Why does it always happen so that when you look forward to smth and you want it to happen as quickly as possible, there is always smth that spoils it in the simplest way as if there are no powers defending everything positive and kind. Why the dark is always stronger than the light, they are no more equal. And perhaps they have never been so. Why the pain from smth bad and "ignoble" is harder and longer lasting than the joy and happines that we feel after doing good or receiving good emotions. One minuscule unpleasantness or news that we don't like outweight some nice reminiscents. And why am i so emotional that i get upset all the time if something i wanted to happen doesn't. What is the most disturbing factor is that i cannot hide what i feel, if i get upset there is no use in concealing it, but i would love to know how to make up feelings you don't feel. I'm through....

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