#forgiveness Мой старенький пост на русском. Я его, правда, на английском дополнил чуть-чуть
https://goo.gl/wRrzzy
Some years ago, I've written blog-post about forgiveness. You know, in orthodox religion there is All-forgiven Day. As stupid as whole religion. People go and write each other with their - forgive me. One time in the year. I always ask them - For what? What have you done, and got it right, now, and corrected it? Umm... - they say - today is such day, well, you know.
No. I don't know. If you feel a guilt for anything - say, fuck, it! Say, what you'll never do it again. And what you have a hard, strong, understood cause, a motivation to do it never again.
What is the forgiveness? Simplifying a mistake, a damage. In Russian, these words have the same root "simple" and "forgive", in ancient English alike - for (it as like away) giving, give away it.
So, for the forgiveness it is necessary, the person who asks for forgiveness has corrected (or, though, tried) the situation. It is necessarily - a try to correct, compensate, not just asking a forgiveness or saying about they regret and sorry.
Because the forgiveness is the erasure of an act for which they ask forgiveness. The Erasure, that is, as if that act was not there. When a person understands, realizes, considers what he did, and both know that he will not do it anymore, this act will not affect their further relations. And this relationship will continue. if it is not, if: I forgive you, go away from my life.
It's not any kind of fucking forgiveness.
Ah, people, you read all these little books of cheap women, and forgive, forgive, like if you really do not remember the offence. You order yourself not-to-remember. Then, of course, you react to other people in the same way as to the offender, whom you, with some sly technique, "forgave" ...
The same, if a person has offended someone, but he is not going to correct the situation or does not believe that he offended and does not ask for forgiveness. But you say proudly: I forgive you. Oh, does he need it? Your forgiveness?
You can ask for forgiveness when you step on the foot or pushed someone occasionally. It "sorry" said, yes, I noticed, I did not want to, I was not angry. It is not because you deserve it.
the another forgives, of course, in such situation. This is the only normal example of the principle of the forgiveness.
All the rest- the forgiveness without request, the forgiveness for yourselves - is nonsense.
Ah, I'm a good and kind person, I forgive. God will punish.
So, let some God come, and revenge for me! I am good. Come God is bad) or Karma, or whatever. Someone. Who will punish for your forgiveness? Someone powerful.
And how about supposedly sincere forgiveness? What a beauty! The colour of cruelty.
Man: I'm sorry, how can I fix it?
It: I forgive you. Go and live with it.
The forgiveness is a beautiful thing, but oh, it is so rare thing.
This is an act of the communication, the closeness, the understanding, the correcting.
And Forgiveness takes the two persons (at least). Not one. Always.
So, I do not plan to ask anyone for forgiveness. I am responsible for my actions. And for my mistakes, I need a way of the correction, not your forgiveness.
I do not plan to forgive anyone. Because I have no one, today, who would fit the criteria of the forgiveness. 1. Realized the mistake. 2. Fixed it. 3. Who'd need my confirmation that I noticed the correction. 4. Who'd need me in his life, further, after my confirmation.
And I'm not so cruel, let people correct what they have done. I'm not an asshole, to "forgive", and make someone live with it.
Прощение
http://www.vachss.com/av_books/forgiveness.html
Не знаю, добавили ли наш перевод на сайт.
http://www.wallsofsilence.com/watch.php?vid=de8bac478 Разговор Эндрю с Опрой. Про то же.
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