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Мы любили эту весну,

Мы хранили память о прошлом,

Мы роняли слова на ходу

Мы читали друг друга, помнишь?

Мы любили эту весну

В тихом парке на желтой скамейке

И за столиком в дальнем углу,

И шагая по шумной аллее.

Мы читали друг друга вечно,

Мы с тобой - две огромные книги

Со страничным числом бесконечность,

С миллионом сюжетных линий.

Мы бросали слова нечаянно,

Мы любили ночную грозу.

Знаешь, это все не случайно...

Я любила эту весну.

Again together. Just spent 2 hours together..
In his house while his parents went to some cheerleading thing.
Never though that it's so hard to put clothes on in the dark...

covered by the feeling of happiness.. for now.
filled with pure sunlight.
I'm nowhere. I'n the middle of the perfect place where I'm in love.

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We had a talk. We just had a talk. We decided that we're better off now.
We're not breaking up, we've been trying to be beyond dating for a while now.
We're talking it slow.
How many tears it will take to take it easier (not easy, just a little easier)?
We still will see each other any everything. We are still in love.
Kind of pointless, and sad.
I'm gonna remember this day as a grey-ish rainy day and your "say anything"
It's too much for us, it would hurt a lot.
I'm afraid of going back home, coz I've changed so much, how my family and friends are gonna handle me? What if my sister won't like "new me"? And my friends?
Well, it is the only way to figure it out. And I'll do it anyways. About 50 days, a little more and i'm gonna face it.

~ wearing your sweater and huggin the bear you gave me~
I realise how hard were these couple days. Without you.

I miised you hand in my warm hair sitting in the yard yesterday, warm ocean breeze and sunshing, I was thinking about you...
I missed you this morning breathing in this sweet air in in the rain and warm raindrops on my face.

Not like I close myself from everybody, no! But you think so! I wonder why..
Mornings got better. I don't see you in the mornings anymore... but I stop to talk to aall my friends - that's what I do!... and this half hour before the classes just flies by. Not too bad. But I wish everything would be easier..

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I'm not happy.

I'm not sad.

I'm kinda confused.

I still care.

I still care about you.

I care about us.

I'm running away from you.

You are running away from me.

You don't want to hurt me..

I don't want to hurt you eather.

I just have no idea what to do.

I don't know how to handle silence that fills our every-morning-conversations and evening late-on-the-phone ones.
You said go hang out with your friends, don't wait for me.
I do what you say, but I can't stop thinking about you anyways, no matter what.

Tons of pictures and video in my camera, night lonlines, tired eyes in the morning, cold breakfast, morning rush, messed up hair, fucked up morning, without you.
It's not your foult. It's mine, I souldn't be so addicted

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Настроение сейчас - CoNfUsEd

I wonder if anyone can tell me why when everything is going so great with you, we think it's almost time to say goodbye.
I'm strong enough I know to handle it. Once again.
Wow, there is so much irony in my life.
I know now that you could be anywhere and I could be anyone.
I hate that you're feeling down for 2 weeks now, that you don't know what to do and panic. I try not to show. And cheer you up, while it gets harder and harder.
I said we should remember these two months as 2 great months of our lives, but seems like we just don't know how to make it work.
Hope it'll get betttttttter.....

After the AFS meeting I realised how much I've changed and I don't want to lose a "new things in me" when I'm back home to Russia.
When I write it, it sounds silly =P

PS: I ADDED 2 PICTURES from AFS meeting =)

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thinking of Greece. there were some great times...

I'm lovin' it!)))
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hm.
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it was fun, not like I thought it would be though.
Some great moments, some bullshit though...
Yeah, I don't wanna be a perfectionist. But in general it was good.
My camera didn't do a very good job...
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I'm leaving for prom right now! Yeah! I'm wearing the most beautiful dress in the world right now!
I'm going to eat first.)))))))))))))

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it's so hot outside!!!!
WOW!
I'm sitting outside in the yard with my computer, listening to music.
I'm happy))))

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OMG! Prom is tomorrow, I just can't believe it.
Gotta think what I'm gonna do with my hair and everything. WOW! I'm excited.
I'm just asking God for everything to be like I dreamt it to be. I hope M will be there. I really do. I'm nervous too.......
oUUuuu!!!!F!....pf... hm. Yeah.
Today after tennis me and my teammates made t-shirts (we bought blanc black t-shirts and than painted them.) Coach helped me a lot.
She is so cute! I'll take a picture of her and show you, she's really nice!

I'll write a little.
Today was a day just like every other day.
M left to his track thing. I haven't talked to him since. Gonna call him tonight. We promised to write each other notes is we can't talk on the phone... Sweet!
Had a test today and I don't think I did really good on it.
Played softball today.. It's pretty much like baseball. Just so you know.
Had a tennis game at BrookPoint High School, just got home.
So now I'm going to eat something, take a shower and finally get some sleep))
Bye! Love you all!!!!
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This week is crazy! I haven't written anything for a while.
There are some news - bad and good.
There are some days - good and bad.. partly. But they all are busy...
This week I have 3 tennis games in a row. Yesterday, today and tomorrow.
So I come home every day around 7-8 in the evening, eat and do my homework, take a shower and simply dying to go to bed.. being really tired after such a day.

I'm going to prom (school dance) without a date. I'm going to prom without my boyfriend. Too bad. I've been upset about for a couple weeks now. It's clear now. Now it's ok. Almost. He is going to track competitons for 3 days to another state. He's so in sports. And! He is soooo goood at it. He is gonna run with olimpic runners! That's my baby! I'm so proud, I hope it will be alright.
This is a good apportunity for him, a good chance for a scholarship and etc...

Good news: he was nominated to be a PROM KING! I love him, he is the best))))
I think it's so cool!!!

It's all gonna be fine, he'll get to prom late and prom is till 12 (midnight) so he'll definetely will be there in the end, he already has his suit and everything.
And there is also a lot of fun "After Prom" - we're going bowling till 5 in the morning! I'm excited!!!!!! It's gonna be great!!!


ps, life is like a zebra - black and white, I'll try to get some color!

wow, I can't concentrate, sitting here, just staring at the phone.
he is supposed to make an important decedion tonight.
waiting
hanging here...

I feel like I spaced out!

yesterday night was great.
today I feel pretty happy, even I know that it's M***** ("monday" - a very bad word.)
It's great to be in love and think about nothing, but him.
It's great to wake up and go to sleep thinking about times we had together.
Yesterday he said: "oh, you and your love songs" when we were listening to my ipod. I laughed.
My host dad called me "moody" the other day.
I asked M if I'm moody, he said "you are one of the happiest people I've ever met".
Smiling the whole day today thinking what he'd said.
My friend George gave me a toy bet today. He is in my Government class. He said his name is Bob =)
That's so cute =)

Heeeeey!
I'm back from NY!!!!
Took a lot of pictures!! YEAY!
SO, everyone is welcome to my photo album! I love these pictures! They are so cuuuute!!!!

this is a peace of the email that I sent my parents

Сегодня в 2 часа ночи приехали из Нью Иорка. Поездка прошла прото замечательно. Жалко только что это всего на один день.
С погодой очень повезло. Голопам по европам бежали и спешили везде чтобы все успеть.
Видели и плыли на карабле к статуе свободы, поднимались на самое высокое здание в городе, смотрели бродвейский мьюзикл, ездили на то место где были башни близнецы, обедали в кафе "Planet Hollywood".
These are some pictures from the city =)
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see other pictures

Here I am, took a shower.
Now I'm gonna pack my bag for a New York trip.
Ipod, money, ID, Sweater, sunglasses, cosmetics, contact lences, camera, snacks, water... hm... I don't want to forget anything.
leaving at 1:30 in the morning.
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