I have already heard so many advises and recomendations

I have managed to live almost 8 months without it. I was free and now I am in prison again. In prison of my own emotions. I can notcontrol myself anymore. I am afraid to break again. I thought I ran away but I could not.

I am here together with my passion again, "do not make things more difficult than they are". I am trying.

One more passion. One more pain.

I want to stop.

Now,

God you know that I did not want it again. I did not look for this. Everything was so right and now everything is wrong again......... I am done. If you will not help me, nobody will.

How many times was I in love

Let us count

First time when I was twenty.

After when I was twenty two. After I was twenty four. After I was 25. And after this catastrophy when I was twenty seven I was sure it will never happen again. Maybe too sure.....

It is so stupied to be in love with the person who just fucked you for a couple of times. Who will never love you. Who does not care whether you exist or not. Who will dissapear soon from your life if he did not do it. now.

Just stop it. I am sick. I can not.