time to behave like an adult... ending our friendship was a mistake, but at least i had some time alone to think things over... i need him in my life... as a friend... it's still hard to believe that "us" doesn't exist anymore and there is no future, but i cannot just erase him out of my life like he never existed... eventually i'll get over him... but it will take more time if i don't see him at all... it would kill me... i miss him so much...
just don't know how to tell him... he's scared of my histerical break outs and might think that i want to be his friend for different reasons... well, i just miss him, that's all.
and no matter how devastating it is i accept the fact that our relationship is over... forever.