its been long time since i wrote anything.............

but oh well, i kinda dont have enough time now to keep up with my journal.............its hard to keep up with my real life anyway......work takes too much time ........i am always tired .........and always working......i kinda like my work and at the same time sometimes i just wanna fuck it and leave it.........but i try , i try really hard to make it happen........

i dont hang out with my friends anymore,,.........i dont really know if i have friends anymore.....my coworkers that i speak on a phone every single day are now my best friends.......i speak to them more than i speak to my parents...........haha.........I FUCKING HATE YOU PEOPLE AT CHASE..............and your texas accent...............why do you always give me such a hard time at work????

i spoiled my bfs weekends..........but hey , he spoiled mine.........i know that he is not cheating on me, but i just wanna accuse him of it just to see his reaction.........i didnt say anything to him this morning, but he got the idea that i am mad at him and he probably has no clue why..........oh well.........

i just like to play hard........so what he can do.........and how far he will go.....even if it means loosing him........its so funny, he shaved his chest for me..........i think he really likes me, but will see tonight what his got to say........ i will keep on pushing him every time a little bit further just to see how far he will go........i dont want him to flirt with other girls and if he cant handle it, than i dont need him........even through i really really like him........i am so into him.........sex is great. .......... everythign is great ......well , not everything. , sometimes his conversations about future scary  me.........i fucking dont need him...whatever..........

i saw will a couple of days ago and he had a couple of beers after work.........he was so sweet , the boy is totally inlove with me.........i feel like a bitch for breaking his heart, he really is a great guy, but we met in a wrong place and at a wrong time........and he knows it....

i cant believe i have to deal with all these problems at age 22

fuck them all