"It's not that I'm afraid to die, I just don't want to be there when it happens." - Woody Allen

"I must confess, I was born at a very early age." - Groucho Marx

"Money couldn't buy you friends, but you get a better class of enemy." - Spike Milligan

"Money is better than poverty, if only for financial reasons." - Woody Allen

"Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol"

"Don't Knock masterbation, it's sex with someone i love!"