[466x699]
..... ~ We won!
Twice! Girl's game and guy's game too!
I had a great time. I don't like when everything is going good I think jow it could be perfect and what i need for it. It just spoils the moment of the happiness.... I hate myself when it happenes.
But oops! Can't help it!
.
..
...
....
.....
Trying to be happy with what I have and what I am, what I do and who I'm with.
But it's not easy.... especially who i'm with and who i am... coz it's not who i wanna be sometimes.
Wanna be free...
Independent...
Unafraid of the future....
Just do what i feel like doing.
And don't think if it's wrong, just do.
I wanna live like this.
And.......................................... BE HAPPY !!! ~

[364x699]
it's been a long day and you know what? it's not over yet!
*
I didn't go to school today coz i didn't have to take exams... so I went to my host Mom's work in the morning.
She is a kindergarden teacher.
All day was kind of fun, I've just got home.
Kids are fun, but as Ashlyn said they are "crazy phyco litte kids"))
I didn't really believe it at first.. but then they had a rises (which is like spending sometime on the playgroung outside)
Yes! They are psyco!!!
OMG! They were screaming so loud! Wow! We were playing... kind of... they were chasing me... about 7-8 laps around the playground.
I even fell once! =D
Ashlyn came there after school and it wasn't that bad. I really like her when she's in the good mood and talks to me. But is doesn't happen often. Yeah...
I wish that kindergardens in russia would be like that, but I don't feel regret coz I like a lot the kindergarden where I went. I still remember a lot. And some is not on the picture... just in my memory.
When yesterday I ws very very upset about Ash, I thought Iwill stop trying to go o contact, coz i feel so tired trying and trying....
So today i'm still trying. I'm going to the bascetball game with her and 2 of her friends.
It got a little better for like an hour. I mean she started talking to me, like a real, normal conversation. I was so excited about it! She told me about a guy that she met in a church and how they texting each other all the time till midnight.
Well, this is awesome! I'm not even kidding!
If she'll get a boyfriend or something... I want her to be happy. I can't see her not smiling and being so closed in herself (when she is with me). Coz i don't feel good about it.
Seems like there is less ICE between us today, i'm so glad.
But something deep inside of me tells me that this is like always for a very short period of time. I'm trying not to listent to it. . . . . . YET!

So I'm leaving for basketball game soon, but i'll keep you posted.

PS: like the song.

DAUGHTRY LYRICS

"It's Not Over"

I was blown away.
What could I say?
It all seemed to make sense.
You've taken away everything,
And I can't deal with that.
I try to see the good in life,
But good things in life are hard to find.
We'll blow it away, blow it away.
Can we make this something good?
Well, I'll try to do it right this time around....
.............................................................

why it's not easy to be like this?
to look like this...
why can't i....pf.
[465x699]

[300x450]
*
sometimes I have too many thoughts in my head and I need to talk to somebody.
*
I would know what to do last year. I would call my bff and talk for hours. Seriously! For hours!!! We used to talk about everything, little and big things without any reason. Coz we didn't need a reason.
*
Then talking to M I realized - I'm tired of talking. Feels like I am. Jee, he helps me a lot, advising me stuff. He said that the best was to stop thinking about something - watch TV! ...unbelieveble! I don't think so! No way!
*
Sometimes I feel so much emotions I wasn't to scream! But usually just sitting silently when I have such moments.
*
Sometimes I don't allow myself to feel certain emotions. It's hard to handle.
*
Sometimes...
*
Sometimes I just have a bad day...
*
He tries to help me decide what to do with Ash, coz i don't think we communicate well. He said I need to talk to her.


PS: There are probably people around you who silently do not like you. but do you wanna know? Do you? And what if it's someone who you like and wanna be friends with......
who r u silently dislike?!

*
Sometimes all I wanna do is call my mom.
Never do, coz it's early in the morning or night there... and usually it's a stupid idea coz i make stuff more important then it really is. Just like right now!

Ты веришь, ты ищешь любви большой,

Сверкающей, как родник,

Любви настоящей, любви такой,

Как в строчках любимых книг.



Когда повисает вокруг тишина

И в комнате полутемно,

Ты часто любишь сидеть одна,

Молчать и смотреть в окно.



Молчать и видеть, как в синей дали

За звездами, за морями

Плывут навстречу тебе корабли

Под алыми парусами...



То рыцарь Айвенго, врагов рубя,

Мчится под топот конский,

А то приглашает на вальс тебя

Печальный Андрей Болконский.



Вот шпагой клянется д'Артаньян,

Влюбленный в тебя навеки,

А вот преподносит тебе тюльпан

Пылкий Ромео Монтекки.



Проносится множество глаз и лиц,

Улыбки, одежды, краски...

Вот видишь: красивый и добрый принц

Выходит к тебе из сказки.



Сейчас он с улыбкой наденет тебе

Волшебный браслет на запястье.

И с этой минуты в его судьбе

Ты станешь судьбой и счастьем!



Когда повисает вокруг тишина

И в комнате полутемно,

Ты часто любишь сидеть одна,

Молчать и смотреть в окно...



Слышны далекие голоса,

Плывут корабли во мгле...

А все-таки алые паруса

Бывают и на земле!



И может быть, возле судьбы твоей

Где-нибудь рядом, здесь,

Есть гордый, хотя неприметный Грей

И принц настоящий есть!



И хоть он не с книжных сойдет страниц,

Взгляни! Обернись вокруг:

Пусть скромный, но очень хороший друг,

Самый простой, но надежный друг,

Может, и есть тот принц?!

/Э.А.Асадов

his dad came and said
how r u doing
we thought he said what r u doing
M said nothing
I said just talking
hilarious!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL

[331x500]
tonight it tured out to be nothing i planned.
i just spent it over M's house with his funny family. They are really nice.

I see.. we don't need a TV on... we can just talk...about life... and everything...
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
it's AMAZING to be lovED! =P

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/24752.html

http://veryfunnyads.com/ads/25594.html

everyone's talking about it right now...
sad.
I like his movies...
sad.
[337x353]

I hate finals..................................................... and exams in general!

PS I'll start Phyhology, Finance and Government next week! Excited anout it!. Hope i'll be still alive..............

[300x300]

Today me, Meaghan and her mom "hopefull" - as she said will go to this sports-fitness-training thing.
At the same time M planned to take me out to eat.. the same day in the evening.
And! Also! I have final exam at my Business law class on Friday!

I have no idea what to do... what to choose.

way out!
I can
- study half of te exam today and leave half for tomorrow
- go to fitness thing (I wanted to go there for almost a month)
- ask M to plan it for another day.... but... I want to go there too!!!((((
[700x440]

Hi my dear sweet Alina! I'm so sorry that I've kept you waiting for my letter. Every time when I came home I thought that I need to write to my friend+ but actually forgot about it or was tired. I must say that I was waiting for my winter holiday very much! Really! I don't know why! My last term was quit little+ but I was really tired. And finally my winter holiday came! I was so excited! Do you understand me? New Year, Christmas, Old New Year+ and just my holidays when I can sleep for a long time=))) But it's all gone.. so quickly! And I go to school. I didn't want to return to this "work conveyor", but HAD TO.. you know=)))) Well, all holydays were great. I spent New Year with my parents and our family's friend, Christmas with granny and Old New Year with my family. Best of all I like Old New Year. It was very fanny! We cooked tasty food, listened to music.. remembered our past tense. And laughed a lot and a lot=)))) Yesterday I cleaned the flat, took away the New Year tree.. I was sad+ you could read about it in my blog. By the way, I can't enter Li.ru, so I can't read your blog there. But I'll try again lately. So couldn't you copy the same into the mail.ru blog! I promise I'll read and comment each time you write there=)))) So+ continue. My English with Alla is okay, I like my group. We celebrated New Year in the group.. I liked it so much. Dasha Murga was a +. Снегурка and another Dasha was a+ Дед Мороз=)))) We danced, eat+. It was really funny. I'm sure girls have already told you everything about it. As for me I'm okay: go to school, study+ love+ So everything is good. You know, I'm an optimist. How are you? Do you like there? How is your English? And..Oh! How did you celebrate Christmas? It's the first time you celebrate it in such way! I'm waiting for you letter. With love Ксюня. Kissing

P.S. Promise to write you more often!=))))

[300x413]
попытаюсь....


Сегодня был тяжелый день.
Все началось когда я проснулась на 30 минут позже... Когда позавтракала, чуть не заснула, минут пять просто смотрела на пустую тарелку, как в трансе. Потом пришла Барбара и говорит - ты в школу готова? (а я в пижаме сижу таращусь на бедную тарелку)
привыкла поздно ложиться спать, теперь страдаю...
В школе все так медленно было. На английском смотрели The Great Gatsby. Странный фильм, мягко говоря...
М подарил мне апельсин, а после школы мы с ним предложения 3 раза начинали с одного и того же слова =D It's contagious!!!
Получила email с фотками моей комнаты и немного моего дома в Ставрополе... =)
This week is gonna be long................................. no.....

it's damn COLD here!!!!!!!!

Stavsk8 (1:50:51 AM): hey there
raspberry07afs (1:51:19 AM): jeez, i haven't heard from u 4ever!
Stavsk8 (1:52:13 AM): me 2
Stavsk8 (1:52:25 AM): how d u find me?
raspberry07afs (1:52:38 AM): facebook, easy
raspberry07afs (1:53:14 AM): how r u?
Stavsk8 (1:53:27 AM): fine
Stavsk8 (1:53:31 AM): u?
raspberry07afs (1:53:37 AM): fine too
raspberry07afs (1:53:54 AM): u've been to DC?! right?
Stavsk8 (1:54:07 AM): yeap
raspberry07afs (1:54:26 AM): i'm really close to DC))
raspberry07afs (1:54:35 AM): too bad we didn't meet
Stavsk8 (1:54:59 AM): yeap
raspberry07afs (1:55:48 AM): what's new?))
Stavsk8 (1:56:05 AM): nothing
raspberry07afs (1:56:15 AM): everything)
Stavsk8 (1:56:25 AM): maybe
raspberry07afs (1:56:32 AM): ))
raspberry07afs (1:58:45 AM): u should call me sometime, so we can really talk
Stavsk8 (1:59:17 AM): it's so difficult 2 find time 2 talk right now)))
Stavsk8 (1:59:37 AM): i haven't even heard from my mom 4 a long time ))))
Stavsk8 (1:59:48 AM): but sometime definetely
raspberry07afs (1:59:58 AM): sure
raspberry07afs (2:00:01 AM): same here
Stavsk8 (2:00:22 AM): do u have any midterms?
raspberry07afs (2:01:02 AM): I had them a while ago - my classes are half semester every day
Stavsk8 (2:01:21 AM): what classes r u takin?
raspberry07afs (2:02:12 AM): us and va history, busines law, english, government and finance
raspberry07afs (2:02:23 AM): what 'bout u?
Stavsk8 (2:03:21 AM): precalc, gym, government, journalism, spanish, english, graphic design, photography, maybe i'll also take AP art
raspberry07afs (2:03:43 AM): cool =)
Stavsk8 (2:04:05 AM): so u have 3 study holes????
raspberry07afs (2:04:15 AM): I'll have phychology next semester
raspberry07afs (2:04:20 AM): and chorus
raspberry07afs (2:04:26 AM): and gym
Stavsk8 (2:04:32 AM): r u doin any sport?
raspberry07afs (2:04:37 AM): tennis
raspberry07afs (2:04:40 AM): u?
Stavsk8 (2:05:14 AM): bball
raspberry07afs (2:05:23 AM): hahah =)
raspberry07afs (2:05:24 AM): lol
Stavsk8 (2:05:29 AM): why???
raspberry07afs (2:05:41 AM): I played in the beginning of the year
raspberry07afs (2:05:44 AM): it's fun
Stavsk8 (2:05:56 AM): why "lol"?
raspberry07afs (2:06:10 AM): just imagined u playing))
Stavsk8 (2:06:22 AM): u think i'm awful?
raspberry07afs (2:06:28 AM): no!

Stavsk8 (2:06:54 AM): well...let me tell u that i've played bball in russia from 1st grade till 8th
raspberry07afs (2:07:09 AM): really?
Stavsk8 (2:07:19 AM): i gave it up
raspberry07afs (2:07:20 AM): u had a lot of practice then
Stavsk8 (2:07:26 AM): cos of skate
raspberry07afs (2:07:30 AM): aa
Stavsk8 (2:07:42 AM): but here u can't skate
Stavsk8 (2:07:48 AM): so i'm back
raspberry07afs (2:07:59 AM): why can't u sk8?
raspberry07afs (2:08:03 AM): too bad
Stavsk8 (2:08:03 AM): nowhere
raspberry07afs (2:08:09 AM): really
raspberry07afs (2:08:19 AM): r u living in the farm?
Stavsk8 (2:08:26 AM): i snowboard with my friends, but bball takes so much time
Stavsk8 (2:09:02 AM): i a small vilage, but u can find here anytging similar to the Lenin square and other spots of stv
raspberry07afs (2:09:26 AM): ok
raspberry07afs (2:09:33 AM): how d u like it there?
Stavsk8 (2:09:42 AM): awesome
raspberry07afs (2:09:47 AM): i'm glad
Stavsk8 (2:09:53 AM): and where do i live?
raspberry07afs (2:10:01 AM): Stafford
raspberry07afs (2:10:04 AM): VA
raspberry07afs (2:10:17 AM): u can search google maps
raspberry07afs (2:10:23 AM): I googled u )))
raspberry07afs (2:10:41 AM): it's kinda away from NYC
raspberry07afs (2:10:46 AM): =(
Stavsk8 (2:10:52 AM): it's ok
Stavsk8 (2:11:23 AM): at least the girls here r cool ))))))))))))))))
raspberry07afs (2:11:56 AM): uuu! d u have a ladyfriend?)))
Stavsk8 (2:12:47 AM): ladyfriend))))))))))) is that the way u call a "girlfriend" in ur area???
raspberry07afs (2:13:14 AM): no, one of my friends said it once))
Stavsk8 (2:13:27 AM): that's ridiculuos
raspberry07afs (2:13:32 AM): i know
raspberry07afs (2:13:40 AM): it sounds wierd
Stavsk8 (2:14:16 AM): do u study hard there?
raspberry07afs (2:14:50 AM): not really, school is not that hard
raspberry07afs (2:15:05 AM): i'm glad i don't have precac)))
Stavsk8 (2:15:32 AM): r u in calc??? how d u figure out TI ???
raspberry07afs (2:15:46 AM): what?
Stavsk8 (2:15:46 AM): TI sucks so much
raspberry07afs (2:16:00 AM): I'm not in it, fortunately)))
raspberry07afs (2:16:07 AM): what is TI
Stavsk8 (2:16:11 AM): what math r in?
Stavsk8 (2:16:18 AM): TexasIndustries
raspberry07afs (2:16:35 AM): I'm gonna be in Finance
raspberry07afs (2:16:42 AM): it counts like math
Stavsk8 (2:16:47 AM): oops..i ment...TexasInstruments
raspberry07afs (2:17:00 AM): i bet i does suck
Stavsk8 (2:17:33 AM): i dropped calc for precalc just cos of TI, noone taught us how to use it in russia
raspberry07afs (2:18:05 AM): are oter classes hard 4 u
Stavsk8 (2:18:47 AM): yeap...some afs kinds do NOTHING in their school i get high 90th
raspberry07afs (2:19:07 AM): not Читать далее...

[260x345]
So, here I am back from the crazy adventure))
Sittin in bed and eating raisins that Cajsa's host Mom gave me for the bus ride.
Tomorrow is school, everything is gonna be like usually.
M came by "to say hi". I'm glad that somebody is happy i'm back. Makes me smile.
Well, I told Ashlyn I missed her, she didn't say anything, hardly smiled... pf.

I have some news! I bought a dress at Charlotesville's mall. Yes, I bought a dress in January, but so what?! It felt right.

So, here are my news: I'm going to Maryland next weekend! Yeah! I know .. well.. I hope it's gonna be awesome! I'm going to the youth (i doubht I spelled it right) club (Bouts and ships) to the birthday party of my host mom's grandpa's birthday. It's his 90th birthday, can you imagine? And he still has a pretty good helth+eyesight+understanding of everything. Cool! I wish him be helthy as long as possible and I hope to be like this when I'm 90))))

By the way, when I was in Charlottesville Robert called me and said that my mom called me from Russia! I was so excited and sad coz i couldn't talk to her. TOO BAD! But the fact that she called makes me happy, hope they miss me as much as I miss them.

PS: dirrectly to Dashiko and Juju! I haven't seen your comments for a while. Makes me very very upset. =_( Email me or something. I MISS U!
[300x205]

http://www.kurthalsey.com/work.html

Это цитата сообщения Сливочно-клубничная Оригинальное сообщение

"Do Not Stand At My Grave and Weep" by Mary Elizabeth Frye.

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
Of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there. I did not die.

The scariest bus ride in my life!!!
It was 1,5 hours long!!!
I got in the bus, all happy and excited! When the bus left Fredericksburk my phone started ringing. It was my host dad, just making sure I'm all right. It was a public bus, and people were looking not friendly. After I talked to him, the bus drived started screaming, he yelled: Silence your cell phones! Keep all your conversations private to yourself!!!
With very strong southern acsent. I swear it scared me to death!!
So I was just sitting quietly, listening to my i-pod.....