Written By Asya(Pot), Editted & Illustrated by Lenok(fruity)

*In this exiting play you will learn all about the dramatic lives of the characters, such as...Lena- the lovely, bubbly blonde, but oh...she always gets what she wants- SHE WINS! Asya- Finally finding her true love, or lover, Kitty- the girl who is dating two guys at the same time, both Andreis btw, Andrei- who apparently doesn't keep a checklist of the girls he makes out with, (Andrei Jr.- still has time to act in a play), Timur- who is way off track & needs a life ASAP, Vlad- The guy in love with Lena, Sergey- who is desprate for a girl, that's all there is to it, Artem- fun guy, notices unusual stuff easily, Kostya- the talented & skillfull liar, the stage is missing a very good actor!, Ejik- Kostya's ''friend'' who is aware of Kostya's evil deeds, Alya- the girl who finally, too, gets what she deserves, as do Natana,& the N girl*


*Asya narrates ...*


Lena: Okay Asya- I get the pink wedding dress, pink, pink, PINK!

Asya: Yes & we are Andrei's two of four wives, & Andrei is coming to Passage, which is also The Muslim Youth Center (well...according to Lena) therefore he's allowed to have as many wives as he wishes. (Asya starts bitching)



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Lena: yo we should chill here all da time yo ..

*Andrei is punching walls*

Asya: Oh look! *Kostya runs in with the sniper* (& he be like . . .


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Kostya: Get down bitches, I'm the Pope!

Lena: Yo bitches get down, he's the pope!



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Asya: Lena...that's not your line, for the last time!

Lena: *pshh*

*Timur jumps through the window with 2 girls in bikinis, with Vlad & Natana . . . *

*Who is jumped by Lena & Asya*

Lena & Asya: yo we will RIP YOUR HAIR OUT!

Asya: It's not his baby bitch! He's not the daddy!

Lena: Yes! lies I tell you, LIES!!!

*Natana lies on the ground- ''a little'' messed up.*

Vlad: OMG, she has a fake nose! *he screams*

*Lena stands there, using her favorite line . . . *

Lena: HA!, I win!

*Vlad falls in front of Lena*

Vlad: prosti menya! (will you every find it in your <3 to forgive me?)

Sergey: NO, she's mines!

Lena: Sergey, how many times must I tell you, it is mine, mine & mine, no S, you're so illiterate!

Asya: *Just that minute Kostya takes out his gun...*

Kostya: Leave the girl alone, & take 3 steps back!

*Sergey & Vlad move*

Lena: Oh God, now I must choose, they're all drills, how shall I make my pick? Let's see, the NYPD, or the Mafia, NYPD, Mafia . . .

Alya: Come on Lena, tick tock, make that brain function you can do it, yes you can!, (trenerui mozgi!)

Lena: Okay! I think...in my opinion, well....from my point of view...

Asya: Lena this is not a difficult choice, do not worry we will both fed ex you the icecream!

Lena: Yes, yes okay, (because last time my icecream wasn't fedexed to me)...

*Kostya!!! Lena screams, they run in slow motion & hug*

*Everyone awws*

Asya:*Kostya throws the gun away, hitting the N girl across the head*

Asya: ''Let's go to our grandma's house'', Kostya says.

Asya:*& they leave on their honeymoon- k babushke*

*Lena turns back*

Lena: Did she pass out, is she dead, huh, huh, huh?

Asya: Oh, she's just a little knocked out.

*Ejik comes in screaming...*

Ejik: Why are you running away with that psychotic bitch?!?

Asya:*But Alya grabs the gun & says ''Leave them alone, i bros' svoyu suku!'' (& dump your gf!)*

*Ejik obeys...& they leave, (no one knows where)...*

*Asya is left in the room with Timur, 2 bikini girls, Sergey, & Andrei...*

*Asya is looking around- confused*

*Timur is telling the 2 bikini girls about the hardships of life & having kids*


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Asya: Oh, lies, lies, I tell you...LIES! (pauses)
Asya: Oh Jesus, God, now I sound like Lena!

*Just then Andrei cracks his pothead against the wall...& it cracks & tells Sergey...*

Andrei: See this? That will happen to you... let her go.


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Asya: Oh Andrei, I've always known you loved me...

*Just then Kitty runs in with a baby in her hand!*

Kitty: No, you'll never have him!

Kitty: Andrei, take Andrei Jr. He's yours, I'm sorry...

Asya: I thought you never had sex with her!

Asya: Bitch!

*Asya whacks Andrei across the head.*

*Artem flies in through the doors...*

*Too bad Lena's missing all the REAL action...ehm*

Artem: Asya, come, I'll take you away!

*Artem throws Asya over his shoulder*

Artem: & now you shall see that it really is 7 inches long and 3 fingers in diameter!

*Artem runs away with Asya, while Sergey is left trying to get with one of the bikini girls...*

*& Andrei is holding Andrei Jr.- looking at him @ him very funny, pst- cuz it's not even his, but shh...*



***2 BE CONTINUED!***