`are you afraid of changes?`

Sometimes I feel like... when I know something but I don't understand all of it.
The deepest meaning.
What it is gooing to be for me.
How it is gonna work.

It's a new fact and I feel NUMB.
I can't consentrate, I don't allow myself to think aboutit too much, but in fact can't think of something else.
Like it's stack in my mind.
[400x71]

It's Saturday.
I'm going to Washington at 2. It's kinda cold outside, and windy.
I had such a good sleep! MMMmmm....
I love to have a good sleep at night. But, of course, Have to get up at 5-6 in the morning.

In chorus everybody already have plans how the spring concert is gonna be like.
We all gonna be drssed up, pretty dresses... No more chorus uniforms! Yeah! I hate those, they are black, plain, long and absolutely uncomfortable...

Ashlyn gave me a peace of newspaper, there is a story about our game in Masoponix... That was very nice of her! Coz usually she collecs all the peases about her school and puts them in the special album.

[550x575]
Today is been a long day!
I got out of school early - 12,15. But the school day didn't seem shorter.
Afterschool I went over M's house and we finally got some time to spend together, just us.
Haven't eater real food today, at all.. hungry, but it's time to go to bed now, I'm so tired.
I didn't have practice today.. I don't know if it's good or bad..
Gota packege from my family! HAPPY! That's all I can say, what else???
Got to see 176 photoes that are on the CD they sent me.
I love them!!!
Finaly met Chris. He is so nice!!!! He's cool, it's been nice to talk to him.. I hope we'll get some time to talk about stuff and all, he seems to be a very interesting man.
I'm staying in my room, coz Chris brought his own bed, so here are some good news.
I cleaned my room thought, looks really neat now.
Tomorrow afternoon we're going to Washington =) hopefully it's not gonna rain, that would suck so bad.
I feel happy, it's been a nice day.
Since today I'm not gonna allow depressive thoughts for myself...
I think I can be happier. I wanna be happy.
I'm tired of grey days that are all the same...
I'm tired of being tired all the time.
Next week I decided to start over.. Change somethin.

[300x206]
Ok. Listen, I'm gonna besleeping in Trevors room for 2 week.
Chris is gonna be here for two weeks... He's coming tomorrow.
Tomorrow I'm gonna be done with school at 12.15 YEAH!
And than SPRING BREAK! A WEEK OF HOLIDAYS! Not a long time actually.
Wanna have plans!!!! Wanna go to Florida! It's warm in there...
Wanna go to at least Virginia Beach! Wanna see the ocean!..

I'm going to Washington DC (capital) this Saturday. It's cool, I'm not VERY excited... it's alright... This is something that was planned 6 months ago by my host family..
It's nice of them to take me there.
Everything's kinda grey... Nothing is very exciting anymore, I can't be happy all the time, why can't I?
Went to Riverband High School for a game, it's 30 min away.
Got home late, at almost 8 again. Finally got to talk with M... Long story.
The most amazing thing of the whole day - I got a very nice email from my aunt.. That was very sweet..


oh!!!=)
АЛИНУШКА,дорогая моя племянница, привет!
Все собиралась тебе написать, и вот появилась такая возможность!
УРА!!!
Очень по тебе скучаю.Приехала ненадолго в гости, пишу тебе из
вашего нового дома. Я просто в восторге! Красота!!!
С Лизой спали на твоей кровати.Смотрела твои фотографии.По всему видно
тебе там нравится.
Очень рада за тебя! Молодец!!! Так держать!
Напишу немного о себе. У меня тоже все хорошо. Летом отдыхала:
лес,пляж, грибы, ягоды.
Много каталась на велосипеде (помнишь нашу поездку в
Апанасенковское?),даже научилась грести (на лодке с веслами,
оказолось, так здорово!).А какие вкусные в лесу ягоды!!! Осенью много
грибов. Столько удовольствия можно получить!
Бродишь в лесу, а они отовсюду... Успевай собирать.Вобщем, мое новое
местожительство мне очень нравиться.
С работой были проблемы, но, слава Богу, и здесь все устроилось.
Буду работать так же как и в Ставрополе
в кассе по продаже авиабилетов, да еще и железнодорожных. С 24 марта
пройду обучение и приступлю к работе.
Вот приехала в гости, здесь уже жара! Почки на деревьях
раскрываются! Народ в огородах копошится.
А вернусь домой, у нас еще прохладно.Там еще снег лежит!
Да, Алечка, я еще "встала" на лыжи. Говорить, что стала лыжницей пока
рановато, но мне очень понровилось. Здорово!
Надеюсь, даже уверена, что побываешь у меня, вернее у нас с
дядей Сережей, в гостях. ДА?
Крепко-крепко тебя обнимаю, целую. Желаю успехов во всех твоих
делах! Огромный привет от Иришки. Пока ПОКА!!!
Твоя тетя ОЛЯ.

[474x699]
This Friday Chris (my another host brother is coming from California)
I'm actually excited. Want to meet him.
It might be awkward... Yeah.
For a few days Ashlyn in gonna live with me in my room of Trevor is gonna be in my room with Chris and I will be in Trevor's room. Oh yeah! That's exactly where I wanna be during the spring break - in somebody elses room!
I'd preferAshlyn to be in my room.. But that's a little weird too...
We'll see.........

How? how to do it?
How to overcome feelings?
I think in fact just being a girl is already a very emotional thing!
Time is going fast and I think my mood is going up and DOWN every 2-3 hours.
Maybe it's because of the weather.
Maybe because I haven't talked to M from 2 days and haven't seen him.
Maybe because I miss my parents.
Maybe because it was really cold at the tennis game at other school yesterday, it didn't help that we actually won...
Maybe because it's hard for me to see other girls' parents coming to games, and knew that my parents can't come (too far away haha) and my host parents just won't..
Maybe because I miss my best friends and worried about what I've read in the internet... hopefully it's all lies!!!!!!! =( WOW, some shocking news.
Maybe because i'm tired 24 houres a day.
Maybe because I want holidays!!! and spring break (it's next week!)
Maybe......
I don't know.
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Это цитата сообщения VLAD1906 Оригинальное сообщение

Твоё сердце в моём...


Твоё сердце в моём...

he said: "you're the best thing that ever happened to me"
she said: "you're only 18" and thought "there're gonna be girls he'll say the same thing too. There should be!"

*happy - wanna smile and cry*

ну вот, и выходные почти закончились!
опять сменила дизайн... ничего особенного а мне нра.
Вчера ходила по магазинам.... купила платье к выпускному, красииииивое!!
И еще много чего... одежду спортивную для тренировок и все такое.
Купила подарки, меня недавно пригласили на 2 дня рожденья....

Слушать этот музыкальный файл

i can't believe this week is over.
today won the compitition with another school. HAPPY!!!!!! VERY HAPPY!
Played 2 times, won 2 times! I did great!)))))
i don't know what else to write. Ask me if you wanna know something...)

I feel like it's gonna be a fantastic weekend!

ps: i promise to write you comments this weekend!

Yesterday I had my first gave with other school - Colonial Forge.
We won! I played twice and won twice!
I was really happy. It felt so good to win!!! OMG! Saying "Good Game" to the person that you won the game! MMMMmmmmmm.....
Came home at 8.30 in the evening. Didn't go to lanch today because I needed to get my homework done... my government homework.. pf.

PS We were on the "school radio this morning" and on the newspaper!!! YEAH!))))

I thought I did a great job yesterday ....and today at practice my coach put me playing with the girl №1... I'm soooo tired!! That was hard.
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[500x700]
give it to me.
leave it up to me.
nothing's happened. Well, something.
I'm not sad,
i'm just tired of rushing.
I miss you. On the daily basis.
Not less, but a little bit more than yesterday.
Give me some air.
Some fresh air.
Sunshine and rainbows.
Take my watch away...
I don't wanna know what time it is.
I don't wanna do what I'm told to.
I just want to be free.
Only for some time.
Time! Give me some time! Or better!
Let me forget about time and just live my live.
TimeLESS and Happy.
Loving you. Forever.

чистая...
[500x375]

[356x390]
I'm tired. Had a really hard sports practice today. Wow! Run a killometr and a half, did exercising, played, of course... Whe I was running (i don't like it) my coach was running behind me and "pushing me" ... Had to speed in the end.
On Sunday worked.. Got 15 dollars. Nothing new. nothing much anyways.
Tomorrow i'm having my first scrimmage and on Wednessday is my first game.
Today's M's and mine anniversary. 5 mothns. That's a lot!
Never been with anybody for so long. But I'm happy, I'm happy with him, deffinitely.
It was kinda funny when he was in the car waiting for me today and I saw two og my guy-friends and have them hugs... funny, but that wasn't even my idea, so don't blame me =)
One of them is Andre, he's a guitarist from the Aftermath.
The other one is Brandon, he is Amber's (Ashlyn's friend) brother. I really like him, we always say hi at school 1000000 times a day and talk a lot. He's amazing, such a great friend!

raspberry07afs (4:38:37 AM): HEY!
MarShizzel (4:38:54 AM): Hey babe!!
raspberry07afs (4:39:06 AM):
raspberry07afs (4:39:21 AM): how r u?
MarShizzel (4:39:53 AM): Im better now..
raspberry07afs (4:40:07 AM): i'm glad!
MarShizzel (4:40:32 AM): You made me alot happier =D
raspberry07afs (4:40:48 AM): oh yeah! I believe you!1
MarShizzel (4:42:03 AM): ha do you huh
raspberry07afs (4:42:22 AM): yes

Читать далее...

Hm. See, here nobody has an idea what 8th of March is.
Nobodywas celebrating, it felt really strange.
I wanted this day to be special in some way. Just because.
I crashed over M's house first. We haven't seen each other for a while so we had a lot to talk, to discuss what had happened during the week, all the stuff, news...Wow, there is so much drama.
Fact: M and I never had a fight. Not a real one, I thought that would be a good idea, just for Fun!
I gave him to listen new songs that I downloaded and etc.
Then Amber and Jadon called and asked him to come over.
So we went to Amber's. We were playing video games and roasting chocholate and marshmellowes and crackers... It was actually fun, especially when M and I won a few times (I never played this game before)

Basically, it was a pretty good day even it felt like it's not 8th of March and something's wrong.
Well, nothing big was wrong.. just.. my parents didn't call me and I thought they would.
And my best friends didn't even write me a email/card. That really upsets me coz I did sent them cards...

Hm.. And in the end of this good day M took me home. We were in the car and he kissed me.. well, we were kissing and than!!! Ashlyn and her boyfriend Kris started knocking at the window really loud.
I WAS SO PISSED OFF!!!!!
OH!!!!! Why would you do that!!!!!!!!!!!
They were laughting and then they went to Kris's car and were kissing at the car right in front of us.

I don't understand.
I hated it! But I guess I just mostly don't care.
It was such a moment ~BS!!!~
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Это цитата сообщения KruglayaLiza Оригинальное сообщение

Way Back Into Love

Обожаю эту песню, из фильма "С глаз долой - из чарта вон"! там еще было исполнение с Дрю (Софи Фишер по фильму), но в данном видео есть и отрывки из фильма)




P.S. Первый день в школе после выходных) Все такие сонные, интересно. чем занимались все свободное время?!:D
Последним уроком была алгебра... И угораздило меня сказать, как можно решить задачу) А то сидела бы за партой спокойно) Хорошо, что решила=)

понравилась картинка!
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On the news they gave the area where I live a TORNADO WORNING!
Nobady is gonna sleep till 3 in the morning.
It sounds scary.....
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