beat this year's PCA champion Galen Hall heads-up, won €50,000 in EPT Season 8 buy-ins in the freeroll pitting the EPT main event champions from the first seven seasons against one another. "I'm extremely happy," he... Freeroll poker online

A brain surgeon receives a phone call from a colleague on a Saturday night. "We need another poker player for tonight" the friend says. "I'll be there right away!" the doctor replies with a sense of urgency. As he puts on his coat and makes his way out the door his wife asks him "Is it serious?" and the doctor replies "Oh, very! There are 3 other doctors already there!" This week PL.com will want to check out the weekly Cake Poker and 888poker $500 freerolls but there’s also the Poker770 $1,000 freeroll that only comes along once a month. PokerStars is still running freeroll satellites into its massive $15k SCOOP freeroll. If that sounds good, you should try and qualify on Wednesday. Finally Titan Poker and Betfair Poker are both running weekly freerolls next Friday that you’ll want to check out. The Titan one pays out $500 while Betfair is giving away $304. If you're not a PL.com registered player on any of the following sites, click on the site's name in the list to sign up. Cake Poker Cake Poker is running a $500 freeroll on Saturday for new players.... holdem poker online

A man walks into a poker room and notices two men and a dog playing poker. The dog was playing exceptionally well and the man comments "Wow, that's one smart dog!". "Not too smart." one of the men at the table replies. "Every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail." Despite the EPT Grand Final taking some of his time, Hansen was still able to record 2,184 hands of high stakes poker on Full Tilt.  The Great Dane had several disastrous $300/$600 Pot-Limit Omaha sessions against O Fortuna PLS and DrugsOrMe. Since online poker’s Black Friday shut the doors to U.S. players on Full Tilt, Hansen has been on extended slide that’s seen him lose $883k. Fortunately for Hansen his exceptional play in the early stages of the year still has him as the biggest overall winner with $2.8 million in profit. It’s an eerily familiar situation for Hansen who won $2 million in early 2010 before crashing and burning right before the WSOP and then crashing even harder in the... holdem poker online

How can you get a "professional" poker player to get off your front doorstep? Pay him for the pizza. The AGA released a new white paper Thursday entitled Online Gambling Five Years After UIGEA warning of the growing risk to U.S. consumers under the U.S. government’s current Internet gambling policy and detailing technology, methods and processes that have proven effective in mitigating the legal and social risks of online gaming. “Americans like to gamble online. Millions of Americans bet billions of dollars a year at offshore foreign websites and have demonstrated that they will do so even if their government tells them not to,” said AGA President and CEO Frank J. Fahrenkopf, Jr. “This report illustrates that the United States can and should establish a safe and regulated online poker... Freeroll poker online

How can you get a "professional" poker player to get off your front doorstep? Pay him for the pizza. Antonius, who has been dominating online poker since Full Tilt and PokerStars left the U.S. market, played 250 hands of $500/$1,000 Pot-Limit Omaha against his close friend Gus Hansen. Unlike Antonius, Hansen has had some challenges since online poker's Black Friday and was in the midst of an extended downswing. Last night the tables were turned, however, and Hansen raked several huge pots from Antonius and ended up doing $192k worth of damage. Unfortunately for the Great Dane, he decided to keep playing after Antonius left and he donated nearly $100k to DrugsOrMe. He still escaped with $97k in profit at the end of the night. With the victory Hansen moved back up to $2.8 million in profit... rake in holdem online

A homeless man asks another man for two dollars. The man says "Will you use the money to buy booze?" The homeless man replies "No sir, I don't drink." The man then asks "Will you use the money to gamble?" The homeless man replies "No sir, I don't gamble." So the man says "Do me a favor and come home with me. I want my wife to see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble." While pundits are predicting numbers will drop at the WSOP as a result of online poker's Black Friday - When the principals of three of online poker's biggest sites were charged with bank fraud, illegal gambling and laundering billions of dollars, effectively shutting down online poker in the U.S. - The WSOP says it did not have intimate relationships or business deals with the indicted sites and it should be business as usual for the series. "We have seen the drawing power of the WSOP in the face of perceived challenges, like the passing of the UIGEA, and the pronounced global recession,” WSOP Executive Director Ty Stewart said on a conference call with media Wednesday. “We think people... holdem poker online

A homeless man asks another man for two dollars. The man says "Will you use the money to buy booze?" The homeless man replies "No sir, I don't drink." The man then asks "Will you use the money to gamble?" The homeless man replies "No sir, I don't gamble." So the man says "Do me a favor and come home with me. I want my wife to see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble." The 28-year-old Brazilian already has a World Poker Tour victory at the Bellagio Cup in 2009 and a WSOP bracelet from the 2008 World Series of Poker $2,000 No-Limit Hold'em event and could become only the third player in history to win the Triple Crown with an EPT win at the Grand Final in Madrid, Spain. Gavin Griffin and Roland de Wolfe are the only other players to have done so. However, The former corporate lawyer will have his work cut out for him coming into the final table sixth in chips of the eight players remaining. Plus, 46-year-old Venezualan transport business owner and pro poker player Ivan Freitez has a massive chip lead. The Grand Final kicked off in Madrid this past... Freeroll poker online

How can you get a "professional" poker player to get off your front doorstep? Pay him for the pizza. Founder and chief designer Mads Kornerup started Shamballa in the early 90s in New York and has since adorned some of the biggest names in sports and entertainment, including Jay-Z and Michael Jordan. Now Kornerup has designed a bracelet that will be awarded to EPT main event winners. “The concept for our bracelets came about when Jay-Z came into the shop in New York after September 11, in 2001, and wanted something that no one else had,” Kornerup told PokerListings.com at the EPT Grand Final in Madrid. “Everyone else was going to Jacob the Jeweler and just getting over-sized bling. The more sparkle it had the better it was,” Mads continued. “And at this point Jay-Z already had his... Freeroll poker online

A weekly Friday night poker game was going strong well into the midnight hour when one of the players from the game returned from a bathroom break with a shocked look to him. "David!" he said with urgency, "Come quick! Your wife is in the bathroom making love to your brother!". "Ok guys" David replied, "this is absolutely the last hand!" As in previous years PartyPoker will offer a variety of ways to qualify with Sit & Go and Multi-Table Tournament satellites available. Both start at just $2 to enter.  PartyPoker’s Mike Sexton mentioned he looks forward to the WSOP every year. “I made my first trip to the WSOP in 1984,” he said. “That trip changed my life forever. I knew right then that as long as I lived, I would never miss another WSOP.” This year PartyPoker will be awarding massive $14,000 WSOP Main Event packages that include a $10,000 Main Event seat, eight nights accommodation in Las Vegas and $2,000 in spending cash. From May 15-30, PartyPoker will be running $750 buy-in tournaments with one seat to the 2011... holdem poker online

A woman walks into living room and sees her brother playing poker with their dog. "Wow!" she exclaimed, "You must have the smartest dog in the world!" and her brother replies "He's not all that smart. I've beaten him 3 out of 5 games so far." The professional poker player from Lynwood, IL earned $94,901 with the win. Although the $156,212 he took home from his final table appearance at the 2009 WPT Borgata Poker Open in Atlantic City remains his career best score, this WSOPC victory marks his first major tournament win. A total of 269 players competed in the three-day $1,580 buy-in No-Limit Hold’em Championship Event, creating a $391,395 prizepool. The field was whittled down to 55 on the first day and to a final table of nine Monday with Ramana Epparla holding the lead and seven-time WSOPC finalist Ari Engel's name on the marquee. However, Epparla ran big slick into aces early on to give away the lead and eventually bust... Freeroll poker online

A homeless man asks another man for two dollars. The man says "Will you use the money to buy booze?" The homeless man replies "No sir, I don't drink." The man then asks "Will you use the money to gamble?" The homeless man replies "No sir, I don't gamble." So the man says "Do me a favor and come home with me. I want my wife to see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble." "Absolute Poker has reached an agreement with the United States Attorney's office for the Southern District of New York," reads a statement from the sites. "Under the agreement, the US Attorney's Office has agreed to provide all necessary assurances that third parties may work with Absolute Poker to facilitate the return of funds to players located in the U.S. This provision is an important step to returning U.S. player funds. "Unfortunately, the Company still faces several legal issues which must be navigated before funds can be paid out to U.S. players." April 15, the Manhattan U.S. Attorney charged the principals of three of online poker's biggest sites with bank fraud, illegal... rake in holdem online

Some people have luck that goes from good to bad in an instant. Take this one friend of mine for example. He almost always draws whatever card he needs to win a hand of poker, but almost always loses big at the horse races! I asked him about this and he once replied "Well, they don't let me shuffle the horses." Engel, who has six WSOPC final table appearances since 2007, five in the past three years and two already this year, has earned a spot in the final nine at the $1,600 WSOPC Harrah's Chester main event in Pennsylvania. A total of 269 players entered the event Sunday, ensuring the top 28 would get paid with $94,901 reserved for the winner. The field was whittled down to 55 on the first day and to a final table of nine Monday with Ramana Epparla holding the lead after miraculously cracking Michael DePasquale kings by hitting a gutshot on the river with 11 players remaining. Epparla is a 46-year-old Reading, PA business owner and married father of three looking to make his first major cash.... rake in holdem online

A woman walks into living room and sees her brother playing poker with their dog. "Wow!" she exclaimed, "You must have the smartest dog in the world!" and her brother replies "He's not all that smart. I've beaten him 3 out of 5 games so far." The Casino Barri

Some people have luck that goes from good to bad in an instant. Take this one friend of mine for example. He almost always draws whatever card he needs to win a hand of poker, but almost always loses big at the horse races! I asked him about this and he once replied "Well, they don't let me shuffle the horses." With many top-name online pros still missing due to the EPT Grand Final, Cao has had his run of the high stakes online games and he took on tkala at $50/$100 PLO.  Cao, who plays on PokerStars as PepperoniF, recorded 1,541 hands against tkala and utterly dominated the relatively unknown player to win $65,088. Although Cao primarily plays on Full Tilt, he has managed to win $555,000 through 18,632 hands on PokerStars this year. Add that to the $950,000 he amassed on Full Tilt and Rui Cao is easily one of the biggest overall winners this year with over $1.5 million in profit. Meanwhile KidPoker705, who is not Daniel Negreanu, was the biggest winner on Full Tilt pulling in $56,000 in 1,596... Freeroll poker online

How is a women like a casino? Liquor in the front, poker in the back! In fact, the site believes an estimated 500,000 people will tune in. The Grand Final kicked off in Madrid, Spain this weekend with 686 players from 51 countries competing. The prizepool sits at €6,868,000 with €1,500,000 reserved for the winner. A total of 299 players survived one of two starting days and will head into Monday's day 2 chasing overnight leader David Sonelin from Sweden. The Grand Final broadcast will begin with the final table May 12 at 2 p.m. CET live on PokerStars.tv. Once it gets down to the final four, players will be sequestered and play will begin again at 9 p.m. CET with live hole cards recorded and played out on a two-hour delay. The broadcast will begin airing... rake in holdem online

A man calls his wife at work and tells her "honey... I have some bad news. We just won the 3 million dollar state lottery." and the wife replies "Bad news? How is that bad news! We can finally live out our dreams!" to which the man responds "The payout is 3 dollars a year for a million years." ElkY outlasted a field of 58 players and a star-studded final table beating PCA finalist Benny Spindler heads-up to collect a €525,000 first prize. “It feels really wonderful to win, as it’s over two years since my last major win at the PCA," he said. "This is the most prestigious of the EPT High Roller events as it’s the Grand Final.” ElkY, who had bubbled the event at the last two EPT Grand Finals, went into the final table as one of the shorter stacks but overcame the deficit to win his second EPT High Roller title since taking down the PokerStars Caribbean Adventure High Roller in January 2009. Grospellier now has more than $7 million in career live tournament earnings and sits at the... holdem poker online

How can you get a sweet and gentle old lady to say the word "fu@k"? Get another sweet and gentle old lady to yell BINGO! A few smaller stories may have slipped through the cracks, but as usual, we snatched them up and compiled them below in our weekly Poker News in Brief feature. This week the WPT takes over the Premier League, the PPA plans a march on Washington, SCOOP begins and more. Premier League Joins WPT World Poker Tour and Matchroom Sport have announced the upcoming season of Premier League Poker will be renamed the World Poker Tour Premier League Poker. The PartyPoker sponsored event will take place later in the year and will be filmed for broadcast in Europe with the number of players also increasing from 12 to 16. The $125,000 buy-in will give players a shot at $250,000 in added money and a... holdem poker online