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It's hard to just imagine that my parents are sleeping in their new house right now. It's their 2nd night there... i wanna see the pictures!!! Still waiting for them.

everyhing is going to be new .. when I'll be back - the 1-2 of July!
Anyway, by my Mama's B-Day (july 11th) i'm gonna be there.....


Unbelieveble!!!!!

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There are 4 days till the break! Yeah!!!! I'm excited! No school for a while =)

When I came from school I got a message that made me smile =) It'd from a boy I used to be friends from 6th to 9th grade)))))

привет алина, может ещё помнишь меня,.... а может и нет, но всё равно приятно найти тебя в асе. За это время столько всего произошло. Могли бы пообщаться. Принимаешь предложение?

Then my other friend Lera started talking to me in ICQ... and scared me to death!!!!!!!!
Conversation:

L ‎(23:51):
ааааа ну правильно, нельзя нарушать закон ты моя порядочная сегодня у даши такая беда произошла.....
Me ‎(23:51):
what????
L ‎(23:52):
Я про у***** дашу говорю ты поняла?
Me ‎(23:53):
yes! what happened???
Me ‎(23:54):
???
L ‎(23:55):
Она поломала ноготь....она такая расстроенная была
Испугалась?
Me ‎(23:56):
лер!!!! это не смешно!!!!

L ‎(23:58):
Ну я тебя серьезно....она меня сама сегодня напугала...а оказалось что она чуть поломала... ты серьезно испугалась?

Me ‎(23:59):
да!
L (0:00):
Да....видимо ты меня совсем забыла....я же маленькая дуреша
Me ‎(0:00):
точно(

It wasn't nice!!!!
I'm still really upset coz it seems like my best friends don't want to talk to me. Isn't it obvious that I miss them a lot. Well, I can write that I do not! At all!((((((
That would be a lie.... I hope I'm wrong.

Seems like this week is gonna be the hardest one. I have tons of homework! Should get it started....

Don't feel like talking about what is going on here... so. I'm still mad and dissapointed.....

" "" """ """" """"" """""" """"""" """"""""

Yesterday when I came back from Washington DC, I was so exhausted! SOOOO tired. When my host dad asked me how was is i said "Brainpain"!!
After me and my host mom went shopping for food for the party. They got me a cake! When we came home The Band was practicing. They made a video on the camera, so I might place it here. They are not really good, Trevor is amazing guitar player they just don't sound together if you understand what I mean.
Later Cajsa came. I was so glad. She lives 2,5 hours from me, in Charlottesville city. I'm gonna visit her sometime after New Year. I thought she is not coming... =)
I hate meteorologists! All of them here!!! They all decided to predict Snow Storm on the day of my birthday party. That’s why some people did not come. But anyway it was a really nice birthday!
And here it is – Sunday! Guess what? I have to write a 3pages paper for English!
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And of course the most important thing!


MY TOEFL IS TOMORROW!!! I'm going to Washington DC at 6 in the morning...
hav to get up at 5.........hmm.... Wish me luck..


i still don't realise that it's TOMORROW!!!!

Настроение сейчас - tired!!!!

I just came back from school...
I had a play performans. My host parents finally came. Finally. Jasmin, a girl from Germany (she's also an exchange student) came too! There were a lot of my friends.
M didn't come. It's the only thing that makes me upset. But.. who cares!? Whatever...

The play went really well, all the people in there are really nice. And good actors too! Well, I took part in it coz I wanted some "communication", it worked out pretty good, I found some more people to hang out with... And I always wanted to be in the play.. and try it!

The bad thing that my grades got worse becouse we were practicing and rehersing A LOT. Mr. Clark is a crazy man!!!! He's a drama teacher. So glad I'm not in drama. But he's good too, becouse the play was amazing.

The thing that drives me crazy is that a lot of people can't come coz on the news they said it's gonna snow tomorrow. (Birthday party was my host Dad's idea)... Snow... SUCK IT UP! and COME!!!

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well, i don't want to write a lot about bad stuff...
but i don't want you to have a wrong impression about what's going on with me and the way how i live!

yesterday was such a bad day!!!!
it's amazing how diffenent can be your day from a previous one.
I got an F at school at my history class. Becouse I didn't study for this test. BECaUSE IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY!!!!... hello!!!!...
I was sooooooo sad! I was supposed to have A+ for this quarter but no i have B+.
I was sooooooo mad!!!
When I told my host Dad how mad I am you know what he told me?!?!?!
My kids never got an F!!! If they willthey will be punished! Trevoalmost got an F once and he didn't get anything, everything was taken away from him! He didn't play video games... bla bla bla!!!
And in the end, in the very end he said. You souldnot even get a C, well, C+ can be accepted. Because you want to be a part of the family, don't you?



well, here is the reality I live in!
I'm not gonna add anything else, just some PS.

PS: Live your comments please or i won't write much... I just want to know your opinon and know that I'm being read! Am I?

PSS: Also I felt horrible becouse (girls understan what i'm talking about) it wasn't the best of the month.... I had a terrible stomackache!!!
It was the 2D day since i'm here when I became despirate and wanted to say and though "I want to close my eyes and when i open them - I WANT TO BE HOME" Well, actually I said it once...
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My birthday was one of the most amazing days here recently. I would be upset a lot coz i'm not home... bla bla.. you know (most important from my FRIENDS) I'm so glad that I was so busy. It became a little easier for me.
In the morning, December 11th, Robert woke me up at 5. I jumped on the bad, turned on the light and... finally unpacked the Packege ... not packege - Packege!!!
I really like all the presents they sent me. I was excited about it all day. The funniest thing that my mom remembered I wanted her to send me my magazine! She sent me Elle Girl!!! I'm gonna read it soon. Just didn't have a chance, but I looked through it already a couple times. And at 5:30 I talked to my parents!!! And Liza! On the picture they sent me my little sister has such a long hair! =)
At school I was told happy birthday by a looooooot of people. First.. there were the people that knew i'm gona have a birthday. And then there were people that I don't even know. (when i was walking in the hallway one girl gave me a cookie. It was so sweet.) I was smiling all day... well, almost.
Got some cards. Ashlyn put Happy 17th Birthday, Alina on my locker. So even more people knew that I have a birthday.
I finally saw M, he gave me a pretty neckless. It's really tine, and looks like a drop of water. I'll tell you about M later.
Ok. Keep going.
After school when I came home I talked to my parents again (in the morning our talk wasn't long at all!). They just came back from celebrating my birthday and told my how many wonderful things I was told. I was so amazed and almost started crying.. Ok.. I cryed, but just for a second!!!
I love you Dashiko and Juja!!!
After My host parents came home and we had dinner. Nothing special: chicken, green beans and rice.
Then I had a Chorus concert. We all went there. I was so nervous!!! Like never before.
My chorus teacher is so nice (well, most of the time. Sometimes these are moments when she's a...)hm... keep going, in the middle of the concert She said a whole speech about me and how it was nice of me to teach them the song. She said that I'm having a solo tonight and it's my birthday - so everyone said happy birthday to me in russian and she also said I wish you happiness in russian withsuch a strong accent... it was so niiice. She always talks about me a lot - that's another reason why so many peope knows me. (the next day we didn't have our teacher in my english class and there was a sub. She came to me and said Did you have a solo last night?... good job) There was the phrase people were telling me the whole day! =) I know that I could ve been done better, but it was alright. One girl - she is a freshmen, told me that i've the best voice she ever heard. SHe wasn't telling, she yelled!!!.... anyway... Well, that was such a lie .... lie!
M went to the concert to see me just like he promised. I was glad. There was his mom too. Well, his sister isin my chorus class too, so that's why she came. She issuch a nice woman, all his family is really nice. I don't know why he has all these problems with his dad!!!!
When I came home my host family gave me their presents. I got cards from them too, and cupcakes with a figure of 17 candel. It was nice of them.
Also I got some voisemails from asf students and from Tanya( she is in Lousiana right now)
So it was really a great day.. i was so exhousted by the end!!!!
I was thinking about you, my friends too, the whole day! (well, actually, just like every day!)

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I was so excited and happy just about 3 minutes ago.
Not a lot of homework... and tomorrow is my birthday!!!!
It's rainy outside but I don't care...
My host Dad came to me and said - you owe me some money. It tured out my telephone bill is $55 more then they had expected... Sh*T! I'd better go shopping and spend this much money having fuN! pffffffffffffff!

i'm going home on the 30th of June..............
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Today it's been 4 MONTHS since i'm here, in America.
My birthday is coming... Yesterday I got a package from my parents. I won't open it before my birthday.
Yesterday sighed all the cards... Cryed for a while... Kind of sad and happy. It's a wonderful feeling to write cards for people who you love more them your life... Your best Friends.. parents... sister... It's like you already know that in a couple weeks all these people will read these cards and smiling, thinking for a while about u.

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Last night I was watching a movie with Trevor and two of Ashlyn's friends.
I wasn't gonna ask them to turn on the subtitles for me nut Amber did. Jason said Ashlyn that he hates subtitles. She said she hates them eather. I heard them - turned around and said if you don't like subtitles - turn them off! Jason said - no, we won't, so will be able to get every word. He said it with such a tone!!! Pff!!! I got so mad! But was just sitting and watchig this stupid american movie anout two guys who are not gays decide to merry each other... What could I do in this situation?!

Changed my design. Do u like it?

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Happy First Snow!
Here in Stafford we had our first snow. Everyone in school got so crazy about it!!! Unbelieveble! Just like they haven't ever seen it before!
Before classes and during the lunch SNOW you I could here every other second! Seriously! It is the the most often used word of the day!
At school everything was fine. Got my 100% on Business Law test and feel proud of myself. Everyone says it's the most boring class ever but it usually makes me feel better... because after all the studing.. all the casses... and vocablory words .. i get my grade.
I got out of school an hour earlier. Everybody was really excited about it. I don't really understand it. Just one hour..
People were doing snowfights on the parkinglot after school. In my opinion there wasn't that much snow to play with.
OK. I want to go to bed. I'm so tired.
PS I ate shrimps today (we went to a restaurant coz it's my host Mom's birthday) Sometime I feel like I'm sick of American food. At first it was more exciting though.

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I just came home! and it's almost 9pm. All because of this play. The performanc is on the day after tomorrow and 2 following days.

Yesterday was the worst day ever. I was so upset that I'm not with my dear Dashiko. I was going to call her... but when I came home from school it was 4 in the morning there...
I still sick. It's so bad coz me chorus performance in on my birthday. And I have a solo. I don't want to messed it up!!!
My birthdays.... oh... it's so sad. It's not goning to be like it always was...
All my life at my birthday in the morning when i wake up my parents and later Liza was there.. giving me presents.. selebrations... now these are just memorries............. =(
Nobody will be sitting on my bed in the morning on December 11th. I'm sure.

I'm sooooo tired and upset. Well, sort of...
M and I broke up today. This morning. I feel so bad about it.
I wanted to go to prom with him...
I wanted to be with him at my birthday party...
I wanted him to show me everything around... we shared so many great moments.
I wanted to be with him at Christmas...
I wanted this kinda relations. Long and permanent!!! Coz he's such a great guy!!!!!
It was supposed to be our anniversery in 3 days! 2 MONTHS ANNIVERSARY.

He ruined it. I don't blame him... i understand.
But at first I felt like it hit me in the face!!!!

I'm not really heartbroken... or somthing. But I miss him already.

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Настроение сейчас - awful... I need tea... or coffe.... anything hot!... i'm falling apart

I don't feel well. I cought a cold, now feel so siiick... Want to stay home, but I have to go to the Holiday tea (AFS meeting). Everyone will tell about their awesome naional holiday. I'll talk about Maslenitsa.. Not sure if I spelled it right, anyway..
Yesterday I was at school, from 1 to 5:30 pm. !!!! Stupid play! Drama teacher wants us to stay after school till 8!!!! he's NUTS!!! with some extra nuts on the top! It's crazy!
Well, at least I really like what i' doing.
Toefl is soon. Studing..... Read the book and listening to cds. I hope it'll help. I'm gonna freak out. Fell scared already.
Yesterday M picked me up from school and we went out to get some food, I was starving!!!! Coz I had just breakfast. Afret we went to Hallmark and othe shop to buy some cards. I didn't have a chance to do it before, hosts are so busy(((( But I'm really thankful to M.

I want to stay in bad all day... I gotta go((((((((

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I've seen my Mama in my dream last night. It was a wonerful, a very nice dream. It's magical, it's the only way I can see her now, pictures don't count, coz theyre not real... well, dreams are not real eather... anyway..

The craziest day ever.
When my teacher asked me today am i ok and i said the whole day sucks... she started laughing. She said that i'm talking just like an american. HA! funny.
It was the worst days ever. I don't want to tell you all the bad stuff, because I've just stopped being mad at verything and everyone... ect.
In the car (when M took me home, he had track practice and I had my drama play until 5) I told him how everything's falling apart and feels like i screwed everything up.... etc. he told me that everything is gonna be fine. I was mad at him too, because he didn't show up in the morning - his car broke down...rrrr, damn car! - he said we need to talk, and he was quite serious. He said we'll talk in the morning.
I don't know where I got this idea that he's gonna break up with me, but never mind. Probably coz I think it's gonna end really bad, but i'm not talking about it right now.
I said we should talk now. He said tomorrow is better coz it's a long talk probably.
He started talking. I was listening.
He was talking about everything that makes him so busy (today, actually wasn't the 1st day I got mad at him) track and his work. told me who are his friend are angry because with them tht much anymore... and it's not because of me. bla-bla-bla... he apalogised. I could be even a little mad at him anymore. I know that's all true, I can see him trying to figure everything out. See him upset when he comes later then me to school in the morning... etc. Usually he's never sad! never!
Then he made a pause and said: I love you. You know it, right?
I was so shocked. The moment before I was so afraid that maybe I'll accidently tell him that to make him feel better.
I said - finally - I guess I do, well, you didn't tell me. He said should I? (well, everything's cleam. 1 other time you can see how guys are different from girls. Girls are saying what they feel, guys just do nice things for girld and assuming that girls CAN READ THEIR MINDS!!!!)
It is so unbelieveble!!!
It wasn't a usual love scene from the movie and feels real, he was talking about it some more, but it was so hard to concentrate.....
PS:Msaid ever... this kinda reminded me of e.... my first love... how he said forever .... and it didn't really last that long. I'm still so sad that love is over.
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Настроение сейчас - freaking out (a little)

1) Thinking about M.
Everything is perfect. When I look at him sometimes (when I actually don't want to) I can see what is gonna happen. We'll break up. I was told not to be attached to anybody. I think he's in love with me. Oh, he's great. But there are two different people when I'm with him and without him. When I'm with him I feel happy and safe, and like somebody cares about me. Coz this is nice. I feel like we can talk about anything. I feel like I know him. Sometimes I can tell what he might say. He's so optimistic. I've seen him upset just once, he always make me smile....
I don't want to be hurt. Later probably it's gonna happen, but, thanks God, not now. Now I can be happy, just for a while.

2) thinking about my birthday. It's in two weeks! I'm so confused... it's so incrediable.

3) thinking about Dasha and Jenya. They have their own dramas in their lives and I often feel sad that I sometimes have no idea what's going on with them even when I read their diaries... Well, at least they know that I love them so much and think about them every single day...

4) my Mom... and my Dad... And my dearest little sister........ oh. no comments. Can't believe they are moving in the new house. Ok!!! Changes in everything! Why it can't be like it used to be!? I don't mean the house. I mean... I mean.... all the great memories.

5)my life. and who I am now. Am I different now? well, guess not so much. Just everything is so different around me.

6) about love. What is love? is there a love? anywhere? does it exist? sometimes it seems when you're in love... but later it turnes out to be only illusion. Is it just an idea from magazines, movies, books?
Probably someone simply laughted at us, maybe somebody just made it up! who knows the answer?

7) question of the day: if the love is not real, if it's just an illusion, what is the longest time it can last?!
what do you think?

8) I'm absolutely afraid of the situation that might happen. We'll just have to break up if this will happen, of course. I fact... well... this is my logic. don't laught!
We're together (close or smth like this) -> I'm happy -> we're talking about stuff, nonsence... -> he'll kiss me (hug me or smth like this -> I can stop thinking -> this would be bad!!!! -> I might say I LOVE YOU! -> we'll break up................ or if he'll tell me I LOVE YOU -> we'll break up.
hm... I don't think that a T-shir with "somebody in Stafford, Va loves you" really means that he's in love with me.
Jeeeeez, i'm going crazy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

too many thoughts for me,.... so I can share


I DON'T WANT TO BE

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boring... yes, it's monday!
Got my grades today, so i'm supposed to be happy. But i'm not for some reason.
It's not cold outside... I want snow! Just a little bit! pls...
Weekend is over. Yesterday I went bowling. It was fun.... and I won =)
Why all the weekends are so short?! I need a break! Next week I'll have holidays. But only 5 days!!!! hummmm... Don't think that's enough.
Tomorrow I'm going to the trip with FBLA, with my school. It will be all day after school. On 26th - another one. We'll go to the court house, hope it won't be that boring i think it is.

Настроение сейчас - feels like i don't wanna sing again

The day before yesterday i went to these try outs for chorus.
There were all the schools of the county.
I was really nervous. The song was really hard. It was in latin!!! In Latin! Also there were a lot of high notes, so it was hard even for 2 soprano.
M went there with me. There was his mum too, coz his sister, Ariana was doing it too.
Everything was like in the worst nighmere. But it still was an experience. I still don't know if I made it. I don't think so. Anyways... I was pretty upset after that yesterday. Spent 2 hours in Sarbacks, coffee, muffin. I'd say it hepls. At least it helped me.
M said he wanted to cheer me up. Isn't it cute!?!? oh...hm =)

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I'm in the USA for 3 months!!!!!
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