Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!

 

Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.

 

Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

 

Don't cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.

 

Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

 

Crying is blackmail.

 

Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one :
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

 

We don't remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.

 

Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?

 

Yes, and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

 

Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

 

A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.

 

Check your oil! Please.

 

Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

 

If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

 

If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We refuse to answer .

 

If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.

 

Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.

 

You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

 

Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

 

Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us bitching about you leaving it down.

 

Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

 

The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.

 

ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit , not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

 

If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

 

We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.

 

If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

 

If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

 

When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.,/LI>

 

Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation or monster trucks.

 

You have enough clothes.

 

You have too many shoes.

 

Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it's Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn't really matter what the hell they're saying anyway.)

 

It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn't matter which quiz.

 

BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.

Sure, you thought you already knew that. But now we have conclusive proof! After countless hours of surveys and studies on the following topics, these facts have emerged :

 

 

• MATURITY
  Women mature much faster than men. Most 17-year-old females can function as adults with the exception of a teen magazine vocabulary.

  Most 17-year-old males are still trading baseball cards and giving each other wedgies after gym class. This is why high school romances rarely work out.

   

• HATS
  Women look good in hats; men look like dinks.

   

• COMEDY
  Let's say a small group of men and women are in a room, watching television and an episode of "The Three Stooges" comes on. Immediately, the men will get very excited - they will laugh uproariously, and even try to imitate the actions of Curly, man's favorite stooge.

  The women will roll their eyes and groan and wait it out.

   

• HANDWRITING
  To their credit, men do not decorate their penmanship. They just chicken-scratch.

  Women use scented, colored stationery and they dot their "i's" with circles and hearts. Women use ridiculously large loops in their "p's" and "g's." It is a royal pain to read a note from a woman. Even when she's dumping you, she'll put a smiley face at the end of the note.

   

• BATHROOMS
  A man has at most six items in his bathroom - a toothbrush, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap and a towel from the Holiday Inn.

  The average number of items in a typical woman's bathroom is 437.
  A man would not be able to identify most of these items.

   

• MAGAZINES
  Women's magazines have sexy women on the cover.

  Men's magazines have sexy women on the cover.

   

• GROCERIES
  A woman makes a list of things she needs and then goes to the store and buys these things.

  A man waits until the only items left in his refrigerator are half of a lemon and something turning green. Then he goes grocery shopping. He buys everything that looks good. By the time he reaches the checkout counter, his cart is packed tighter than a clown car. Of course, this will not stop him from going to the 10-items-or-less lane.

   

• GOING OUT
  When a man says he's ready to go out, it means he's ready to go out.

  When a woman says she's ready to go out, it means that she WILL be ready to go out, as soon as she finds her other earring, finishes putting on her makeup ...

   

• WORK SHOES
  When preparing for work, a woman will put on a Mondi wool suit and then slip into Reebok sneakers. She will carry her dress shoes in a plastic bag from Saks. When she arrives at work, she will put on her dress shoes. Five minutes later, she will kick them off because her feet are under her desk.

  A man wears one pair of shoes for the entire day.

   

• OTHER SHOES
  Women have millions of shoes, one for every outfit.

  Men have millions of shoes, one for every sport or athletic activity.

   

• CATS
  Women love cats.

  Men say they love cats, but when women aren't looking, men kick cats.

   

• MIRRORS
  Women look into mirrors for hours arranging makeup and doing a million things to their hair only to decide they are having a bad hair day.

  Men look into the mirror before they go out for no apparent reason.

   

• GARAGES
  Women use garages to park their cars and to store their lawnmowers.

  Men use garages for many things. They hang license plates in garages, they watch TV in garages and they build useless wooden things in garages.

   

• MOVIES
  For women, their favorite movie scene is when Clark Gable kisses Vivian Leigh for the first time in "Gone With The Wind."

  For men, it's when the entire 3rd floor of the research lab blows up but

Читать далее...

The 5 toughest questions women ask - and their answers

The five questions are :
1 -  "What are you thinking?"
2 -  "Do you love me?"
3 -  "Do I look fat?"
4 -  "Do you think she is prettier than me?"
5 -  "What would you do if I died?"
What makes these questions so bad is that every one is guaranteed to
explode into a major argument and/or divorce if the man does not
answer properly, which is to say dishonestly.  For example:
1 -  "What are you thinking?"  The proper answer to this question, of
course, is, "I'm sorry if I've been pensive, dear.  I was just reflecting
on what a warm, wonderful, caring, thoughtful, intelligent, beautiful
woman you are and what a lucky guy I am to have met you."
Obviously, this statement bears no resemblance whatsoever to what
the guy was really thinking at the time, which was most likely one of
five things:
a -  Baseball
b -  Football
c -  How fat you are.
d -  How much prettier she is than you.
e -  How he would spend the insurance money if you died.
According to the Sassy article, the best answer to this stupid
question came from Al Bundy, of Married With Children, who was asked it
by his wife, Peg.  "If I wanted you to know," Al said, "I'd be talking
instead of thinking."
The other questions also have only one right answer but many
wrong answers:
2 -  "Do you love me?"  The correct answer to this question is,
"Yes." For those guys who feel the need to be more elaborate, you
may answer, "Yes, dear. Wrong answers include:
a -  I suppose so.
b -  Would it make you feel better if I said yes.
c -  That depends on what you mean by "love".
d -  Does it matter?
e -  Who, me?
3 -  "Do I look fat?"  The correct male response to this question is to
confidently and emphatically state, "No, of course not" and then
quickly leave the room.  Wrong answers include:
a -  I wouldn't call you fat, but I wouldn't call you thin either.
b -  Compared to what?
c -  A little extra weight looks good on you.
d -  I've seen fatter.
e -  Could you repeat the question?  I was thinking about your
insurance policy.
4 -  "Do you think she's prettier than me?"  The "she" in the question
could be an ex-girlfriend, a passer-by you were starring at so hard
thay you almost cause a traffic accident or an actress in a movie you
just saw. In any case, the correct response is, "No, you are much
prettier." Wrong answers include:
a -  Not prettier, just pretty in a different way.
b -  I don't know how one goes about rating such things.
c -  Yes, but I bet you have a better personality.
d -  Only in the sense that she's younger and thinner.
e -  Could you repeat the question?  I was thinking about your
insurance policy.
5 -  "What would you do if I died?"  Correct answer:  "Dearest love,
in the event of your untimely demise, life would cease to have
meaning for me and I would perforce hurl myself under the front
tires of the first Domino's Pizza truck that came my way."  This
might be the stupidest question of the lot, as is illustrated by the
following stupid joke:
"Dear," said the wife.  "What would you do if I died?"
"Why, dear, I would be extremely upset," said the husband.  "Why
do you ask such a question?"
"Would you remarry?"  persevered the wife.
"No, of couse not, dear" said the husband.
"Don't you like being married?" said the wife.
"Of course I do, dear" he said.
"Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
"Alright," said the husband, "I'd remarry."
"You would?" said the wife, looking vaguely hurt.
"Yes" said the husband.
"Would you sleep with her in our bed?" said the wife after a long
pause.
"Well yes, I suppose I would."  replied the husband.
"I see," said the wife indignantly."  And would you let her wear my
old clothes?"
"I suppose, if she wanted to" said the husband.
"Really," said the wife icily.  "And would you take down the
pictures of me and replace them with pictures of her?"
"Yes.  I think that would be the correct thing to do."
"Is that so?"  said the wife, leaping to her feet.  "And I suppose
you'd let her play with my golf clubs, too."
"Of course not, dear," said the husband.  "She is left-handed."

God bless Friday-the shortest day in the week!!!
God bless weekend-cuz I just wanna have fun, or at least some rest)

The most difficult thing is not writing in Russian blog site, but is in reading blogs.
I can easily learn all the buttons, but I can hardly understand what you guys writing, even using some dictionaries and translational programs. God, I've never thought there are so many words that even modern program can't interpret it. So, thank you for reading me, sorry 4 the fact that I can hardly comment you!
P.S.: it will be very kind if you could write a short summary of the post in 2-3 sentences in English 4 me
P.P.S.: I've created a community about Married with children, so if you wish, visit Married with children .

The main clip



Parody-I wanna be a pop star

A huge loss for Hollywood and a whole world. I'm so sad that this happen. He was such a great actor. I loved him so much. My Condolences to his family.

Actor Heath Ledger was found dead Tuesday of a possible drug overdose in a Lower Manhattan apartment, the New York Police Department said.
Heath Ledger was unresponsive when a housekeeper found him in a Manhattan apartment Tuesday.
The Academy Award-nominated actor was 28.
Ledger was found naked and unresponsive, facedown on the floor at the foot of his bed by a housekeeper trying to wake him for an appointment with a masseuse, said police spokesman Paul Browne.
"Pills were found in the vicinity of the bed," he told CNN.
"This is being looked at as a possible overdose, but that is not confirmed yet."
Browne later told reporters some prescription medications were found in the room, including sleeping pills.
But he stressed police have made no determination of the cause of Ledger's death -- that would be done by the medical examiner.
He said the pills were not "scattered about."
No note was found and there was no indication of foul play, Browne said. Ledger was found at about 3 p.m., and was pronounced dead at the scene by emergency personnel about 3:30 p.m.
                        

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Cool moments. Made by Marion

Настроение сейчас - sleepy

Christmas present 4 Simsun.

• Ann-margret  - Chicago
• Chicago - Take me back to Chicago
• Chicago - Chicago
• Frank Sinatra - My kind of town
• Frank Sinatra - Chicago
• Blues Brothers - Sweet home Chicago
• Apache Indian - In the ghetto
• Alkaline Trio - I'm dying tomorrow
• Paper Lace - The night Chicago died
• Zz Top - Jesus just left Chicago
• Pixies - Born in Chicago
• Styx - Back to Chicago
• Plumb - Pennyless
• Phair Liz - Stratford-on-guy
• Used Cars - Land of rock

If you want some others 'songs about' lists, let me know! I do take requests))

Фотографии Sandyrella : Holidays

Christmas photos

Davey Jones: Damn you, Jack Sparrow...

Tia Dalma: Land is where you are safe, Jack Sparrow, and so you will carry land with you.
Jack Sparrow: ...This is a jar of dirt.
Tia Dalma: Yes.
Jack Sparrow: ...Is the jar of dirt going to help?
Tia Dalma: If you don't want it, give it back.
Jack Sparrow: [greedily] No!
Jack Sparrow: Then it helps.

Davey Jones: You are neither dead nor dying. What is your purpose here?
Will Turner: [quickly] Jack Sparrow sent me to settle his debt.
Davey Jones: What is your purpose here?
Will Turner: Jack Sparrow? Sent me to settle his debt?
Davey Jones: [Laughs] Did he, now? I'm sorely tempted to accept that offer.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Wondering how it's played?
Will Turner: I understand. It's a game of deception. But your bet includes all the dice, not just your own. What are they wagering?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Oh, the only thing we have. Years of service.
Will Turner: So any crew member can be challenged?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Aye. Anyone.
Will Turner: I challenge Davy Jones.
Davy Jones: [Davy Jones is stepping down the stairs and as he does, barnacles and mussels hanging on the steps retract] I accept, mate

Will Turner: You want me to find this?
Jack Sparrow: No. You want you to find this, because the finding of this finds you incapacitorially finding and or locating in your discovering the detecting of a way to save your dolly belle, ol' what's-her-face. Savvy?
Will Turner: This is going to save Elizabeth?
Jack Sparrow: How much do you know about Davy Jones?
Will Turner: Not much.
Jack Sparrow: Yeah, it's going to save Elizabeth.

Elizabeth Swann: [as Will, Jack, and Norrington fight] Stop it! Will!
Will Turner: Guard the chest!
Elizabeth Swann: [indignantly] No! This is barbaric! This is no way for grown men to settle... oh, fine! Let's just haul out our swords and start banging away at each other! That will solve everything! I've had it! I've had it with wobbly-legged, rum-soaked pirates!
[starts throwing rocks at them]
Elizabeth Swann: Enough! This is madness!
[faking]
Elizabeth Swann: Oh! Oh, the heat!
[pretends to faint, then opens one eye to see that none of them have noticed]

Jack Sparrow: It's funny what a man will do to forestall his final judgment.
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: You made a deal with him too, Jack. He raised the Pearl from the depths for you. Thirteen years you've been her captain.
Jack Sparrow: Technically...
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: You won't be able to talk yourself out of this. The terms that apply to me apply to you as well. One soul, bound to crew a hundred years upon his ship.
Jack Sparrow: Yes, but the Flying Dutchmen already has a captain, so there's really...
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Then it's the locker for you! Jones' terrible leviathan will find you, and drag the Pearl back to the depths and you along with it.
Jack Sparrow: Any idea when Jones might release said terrible beastie?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: I've already told you, Jack. Your time is up. He comes now.

Lord Cutler Beckett: No doubt you've discovered that loyalty is no longer the currency of the realm, as your father believes.
Elizabeth Swann: Then what is?
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm afraid currency is the currency of the realm.
Elizabeth Swann: I expect, then, that we can come to some sort of understanding. I'm here to negotiate.
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm listening.
[Elizabeth pulls out a gun]
Lord Cutler Beckett: I'm listening intently.

'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: [after whipping Will] The bosun prides himself on cleaving flesh from bone with every swing!
Will Turner: So I am to believe that what you did was an act of compasion?
'Bootstrap' Bill Turner: Yes...

Jack Sparrow: [after searching the shattered jar of dirt for Davy Jones' heart] Where is it? Where is the thump-thump?

Jack Sparrow: [with his back to Elizabeth, thinking that she is a man] Come to join my crew, lad? Welcome aboard!
Elizabeth Swann: I'm here to find the man I love.
Jack Sparrow: [startled] Deeply flattered, boy, but my first and only love is the sea.
Elizabeth Swann: Meaning William Turner, Captain Sparrow.
Jack Sparrow: [turning around] Elizabeth!
[to Gibbs]
Jack Sparrow: Hide the rum.

Gibbs: [in Tortuga signing sailors up] And what makes you think you're worthy to crew the Black Pearl?
Very Old Man: Truth be told, I've never sailed a day in me life. I think I should get out and see the world while I'm still young.
Gibbs: You'll do, make your mark. Next!
Skinny Man: My wife ran off with my dog and I'm drunk for a month and I don't give a ass rat's if I live or die.
Gibbs: Perfect, next!

Jack Sparrow: We are very much alike, you and I, I and you... us.
Elizabeth Swann: Oh. Except for a sense of honor Читать далее...

1. What book(s) are you reading right now? If you're not currently reading anything, what was the last book you read?
2. What kinds of books do you usually read on an airplane (assuming you read when you fly)?
3. What is your all time favorite book, or name a book you periodically re-read in whole or in part?
4. What author/genre/series would you describe as your "guilty pleasure" reading? Why so?

5. What was the last book you read that you really, really disliked, and what did you dislike about it?

Фотографии Sandyrella : Atlanta, Georgia

Have you heard that? There won't be any Golden Globe ceremony cuz of the writers' strike!!! OMG, the next time they can cancel Oscar and that would be awful.

Other news: America's President debates and campanies are on their way! Yeah, this time we gonna a good President...I'm thinking about choose some democrate...

 

After watching traditional Christmas movie Gone with the wind, we decided to get some tickets in Atlanta. Anyway, I will be there about 5 days. Will miss you all!!!

Have a nice holidays! And Happy New Year!!!

Went to see it last night with the boyfriend.

Seriously, GO SEE THIS MOVIE NOW. Do NOT pass go DO NOT collect $200. Holy crap.
Johnny was delicious (and he CAN SING!) but the most important thing and wibble worthy thing?

I will:

• Stop doung stupid kiddish things
• Save up money in form of savings
• Go to gym at least 2 times a week
• Put photos in photo albums
• Stop buying needless things that never would be used
• Buy a new car
• Visit Miami at spring vacation
• Stop writing MSN messages while I'm working
• Stop flirting while I have a bf
• Make better use of time
• Be kinder & help others more
• Have more time for my friends
• Picture more as photography is actually my hobby
• Learn more Russian words or at least buy a dictionary

Everybody has its own song. Songs of memories, songs of joy, songs of childhood...We know them by heart, we sing them in the car. We remember them.
Here's my list of songs:

Road song: AC/DC-Highway to hell
Loss song: Nelly Furtado-All good things
War song: Martika-Toy soldiers
Childhood song: Cyndi Lauper-Girls just wanna have fun
Movie song: Celine Dion-All by myself
Shower song: Tom Petty & Heartbreakers-Runnin' down a dream
Ex-boyfriend's song: Sinead O'Connor-Nothing compares 2 U
Money song: Abba-Money money money
Friendship song: Alanis Morissette-Hand in my pocket
Missing you song: Bob Seger-Turn the page
Dirty song: Christina Aguilera ft Redman-Dirty
Rhythm song: Patrick Nuo-Five days
City song: Beth Hart-L.A. song
Dance song: Madonna-Jump
Sad song: Kansas-Dust in the wind; Phil Collins-Another day in paradise
Making love song: Sam Brown-Stop
Striptease song: Bodyrockers-I love the way you move
Move song: Bruce Springsteen-Born to run
Rock song: Alice Cooper-Jingle bell rock
Learning song: Pink Floyd-Another brick in the wall
Love song: Patrick Swayze-She's like the wind; Meatloaf ft Marion Raven-It's all coming back to me now

And what's your fav songs?

1. Surviving Christmas
2. Bridget Jones's Diary
3. Love Actually
4. How the Grinch stole Christmas
5. Home alone
6. Bad Santa
7. The family man
8. Call me Claus
9. Home for Christmas
10. Noel (2004)
11. Santa Who?
12. The family stone
13. Single Santa Claus seeks Mrs Claus
14. Christmas Carol
15. Santa Baby