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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble 18-04-2005 22:06 к комментариям - к полной версии - понравилось!


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Have you ever wondered why foreigners have trouble with the English Language?

Let's face it
English is a stupid language.
There is no egg in the eggplant
No ham in the hamburger
And neither pine nor apple in the pineapple.
English muffins were not invented in England
French fries were not invented in France.

We sometimes take English for granted
But if we examine its paradoxes we find that
Quicksand takes you down slowly
Boxing rings are square
And a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

If writers write, how come fingers don't fing.
If the plural of tooth is teeth
Shouldn't the plural of phone booth be phone beeth
If the teacher taught,
Why didn't the preacher praught.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables
What the heck does a humanitarian eat!?
Why do people recite at a play
Yet play at a recital?
Park on driveways and
Drive on parkways

You have to marvel at the unique lunacy
Of a language where a house can burn up as
It burns down
And in which you fill in a form
By filling it out
And a bell is only heard once it goes!

English was invented by people, not computers
And it reflects the creativity of the human race
(Which of course isn't a race at all)

That is why
When the stars are out they are visible
But when the lights are out they are invisible
And why it is that when I wind up my watch
It starts
But when I wind up this observation,
It ends.

http://www.ahajokes.com/
вверх^ к полной версии понравилось! в evernote
Комментарии (5):
Laliko 29-04-2005-14:14 удалить
I want to speak good English, so I must practice it every day. But I always become very nervous and lose myself, when anybody starts speaking with me in English ((( Two years ago I have English lessons and my vocabulary was enough to speak English fluently, but now I forget more than half of that. What shall I do? Let’s just speaking.. mmm.. or writing and correct each other if there are mistakes..
Laliko 30-04-2005-08:32 удалить
Мда.. глухо как в болоте...
Funny_English 17-08-2005-01:40 удалить
Исходное сообщение Laliko
I want to speak good English, so I must practice it every day. But I always become very nervous and lose myself, when anybody starts speaking with me in English ((( Two years ago I have English lessons and my vocabulary was enough to speak English fluently, but now I forget more than half of that. What shall I do? Let’s just speaking.. mmm.. or writing and correct each other if there are mistakes..


I see. I can recommend you special internet-programm such as skype. It will allow you to speak in English as you speak by phone. So you should to have the special equipment - microphone and headphones and of course to setup skype.

Let's download it here

My nickname in skype is gurmeskype (you may find me or another men for talking in English from any country)
Funny_English 17-08-2005-01:41 удалить
Исходное сообщение Laliko
Мда.. глухо как в болоте...


лучше поздно, чем никогда :)
Maffia_girl 15-11-2006-02:13 удалить
when the English tongue we speak,
why does BREAK not rhyme with WEAK?
Won't you tell me why it's true
We say SEW, but also FEW..
And the maker of a verse
Cannot rhyme his HORSE with WORSE.
BEARD is not the same as HEARD.
Cord is different from word.
Cow is cow, but low is low.
Shoe is never rhymed with foe..
Think of hose, and dose, and lose.
and Think of loose, and yet of choose.
Think of comb, and tomb, and bomb.
doll and roll, and home and some!
And since pay is rhymed with say,
Why not paid with said, i pray?!
Think of blood, and food, and good.
Mould is not pronounced like could.
Why that done, but gone and lone???
is there any reason known?..!
To sum up, it seems to me,
that sounds and letters don't agree...


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