Drink coffee... do stupid things faster and with more energy

Start each day with a smile and get it out of the way  

Organized people are just too lazy to look for things

A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do. A woman must do what he can't. 

Still young enough to know everything

Even if the voices are not real, they have some pretty good ideas.

My other body is in the shop

Always being right is an awesome responsibility

I've seen normal. It ain't pretty.

Your opinion although interesting is irrelevant

Who are you and why are you reading my shit?