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im not sure if i can do this any longer... should be happy, should enjoy it as long as it lasts... simply, without any complications, just go with the flow... but i can't...
one day he will meet somebody and fall in love... and then i will be forgotten. the moment his life becomes more or less peaceful he will not need me anymore... but at least one of us will have a full life... it rips my heart apart when i see him sad... i really want him to be happy... with or without me... cuz obviously i can't make him happy... he doesn't want me as a girlfriend... i guess im just not good enough...

"...lost by these windstorms of self doubt..."