[показать]
Авки с Грин Дэй я всё таки сделала....Правда,только 2...На большее меня не хватило....А потом я была занята другим делом-сочиняла свой обожаемый слэш про моих обожаемых Блинков....Кому интеересно-читайте.Но как всегда-все светлые и прекрасные мысли ко мне приходят на английском.Уж извините.

З.Ы.Кто довольно долго читает мой дневник может заметить в одном месте рассказа пост из моего дневника...Специально для этого его искала сегодня))

ИТАК!

Title: Where to begin
Author:Me-Anxietyyy
Pairing: Mark/Tom
Rating: PG-13
Summary: ANGST! and plenty of it :) - Mark’s lost and doesn’t know where to begin looking.
Disclaimer: I do not own any member, name or associate of Blink 182. This piece is an entire work of fiction i.e. this never has, is, or will happen(anyway i hope so!). No profit is being made from this, it was written for non-commercial purposes only. No copyright infringement intended.



Where are you, Tom? I can hear you, but you’re not here, not next to me where you should be. I’m getting worried about you. I haven’t seen you for quite a while now, I’m beginning to feel so confused, as right now you are the only thing that makes sense to me, and I don’t know where you are. You’ve been gone for what seems like a lifetime, and I need you here.

I’ve missed you so much since our last night together; the memories of the warmth, love, everything that we shared on that night will stay with me forever. I though you believed it to be special as I did, but then why aren’t you still here, sharing this moment with me? You should be, but then you’re not and that just makes me confused again.

All I can see is one picture of you, the one Travis took of us play fighting in my garden. I’ve got my back to the camera, but your face is in full focus, that expression of sheer joy and elation so evident in you. I can’t help but smile whenever I see at that captured moment. I remember having to beg Travis to give the photo to me, he found my desperation so amusing yet quite pathetic, eventually he gave in. I wanted that picture more than anything, except you, of course. Looking at it makes me think of you. It makes me so homesick.

I can’t stop these thoughts of you from embedding themselves in my mind. Usually I won’t really notice nor care, as you would be there anyway, taking up my concentration, but you’re not here. Why aren’t you with me, Tom?

The war tried to pull us apart, I know. The war between you and Jennifer, the increasingly bitter divorce over your money, your house, your daughter. I know how much it hurt you, I was there to wipe away your tears or let you sob yourself to sleep while I cradled you in my arms. I never wanted to let go, Tom, believe me.

It’s so lonely here. And dark, and cold. It feels like everybody had left me, but you’re still here, somewhere, right? You could never leave me. I’m so lost though, you’re the only thing that guides me and yet I don’t know where you are anymore. Promise you will find me soon, please? I can’t do anything on my own, I never realised how much I could feel, how much my emotions could tear me down and make me miss you this much.

I’m not exactly sure if I can hold on any longer without you. I hope we’re together again soon, otherwise who knows what might happen to me? You said it yourself, we are totally dependant on each other even though we couldn’t care less about what anybody else has to say. Maybe that was our problem, we couldn’t rely on anybody else, not even ourselves.

Are you afraid, Tom? I am. I afraid of everything right now. Being alone, sitting in the dark, not knowing what’s going to happen. I’m scared of being scared, and I’m gotten so used to feeling like this that it’s irritating me, the monotony of it. Please tell me that soon it will be over, that I can fall asleep in your arms and wake up curled up next to you. Please let me know that soon I can watch you sleep and know that everything is fine, that you’re happy. That’s all I need to know. Just tell me.

I’m so in love you with that it feels like my heart is literally breaking, sharp stabbing pains have resided in my chest ever since you disappeared. I’ve had pains in my arms and stomach and head… well, most places really, since then as well but they are nothing compared to the feeling in my heart and my soul. Something is ripping me apart, and I don’t know how to stop it when you’re not here.

I want you and I miss you. I love you. Bring me home soon.
In the corner of his lover’s bathroom, Tom Delonge hunched up and cried endlessly, finding no comfort in the familiar scent of Mark nor the sight of his possessions. In the hallway, Travis leaned against the door heavily with a sigh and gave up on coaxing the guitarist out, instead letting one tear roll down his cheek and die on his lips. He slid down to the floor with his back against the wood, and closed his eyes for a moment. He opened them again after a pause, and turned his head towards Mark’s lounge, where currently many of the bassist’s friends and family had gathered. He felt grateful that so many people had turned up for this one, final event. Mark’s funeral.


Music:All-American Reject - "Swing Swing"