I am just thinking what language can I use. I am thinking about something nobody can understand. I just have to go through it. I just do not have another choice. i can not break. I do not have a rigt to break and to destroy everything again. I have no right because I am not alone. I am just recollecting this lady who brought me home. her daughter died. I will not do it to my parents. I have brought enough pain for them to hurt them again. They must live a peacful life. Too many Is I am egosistic. But I will survive, I dont have another choice I must